


Blissfully Trapped Online

by GonKilluLuciel



Category: Hunter X Hunter
Genre: BoyxBoy, COVID-19, Corona Virus - Freeform, Discord - Freeform, Gaming, Gonkillu - Freeform, Killugon - Freeform, M/M, Online Dating, bxb - Freeform, gonxkillua, hunterxhunter - Freeform, hxh - Freeform, killuaxgon - Freeform, online
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-11-03
Updated: 2021-02-27
Packaged: 2021-03-09 02:00:33
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 9
Words: 52,016
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27326944
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GonKilluLuciel/pseuds/GonKilluLuciel
Summary: #My_15th_Wattpad_StoryCorona AU• Online DatingCoronavirus is widespread, forcing civilians to stay at home. They were worried, indeed, and it's better not to risk their lives anyway.The story was different for the extremely extroverted 17-year-old Gon Freecss, who's been dying to leave and talk with his friends. Alas, his aunt was overly strict about the topic.So, he finally was introduced to the online world that every introvert appreciates. He didn't know that Online relationships can be this strong- he didn't know that he'd fall in love with someone, who didn't show him a face.He loved Killua under the name 'Electrified' and wished for more every time they text, wished for more every time he teases, wished for more every time Killua fumbled with his keys because of embarrassment. It was Gon's fun time to tease the boy, have fun, forget about COVID-19.He didn't know that he'll appreciate someone online and love him truly anyway.Phone sex, nudes, and more, Gon had his ultimate fun teasing the boy over the screen. But, both of them cherished every moment without them knowing...
Relationships: Gon Freecs & Killua Zoldyck, Gon Freecs/Killua Zoldyck, Kurapika/Leorio Paladiknight
Comments: 104
Kudos: 194





	1. Sheer Boredom

**Author's Note:**

> Summary Continuation  
> •••
> 
> "Mito! Please open the door! I have to meet him! Please!" Killua yelled, his suitcase rested beside him outside the doorstep. He was knocking harshly on the door, noting that Mito is a few steps away but not responding. 
> 
> "Killua, leave." Responded Mito. The grieving tone in her voice broke something inside the stubborn boy, who knocked harsher on Gon's door.
> 
> "No, Gon needs me. Please, I want him to know that I am here! H-He has to know!" Protested the wrecked Killua, sliding down on his knees, his hands and head resting on the door.
> 
> "I will tell him that you came to visit..." Said Mito, finalizing any possibilities to go inside...

Like a bomb of warmth, the sun settled. Tangerine colored the skies and the waters like fire hearths, and the day was getting on a battle against the night. Dusk illuminated like a fragment— like a reflection of the sunrise, promising to come back after a dark blanket full of illuminating stars. Waving goodbye by stretching the exceptional colors of artistry, the ones inspiring an author and the ones coloring a canvas. 

It was the time, where rabbits left their haven to play, jumping and humping all around. The leaves swished intelligibly, some of them wholly fell, crunching under the boots of a seventeen years old male. He's been drained from the physical workout, just hiking up a hill every time he goes to buy groceries. It was getting chilly each second passes, indicating how close the night is coming to penetrate through his world.

Normally, he'd care; he'd even get unconditionally delighted to run through the hills, jump between the trees, and sit on the damp grass under a sky covered with luminous stars. Alas, he hasn't been able to do that for a while, which is frustrating, debilitating, and unreasonable. He knows the risk, but how would he consume the plague when there is no human around him?

His aunt is exaggerating, trapping him in the house. Only he did get out when he needed to buy groceries or wash his aunt's car. He wanted to be free like a bird flying high and far away— like he used to be. He wanted to talk his way through the fishermen, the townies, even when his town lacks the presence of teens. He still wants to be socially around. 

His huffs and pants audibly evacuated his mouth, a little smoke due to hot interacting with cold evaporated through. The teen looked up, finally spotting his designated goal, which is to reach the house.

He was met with the cozy-looking house before him, giving him little to no goosebumps. 

His house, his haven. The one he always called and still calls and will forever call home. It was a simple country home, less desirable for being far away from town. Autumn colors renovated the walls and the clay bricks, the color of tinted pink, became darker. The old peeling walls had memories to share with the young owner, who always pampered his fingers on them— spoiling them too much. The front door was made of dark wood planks, giving a cool vibe to the townie's home. He grabbed the hinge of the door, eyeing the rhythmic sway of the window plants, dancing with the breeze. What caught his eyes back, the little splinters falling from the hinge on his gloves. He unlocked the doors, arms full of plastic bags holding a variety of ingredients inside.

Putting down the groceries at the front door, he wore off his mask and sighed in relief. He was hardly breathing when he was putting the mask on, so he couldn't wait to reach the house and peel it off his face. Taking his shoes off, putting it in the shoe closet next to the door, he went to the kitchen.

Before doing anything, like his aunt always said, safety comes first. He threw the mask in the garbage along with the gloves, going to the bathroom to wash up and get into a clean pair of clothes. Going upstairs wasn't hard although his power was drained from hiking. The squeaks made by his feet made his ears sore and disturbed. 

It was becoming harder and harder each week he goes grocery shopping. Quarantine was a pain to him and his physique, and he was getting frustrated and depressed with each day coming by. He turned the faucet around, washing his hands with his sterile, then his face. Following that action was the action of stripping off and throwing the clothes in the nearby hamper.

The bathroom between bedrooms wasn't that big, but it was cozy enough for two people living together. The teen didn't mind, and he only needed to wind down by taking a fast sterile shower before cleaning around. 

Steam started fogging the tight room, blurring and numbing the five senses. Rubbing his leathery, freckled skin with soap, Gon hummed throughout the action. His hair wet from the hot shower, so his spikes dimmed down. Little strands fell on his face, disturbing his thoughtful thoughts. Once finished, he toweled himself and got in comfy dark green sweatpants and a black turtleneck. Wrapping his head with a towel, he subsequently trudged down the stairs, going towards the kitchen again. 

He entered the kitchen anew, heading towards the sacks of groceries on the kitchen island. Gon's aunt always paid extra attention to the kitchen; it was the most important part of the house for her, especially its cleanliness. The ceramic floor tiles were twinkling under the kitchen's light, and on the other side, a round table rested next to the window with only two chairs. On the table, stood a simplistic vase with a standout bouquet. Mito had changed them already, and she chose asters this time.

Gon reached the sleek, bespoke, granite counters to fill them again with the missing ingredients. Cupboards were opening and closing because of Gon's active moves. The appliances around were stainless steel, spotless, and very well-scrubbed, so he didn't have to worry about cleaning them later. Mito had taken a lot of time just to match every mug in the kitchen as well, and it was well equipped. He opened the fridge and filled it with beverages, then made sure the tea towels were just as clean.

Thankfully, his aunt took the gesture of cleaning today despite seeing a spot here and there for Gon to clean. Her shift is always from the afternoon until midnight anyway, so Gon was usually lonely. As an extrovert, loneliness could be the worst enemy for his mental health.

He would like to sneak out, running to play with animals and greeting some neighbors down the hill. However, his aunt is overly strict, and if she found out, he'd be terribly doomed. December is not on the verge of ending yet. He's been schooled online for quite a while, thanks to coronavirus. 

He gets that AIDS came from a man who hooked up with a monkey, but what about corona? Who hooked up with who to bring that pandemic to the world?

He sarcastically thought, cursing at his own stupidity. He's definitely going crazy in the house, and he has to do something to knock off some time.

Once done with the grocery, he looked around. What should he clean? It could be the best distraction so far…

Roaming the house around, clutching the sweeper, he inspected the area with his neatness radar-eye. There is a calmness to cleaning the house, feeling the furniture glide over the wooden floor, and the soft sound of the broom as it sweeps. He swiftly swept around, making sure the autumn's dust wasn't thrown inside the room. His aunt is a clean freak and after Corona collided on earth, it was the worst ever living with her.

People who are always neat, neat, neat could be the worst when it comes to pandemics like these, but Gon understands the commotion. He understands his aunt's fear. But, he doesn't care actually?

The living room looked brighter once Gon finished cleaning and spraying some sterile in the air. He fumbled with the fireplace to light it up once the night trespassed around. It was chilly, extremely chilly, so he had to warm the place up before making his favorite herbal tea. 

Although the day passed by eventually, it was filled out with boredom. Gon didn't dare to disobey his aunt, so she wouldn't confiscate his favorite belongings. He was never attached to his phone like this moment. Before, he thought it was useless except for emergency calls since he was always out doing activities and hanging out with neighbors and fishermen. 

The living room only had a brown old leather couch in the middle and adjacently sat another brown leather loveseat. It was a wide living room, so it felt empty. On the corner, a Christmas tree stood, but no one cared for it yet. Christmas is close, and Gon was getting excited. Maybe he'd convince his aunt to get out for a bit? It's a holiday!

The polyamide flooring tickled Gon's toes, and he started to get simple heat strokes from the nearby fireplace. He turned off the light to make the atmosphere lovelier and skimmed through his phone. 

He's been on Netflix for quite a while now, and he has to change because it started to get duller each time he binge-watches something. That's how he finally logged in to his abandoned discord account to check up on servers and friends. It would be great to chat with some peeps in a boring atmosphere like that. He had finished all of his chores earlier, and his homework was done and professionally submitted on time. He couldn't risk slacking under Mito's watchful eyes anyway, so he had the rest of his time before he goes to sleep.

The servers were the same. Either silent or cracking stupid jokes— Sometimes playing with bots, which is utterly boring to an extrovert. He never understood how people have fun doing these all the time. On the contrary, Gon remembered a server that he recently joined. Kurapika, his best friend since the first year of high school, invited him a month before school started. It was a public server, and the members were widespread around the world, and in huge numbers.

Asteroids.

The name is enough for Gon to admire the muted server in his account. Yes, he muted in mid-August when he started online school. It mainly focused on a lot of hobbies and talents such as art, gaming, writing, and more. Each of them has a whole category to investigate. So, Gon was willingly excited while skimming through the overwhelming channels.

As he was able to see, the #General channel was highly active, messages upon messages were firing up, so Gon butted in, typing 'hi' before reading any of the texts above— and he regretted this.

Because…

As dramatically as his life indoors could be, he was caught up in a fight between a user called Electrified and another user called FuriousTentacles.

Gon was reading through the messages when his 'hi' was ignored fully. He wasn't upset or anything, he was just concerned. And he never kept to himself as he always had to butt in. It was a habit of his not to mind other people's business.

Understanding that both users are fighting over a game, Gon interfered while texting down. _What's the matter? It's just a game, chill._ And of course, his reply was never wholly satisfying to the people fighting. 

FuriousTentacles didn't reply, but Electrified was indeed _electrifying_ . They hammered their insults down, typing furiously about how it ain't Gon's business anyway. _Mind your own business, AmberJajanken._ Gon read the last insult aloud, rolling his eyes at the venom he received over the screen. He needed to defend himself, or he would be humiliated even more.

He just wanted to help them break the fight. fights were never healthy. Subsequently, his last way of stopping a fight could be rather intimidating— suggestive. He directly typed down, without thinking of the outcome _. Don't be like that. We're here to have fun together ;)._

And Electrified didn't waste any opportunity to fire back: _As if I know such a stupid person. AmberJajanken? Pffft._ Gon stared at the text thoughtfully, his facials were unreadable as if he was contemplating his next move in a war zone. He sipped a little of his tea, then rested his arm on the couch’s arm. 

Of course, it was a war zone—an online war zone. Gon had already typed the next suggestive text, _haha, yes, I have amber eyes ;3 but, I bet your 'Electrified' personality is something to look up to. I'm kinda aroused._ Electrified was typing, stopped typing, typing again, then stopping again.

Gon raised an eyebrow at his screen, a leg was lifted on the couch towards his chest while the other dangled down. He sipped a little of his tea, still staring at his screen. This is fun, incredibly fun. _What?_ After a whole minute of typing, Electrified managed to send a reply. Gon laughed mockingly and confidently replied again.

_What, What? The cat ate your tongue, shy, cutie?_ Electrified started typing and disobeying the rules of the server about not cursing, making the smirk on Gon’s face wider. 

_Fuck off, bitch._

_Your reply is quite sexy. Playing hard to get? Because I only fuck in._ Gon knew that he screwed up, but when no one replied to him, he knew he won the fight.

A second of tense waiting trespassed and Gon awkwardly waited for someone to reply. That's when Electrified replied. They were probably contemplating how to reply. _What the fuck?_ Gon didn't even know if Electrified is a male or a female. So, he decided to go for a female to win in both cases. If Electrified is a female, he'd win her over the next pickup line and they would be able to be friends at least, but if Electrified is a male, it'd be quite the tease to burn him down.

Going according to plan, Gon finally texted back. _I could see your beautiful face over the screen, fuming with red cheeks like the dress you'd be wearing._ Gon giggled teasingly. No joke, he's fucking bored and this is giving him some pleasure. No one else was talking, which is probably because of how confusing the fight had become. _Wtf. What? I'm a male, dumbass._ Electrified texted back, the bite in his texts was no more evident. Gon whistled; he's gay and with experience on both female and male sides. Electrified's personality would be endearingly entertaining to discover. 

He likes investigating males, the ones with a venomous demeanor. Gon smirked slightly, staring at his screen. _Oops, didn't notice_. He sarcastically texted but Electrified never replied. Gon's shoulders slumped down; perhaps, the other was bored of him, or he knew something was up because of how confusing Gon was.

He debated whether he should send a friend request or not, wondering if the other is hurt by what Gon just did. What Gon wanted was to chat with everyone, but he was caught up in the unnecessary drama that he enjoyed, a little.

He decided to mention Electrified and apologize. _@Electrified heyyy, I didn't mean to be ruuude. Sorry!_

The #General started filling with texts from other idle members, ignoring the fight above, so they could resume their daily chat. It gave Gon the time to skim through the fight between Electrified and FuriousTentacles, noting that apparently from the texts, they are both friends in reality. If he knew that both of them had known each other in reality, he wouldn't have interfered. 

He rested his phone aside, staring at the crackling wood in the fireplace. While being at it, the towel that embraced his hair just absorbed the dampness, so he had to dry his hair and take it off. His tousled hair was pointed in all directions; Gon didn't mind because he was heading to sleep soon. He continued sipping his herbal tea, a content look on his face.

Only the fireplace lightened the room, making the sleepiness hard to resist. Nonetheless, he had to check his phone one more time, and what shocked him was a friend request from FuriousTentacles. Electrified and the tentacles are real friends, right? Electrified was threatening tentacles to beat his ass if tentacles stole his chocolate at school next Monday. It looked like a silly fight that transformed into a game fight later.

Gon was afraid that FuriousTentacles was going to curse Gon out in private messages, but he accepted the request anyway. He stared at the green dot next to FuriousTentacles’ icon and waited patiently to be contacted. 

_Hey_ Tentacles texted, and Gon was puffing his cheeks nervously, but he knew that he had to message back.

_Ello_. Gon typed out and breathed. Could he just go to sleep now? Yes, he was bored, and this is killing every boredom cell in his body, which is good. But, he didn't like sleeping upset— let alone getting out of a fight.

_You were flirting with my friend. Do we know you?_ Tentacles texted again. Although Tentacles tried not to sound nervous, Gon was able to read the anxiety emitting through the text.

_Why u askin? Was Electrified stalked outside the online zone or smthn?_ Gon attempted to look intimidating, sexy, and cool. But in reality, he'd like to be cheery around others. 

_Bruh. No. But you literally freaked him out. Thanks to you he spammed my phone with calls, asking if I know u._ Tentacles replied and Gon smirked. _Why'd you even try to flirt with a stranger? Ur a weirdo._ Tentacles commented back.

Gon had to clear the misunderstanding out now. He didn't want to sound like a freak, but he wanted to have some weird-ass fun. Nonetheless, he knew when he had to stop. _Tell your little friend that I was joking. He was being rude to me tho when I just tried to stop u two from fighting. It ain't my business. I know. But, nothing excuses his rudeness, so I had to be rude in my own way._ He explained, then added. _I'm guilty of the gender assumption though. I apologize for that._

Tentacles was typing, but nothing came out in the end. Gon was fatigued and his patience was fully drained. He couldn't resist the temptation of sinking into the comfy couch, flipping into its pillow next to the warm fireplace, especially when the little pit-pattering of the rain knocked on his window. He didn't notice when it started raining, but the sound engulfing his ears was everything he needed to feel the urge to sleep.

He set his mug of tea on the coffee table, laying down and looking at his account again. Suddenly, he got a mention on #General from Electrified, so he directly pressed on it.

_@AmberJajanken dw, forgiven_. It was Electrified's reply on Gon's last mention— when he mentioned the boy. Smiling at his screen, he set it down, letting his built biceps stretch a little before slipping his hands under the pillow to sleep. It’s gonna be fun messing with these people, especially the one called Electrified.


	2. Boredom Subsides

Morning peeked through the blinds sneakily, and Gon winced once the golden rays nibbled with his eyelashes. He shifted into his bed tiredly; that's unfair, the sun shouldn't rise in winter. Where are the clouds? Where's the rain? Oh, it's autumn. Gon's mental conversation always got out of hand in the morning, where he fought himself about getting off the bed to wash up. 

His days started to be bearable since the day of the server's fight. He's been hanging and sticking around the server for quite a while. What was so funny, every member knew about AmberJajanken now, the one who fought with Electrified— if that was considered a fight anyway. 

He laid on his back, stifling a big audible yawn, stretching his arms high, then slumping them down. His room wasn't anything special. It had a single bed pressed to the wall— the comforters were heavenly, though. They were comfy and warm, striped in blue and white. Because of his room's angle, Gon's room had the brightest light in the house at the sunrise timing. It could be disturbing from time to time, but Gon appreciates the sun way too much sometimes. 

The heavy eyelids of Gon fought the sleepiness harder. He has to wake up to get ready for his online school. Gon needed a moment, a moment to shed the sleep from his brain. He needed a moment to allow the visions of the night to give away to the day, to focus on reality after drowning in dreams and wonderlands. His hazel eyes greeted the sunlight with a glimmer, twinkling lovingly— loving life. At first, the sunlight was like backlit images of the cinema screen, but once adjusted, his eyes twinkled and his lips curved to a smile.

Eventually, he sat up, yawning again, but sleepiness was fully shattered in a minute. He looked around the bright room, a tint of autumn colored around. He slid his legs to the edges, sensing the hairy blue-ish rug, tickling his feet. Rotating his neck for a muscle stretch, Gon eyed the papers of his assignment on the simplistic desk. The papers rested down on a wooden desk, nearby a simple desk chair adjacent to his bed. He put up some of his energy to push up and meander towards it, clutching the papers in hand. Damn, he forgot to submit the assignment.

"Ah, jeez. All because of the server." He spent his whole day talking on the server yesterday, throwing jokes, flirting with strangers, and talking about games. If his aunt knew, he'd be grounded.

He couldn't help a sigh escaping his petulant lips, putting the papers down and heading to his closet, the one that has a lot of his childhood pictures pinned on its door. He rummaged through it, looking for something comfy to wear after his morning shower.

He's being grumpy today, and he didn't know why. The sun is bright, no birds chirping, but the atmosphere is soft. It is Gon's ideal mood, so why's he grumpy? Perhaps, not submitting his assignment had an impact on him.

Either way, he decided to go with black joggers and a purple hoodie. Sometimes, Gon likes to change his normal colors although he knew purple was the least fitting color for his personality. He set them on the bed with a pair of boxers and a tank top, then snatched a towel before heading to the bathroom.

Sounds were emitting down from the kitchen, the sound of the stainless steel equipment, indicating that Mito is already preparing breakfast for them. Gon rushed into the bathroom, shutting the door and brushing his teeth. He stripped, got into the shower, and sighed in relief once the hot water poured down— it was heavenly in drunk weather. Again, like he always does, he waited for his hair to be completely wet, to soak and suck in the water, to lay down after defying the gravity the whole day. 

He rubbed his sensitive skin smoothly, clutching his biceps along the way. Releasing shampoo into his hair, then rubbing vigorously and enjoying the water vapor in the air. After a minute of scrubbing his skin until it turned red, he rinsed the soap off, turning the faucet, and getting out of the shower.

His aunt just finished cooking, setting the omelet down on the table, then stared outside the window. Christmas is almost there, going to knock on their door. She was worried since Gon's been waiting for this the whole year. His dad only shows up on holidays, and the last one didn't pass smoothly. She wished that Ging won't break Gon's heart this year too because she knew how fragile Gon could be about that topic.

The creak of the stairs alerted the marmalade-haired lady, who turned to give a warm smile to her mature teen. The other returned the parenting smile with a fond, wide grin before settling silently on his seat. Mito sat as well, raising an eyebrow at Gon's fashion choice. "No green?"

"I think…" Touching his nape, Gon gave his aunt a nervous grin. He looked down at the food on his plate, getting ready to dig down. Going through tradition and routine, they expressed their gratefulness for the food, closing their eyelids and calmly expressing the gesture, then proceeding to dig in their plates. 

Savoring each bite of the omelet, Gon was lifted to the clouds by the heavenly taste. Even when Mito makes the same plate twice, it'll always be heavenly. Her cooking sense was never passed to Gon, even when she tried teaching him; he just couldn't fit in the kitchen. He cooks, but he cooks the basics only. 

"Don't forget to log in class on time." Mito reminded her boy, whose mouth was full. He only nodded, looking at her expression naively. "Also, I didn't tidy up the living room after yesterday's gameplay. Could you do that for me, please?" Mito politely questioned, splitting the omelet with her fork.

Gon gulped the contents in his mouth hard, hands resting on the table as he spoke. "Of course! I'll do it after school and homework."

Mito gently smiled, her eyes were unreadable, but Gon didn't push. He knew that she's worried about Christmas, so he tried being overly cheery not to make her worry further about him.

Thereon, Gon went back to his room, leaving Mito to wash the dishes and rest before her shift. He turned on his laptop to submit his assignment. The dread overcame his veins since he didn't even know when the deadline was. It's probably too late, but he's going to try anyway. 

Finally logged in his account for school, Gon typed down the content of the paper, grinning when the teacher didn't close the assignment down yet. He submitted his work and looked at the hour. It was going to strike nine sharp soon, so he had to get ready for his zoom.

Preparing everything around and looking at the mirror to make sure that his hair is not tousled, Gon made his way back to his desk. The grunting sound of the chair moving pursed Gon's lips, who sat down and clutched his phone to skim through the server before the session started.

The #General was dim and silent. Probably people are either asleep or busy. It all depends on their timezone. On the other hand, there were a few messages in the #Art channel, so Gon pressed into it to notice an ethereal art posted by Electrified.

Gon's lips were parted; he didn't know that Electrified is talented like that! That's why they say don't judge the book by its cover. Gon inspected the drawing, it was a hand, cut on the wrist and bleeding. The fingers looked like aching to touch something. Blood drops were splattered around the black background and at the top, a little dim light. It looked like the hand wanted to grab the light, but it was so far away. 

Gon's heart skipped a beat as he stared at the drawing profoundly. He emoted with a broken heart, commenting under the picture about what he truly felt. _This art broke something in me. I don't mean it as negatively, it is just magnificent. It made my heart go beat. You're so talented, I adore it._

He didn't communicate with Electrified since the fight, only snippets of public conversation with others here and there, but never personally talked to him.

Electrified didn't reply yet, so Gon skimmed the other paintings. Some are silly, some are rather not too professional but with meaning, and others are otherworldly. The ones who affected Gon the most belonged to Electrified. 

He had a drawing with a black silhouette trying to reach a white silhouette, but a vibrating barrier was blocking their hands from touching. It gave Gon a shiver, spiraling throughout his body. The boy had a sad sense of art, but definitely emotional. Eventually, Gon quoted each picture, sending hearts and compliments, and of course mentioning Electrified.

His curiosity was deeply piqued, and he wanted to know Electrified better after observing his painting. Some of them weren't digital. They were snapped by his camera and they were painted on a piece of canvas. He adored these the most since he was able to see the extra time they took to be done so perfectly.

Finally getting into the class, the boring hours of the day started, but Gon was well equipped for it. He needed to get good grades, so he could choose the major and the University he wants after graduation.

The class commenced, and the teacher's complexion flashed over the screen. Like every day, the teacher ordered everyone to turn on their cameras; she's probably fond of Gon's face or something. He giggled at his confidence, flashing himself into the screen with a flashy grin. 

The teacher was staring at everyone and waiting, so Gon had the chance to busy himself with his phone until the lesson started. He noticed a few new messages in the #Art and smiled. Electrified replied, and his reply was as simple as anyone else, but it made Gon happy that he wasn't ignored.

_Thanks. I appreciate the compliment._ It was everything Electrified replied with. The other messages were also praising him, so Gon assumed that Electrified's reply was directed to everyone. Subsequently, Gon set his phone down, preparing his notebook, and opening a document for the class by the time the attendance was taken. 

The hour behind Gon tik-toked. Boredom manifested through Gon again, and he wanted to move his numb limbs. He often got off the seat while the teacher was explaining just to do some stretches, but luckily the teacher didn't mind. Assignment after assignment, Gon solved.

He was getting irritated by the routine, but he reminded himself that it's all temporary. The pandemic will be over, and he'll go back to school normally again. He'd go run on the hills again; it's all a matter of time.

On the contrary, the day just passed by, from literature to Math, and from Math to Biology. Gon enjoyed Biology— being the brightest when it comes to biology attracted a lot of eyes towards him in that class. Observers at some point had to cut the class to ask Gon about his source of knowledge, suspecting that the boy was getting help from a search engine or something of the kind.

Gon always proved them wrong, explaining the wilderness he lived in his whole life, and his interest in nature. Lunch crossed by, and Gon was doing push-ups before he eats. After the thirty's push up, Gon jumped, squatted once, and ran down the stairs to get his omelet leftover. He went back to his room, snatched his phone, and relaxed on the bed. 

He crossed his legs and put the plate down on them, so he could unlock his phone. Some of the server peeps were playing the newly released game on discord, fighting and challenging each other in the game category. He skimmed through it to find FuriousTentacles playing along with the older people.

He couldn't help but question Tentacles, _don't you have school today?_ And Tentacles started typing directly. 

_Yea, but I don't really focus on an online class._ Gon related to that, but he was wondering how tentacles could just skip or ignore a session easily to play with college people like it is too normal for him. There wasn't any presence of Electrified, so he assumed the latter is attending his class. 

_Your timezone looks close to mine though!_ Gon typed again, eating a generous bite of his omelet. 

_Ig? What's the time for you now?_ FuriousTentacles asked, replying to other players as well while playing.

_11:35_ Gon texted while playing with his fork and food. He waited slightly before he received a reply since Tentacles was obviously busy playing.

_12:35 for us._ Tentacles replied and the conversation died down. It didn't matter because Gon had to get ready for his next class anyway. He couldn't deny the happiness of his inner self that there isn't that much time between them.

°•~~~•°

"Adolf Hitler was a German politician and leader of the Nazi Party. He rose to power as the chancellor of Germany in 1933 and then as Führer in 1934. During his dictatorship from 1933 to 1945, he initiated World War II in Europe by invading Poland on 1 September 1939." Gon recited his research to his history teacher, who directly cut Gon off to ask him a question.

_"And what do you think of Hitler, Freecss? His brain, his power, and the way he was defeated."_ He asked, looking at Gon through the screen.

The boy looked at his paper research, then back at his camera before he naively blurted, "His brains and power became nothing once he was defeated."

He could see the screens of his muted classmates laughing on their chairs at Gon's fast, uncalled-for, reply. The teacher's expression was blank, but he shimmered for Gon to continue. The hazel-eyed shrugged it off, reminding himself that it is the last period before he gets to lay down and be free. 

After sinking deep into Hitler's persona, Gon was excused to submit his assignment to the teacher, so he could ask someone else about other information. Gon strictly followed the instructions, submitting his research, then slumping on his desk chair tiredly. 

_"Mr. Isaac, why's Hitler so scary?"_ A student interrupted the speech, obviously trying to pass some time in a fun way. Gon stared at his screen, horrified after staring at his teacher's expression.

_"Because he had to meet people just like you all."_ The teacher let out a sigh once the student muted herself again. Gon was giggling so loud and blocking his camera with his finger. It was funny.

History time was like _History_. It was dull, slow, and boring. Once the time was up, everyone started leaving before Mr. Isaac could object or continue. Gon as well, rushed to log off before he gets called to stay for a bit. He sighed in relief when he saw the blank screen of signing in. 

Jumping off his seat, he did a few push-ups, raised his biceps with a grin, then ran down the stairs, then up the stairs again. "Finally."

He thought that he would lose the sense of movement in a bit, which scared him. Finally relaxing, Gon did his homework as fast as he could, then turned his eyes to his chores.

He couldn't help give his vibrating phone some attention, snatching it while going down the stairs for the living room. The discord was lively again, where Electrified was on and playing with FuriousTentacles and other players.

Gon was hooked to turn on his abandoned console, so he could play as well. Yesterday, at night, he played a board game with his aunt, which was extremely fun. They lasted until two in the morning if he could recall correctly, where Mito won several times through against one time of Gon winning. So, they were tired of brain damage after a long period of chess playing. 

They left everything to go to sleep. That's why Gon had the cleaning mission now. He was okay with it because he had a bonding moment after a long day of loneliness. 

Swiftly, Gon cleaned the board game and set it on the fireplace's shelf. He swept the ground, using the broom, spraying sterile in the air. Mito was probably getting ready to leave since the shuffling was getting louder up in her room.

He shrugged it off, getting a glazed donut from the pantry and flopping on the couch, a leg swung in the couch's arm. His phone was clutched in hand when Mito went down with her bag. "Gon! I'm leaving! Don't forget to clean what I told you about!"

"I already did, auntie! Just a bit and I'll be done with the kitchen too!" Yelled Gon, opening his social media to skim through the comments.

He wanted to post another picture of him, but a discord message flashed on his screen, interrupting his Instagram relaxation.

_'XDXDXD'_ Electrified sent. Gon cocked an eyebrow, pressing on the message to be presented in the game category.

_Ooooh, AmberJajanken is online. Fuck yes._ LeOreoTheLegend texted, and Gon wondered who that was. He typed ‘hi’ when he was caught online. LeOreoTheLegend replied directly after, _Play with us, Amber!_

_Do I know you? And yea ofc._ Texted Gon. _What game is y'all playing?_ He texted again, and he didn't know why his heart sunk. He's nervous? It's been quite a while since he played a game with online friends— strangers.

_Amber, LeOreo is my bf. I couldn't introduce you together before though. But, yea._ CrimsonEye texted, and Gon jumped in shock. Yeah, CrimsonEye is his classmate and best friend Kurapika. They are real friends, but Kurapika never told him that he had a boyfriend…

_Fr?! Why didn't you tell me before?!_ Gon furiously typed to get a sweatdrop emoticon from Kurapika.

_Didn't know how to introduce you both_. Kurapika replied.

_WHATEVER._ LeOreoTheLegend texted again, then continued to add _, So, Amber and CrimsonEye go to the same school huh. Take care of my bf for me, Amber._

Gon smiled, getting to know someone close is great. _Of course, he is my BFF after all._

_Wait, waaaat. Amber and Crimson are in the same school and BEST FRIENDS?!_ Electrified texted, making sure to emphasize how shocked he was. Gon felt a little irritated, but he knew that Electrified was going to get back to him at some point.

_Yeah, Amber is a really great person, electric._ Kurapika replied, trying to defend Gon.

_Oh, lol. I'd never guess you guys are friends. Crimson is way too cool for that dude._ Electrified texted sarcastically, and Gon had to make an appearance.

_Oh, well. You might be right. Crimson is the only one who didn't fall for me and chose to be a friend instead ;3_ Gon sarcastically texted, but he was indeed irritated. Trying to be cool and suggestive when in reality a nerve is popping up is hard.

_Ooooh. That's so gross. I could see you dancing and surrounded by thots._ Electrified replied again, but FuriousTantacles texted back, which stopped the fight before it started again. 

_Shut up, electric, or I'm stealing your chocolate once I see you again. No joke._ FuriousTentacles replied and Electrified started typing, stopped typing, then typed again to send a little affirmative message. _Got it, bitch._

Gon's lips were forming a pout. He could care less, but Electrified is giving him a hard time. _Tbh, all the 'thots' acted like you at the very beginning:9_ Gon texted, and he could swear that Electrified was fighting himself not to screw the life out of Gon. He could sense it over the screen.

_Amber, how about you play a match with Electrified in the newly released game, Decimate of Logic, to solve your childish fight in a nice way?_ FuriousTentacles texted, so Gon agreed because he's been dying to play that game, but as an extrovert, he didn't have the time…

Before COVID.

_Who wins the match gets to ask something from the other, but if you two fought again after that, then you are both kicked out temporarily._ CrimsonEye threatened, and Gon gulped. How did he forget that Kurapika has the Admin role?

_Alright. It is not like I want to fight with Electrified or anything, but he likes to be a pain in my 'ass.'_ Gon texted emphasizing the word ass to make it look kinkier, and Electrified replied.

_Duh, I have no interest in idiots._

_Oh? Then you're interested in me ;) because I'm not an idiot, but I'll still embrace your electric sparks._

_Shut up, Amber._ CrimsonEye texted. _Let's start the game._

Gon ran to his room after finishing his donut, powered his console, and turned on the game. He directly texted _I'm ready_.

He couldn't wait to ask Electrified to be friends. That's what he was gonna ask from him if he won.

°•~~~•°

_That was easy._ Electrified texted, making Gon sulk even harder. The players were wheezing as they viewed the game, specifying how they viewed Gon's defeat. No, they viewed how Electrified wiped the ground with Gon's face. _Where are you, Amber? Did the cat eat your tongue? XDxD or are you just shy, cutie?_

Gon frowned again, Electrified just used the same sentence he used against him the day of the fight. _You're lucky that I've never played the game before._ Gon texted back, still sulking as if he knew he'd live in hell.

_Ohhhh, excuses, excuses. I just beat your ass._ Electrified texted back, mockery was seeping through his text. To make it worse, he sent a smirk emoji, the mighty Lenny’s face.

Gon rolled his eyes, then replied. _Oh, daddy, my ass hurts so bad._

CrimsonEye, FuriousTentacles, LeOreoTheLegend were wheezing, pressing keyboards manically, and obviously laughing in texts in a variety of ways. 

LeOreo even typed, _Laughs in Spanish,_ just to make everything wholly embarrassing.

_You're such a big idiot. I'd rather die than be your daddy._ Electrified retorted, and the venom was high that Gon wheezed aloud.

_Of course, you can't. You can't top me tho._ Gon texted, a huge mocking grin was plastering on his face.

_‘Imagine Electrified is a buff man. Amber: OH NO’._ Someone new texted. The user's called BeautyGoddess. Gon's face heated up, and Electrified was typing.

_Bruh._ Is all Electrified sent.

_Alright, guys. Now, shut up and let Electric ask whatever he wants from Amber._ CrimsonEye texted, making Gon bite his lip nervously.

Five minutes of waiting, and Electrified still appears to be typing. Gon was getting bored as he waited, but his heart was still tense, and the suspense was killing him. Everyone was waiting, and Electrified was still typing.

Finally, he sent the text, and Gon read it aloud to absorb the information. "Amber should send a picture of himself in #General, noting how a big dummy dumb he is, and dying to be on a date."

Gon laughed, knocking his head backward as an idea popped into his head. Electrified was indeed trying to tease him, and also trying to feed his curiosity by knowing how Gon looks like. _Are you interested? Lol._ Gon deadpanned, the grin not leaving his face

_Ew, no. I didn't come up with a better punishment. That's to make you learn not to mess with others._ Electrified replied fast.

_Excuses~ but I gotchuuu~_ Gon texted back, and took his shirt off, knowing exactly what to do. Finally, torso naked, Gon got his marker, writing on his right built-up chest ' _Are you satisfied, electric? <3' _

It was messy, but everyone could read it with ease. He snapped a picture, making sure his well-defined abs and biceps are showing. Not to mention his smug grin as well. Nonetheless, he cropped half of his face, only to show his nose, mouth, and his sexy jawline. Gon loves himself. He raised his free arm to define his bicep in a sexy way, grinning smugly—Snap!

Looking at the snapshot thoroughly, he wore back his shirt and sent the picture in the #General. He typed the text Electrified asked him to, then attached the picture to it. _I'm a big dummy dumb, who needs a date ;(_

Of course, messages hammered down. Some people already understood the commotion, others were laughing, and others were asking Gon out; they're joking, Gon thought. 

CrimsonEye sent a laughing emoticon at the dare, but he didn't send any other thing. However, LeOreoTheLegend caps-locked his text. _BITCHES, LOOK AT HIS CHEST._

_It's everything I'm looking at <3 _ BeautyGoddess typed down, then texted a ‘lol’ afterward.

Members started typing down what Gon had written on his chest, laughing and mentioning Electrified to the #General.

_Fuck this shit I'm out…_ Electrified texted, turning offline, perhaps invisible, after the whole commotion. Gon was smirking way too hard that he was worried his jaw might break. Although he cropped his face to protect his identity, his body was enough to tease Electrified.

It was fun until it lasted, Gon was happy.

_Hey, Amber. What were you going to ask from Electric if you're the one who won?_ CrimsonEye, his dear friend, asked.

_I wanted him to be my friend, lol. To send me a friend request. Sadly, I failed._ Gon responded and several members aw-ed in reverse, sympathizing with Gon's good motives.

Recurrently, the fun time was exceeding with each day passing by. Gon was growing attached, unbelievably attached. He didn't notice how fond he had become during the span of a week, but Asteroids, the server, was addictive.

Gon didn't regret it. He was at the brisks of depression a week ago, but now he feels better. Even his aunt mentioned that and praised him for holding his sanity against the pandemic. So, Gon had to tell her about the server and his online friends.

She was glad, but she warned him about the consequences of common things, like every parent. He told her about Electrified and how he's being an ass to him, but he also explained that it was kinda his fault.

His aunt always listened to his rambling. Sometimes, he would be laying down, and she would be sifting through his hair. He loves his aunt so much, so much.

And like every morning, Gon gets up and looks at his phone. He just developed that bad habit that most of the teens have in 2020— waking up and opening the phone directly. It wasn't because he's obsessed with the server. He was actually ready to wake up on one of Electrified's paintings. 

That was his habit, to wake up and interpret one of his suffering, sad, and traumatizing paintings. It felt like a little bonding between the two, where Gon would go interpreting the painting, then wait for Electrified to tell him if he was true or not. Afterward, Gon gets his compliments down and notices Electrified's stumbles with his texts.

It was fun.

To see him embarrassed

Today's painting was a tree with a hole inside. Gon's head was still resting on his pillow, torso naked, listening to the knocking raindrops on his window. His focus was on the dull tree, leafless, dead, a hole inside, and a child hiding in it.

A child was clutching his legs, hiding his face in his lap, probably crying. It was raining in the painting, and the sky was grey. Gon's heart formed a knot, and he was clutching his phone tightly. _Is that how you feel, Electrified?_ Gon couldn't help but dig a little deeper.

He knew that Electric was feeling something, or he wouldn't have drawn this.

_Not every painting expresses how the artist feels. It is probably expressing a pain the artist has seen, Amber._

Gon hummed, trying to understand the hidden meaning inside Electrified words. _Ig… it is still ducking perfect that I'd die from astonishment_. Gon replied, sending hearts and lovely emoticons.

_Uh, ty, lol._ Electrified texted back. Gon had grown to know when Electrfied's texts are pissed, angry, or emotional. He always sought to see his embarrassed ones. It was easier to understand Electrified's texts now since Gon had an experience with that.

During the week, Gon also knew BeautyGoddess better, and FuriousTentacles was quite the cool human. He knew why Electrified was too attached to him. He's just one of the people who you shouldn't leave because they are a huge part of your life.

Everything went shattering when Gon remembered that Christmas Eve is two days away. His heart thumped, and his nerves trembled, but he tried ignoring it. He tried banishing these thoughts by sending a friend request to Electrified.

As shocking as a bird flying in winter, Electrified accepted the request the same minute. It looked like he was waiting for it, but Gon knew it was just a coincidence.

He stared at Elecrified’s name, flashing into his screen, and next to his profile, the tempting green dot. Gon’s lips were parted in amusement. Here it is, Electrified, resting in the list of his friends. Gon was extremely tempted to send him a message. Alas, he has to prepare for his morning routine before it is too late. Electrified didn’t text, so Gon took that as the opportunity to rush in the bathroom and get himself ready for the day. 

Like always, he was sat across from Mito, a plate of waffles before him. The aroma was endearing, tempting Gon to dig before showing his gratefulness. “Thank you, aunt Mito. It looks delicious.” Gon mumbled, inhaling the scent, clasping his hands, and mumbling his cheers. 

Mito only smiled and observed her boy. She was happy he’s doing okay now since he was on the verge of depression days ago. They started eating, and the clanking of forks and plates was the only sound in the background. It was held like that for minutes straight but didn’t last any longer when Mito decided to converse with her nephew. “How’s school?”

“Pretty good! I’ve been excelling like always, but I still got a problem with Math.” Gon said after gulping the contents in his mouth. He was smiling softly, playing with the rest of his food, and waiting for Mito to talk again. He knew it was just an introduction to what Mito wanted to talk about, so he waited patiently. 

“That’s great. I’d help you after the shift. It’s just so much work lately, and I can’t even hold the sleepiness once I come home.” Mito excused, cheeks blossoming in regret of how much she’s been ignoring Gon lately. 

“Ah, don’t sweat it. I’m fine. I would use the help of a classmate. Your health is a top priority.” Mumbled Gon, biting more of his waffles. “Also, I’m not really doing that bad tho. It is just not what I wanted.” 

Mito hummed, but she didn’t press the topic any longer. She was finally ready to talk about what she wanted in the first place, looking Gon straight in the eye. “You could go for a run today, just don’t come near town.” 

Gon’s eyes sparkled delightfully, like stars glimmering in the night. Mito smiled at his childish reaction, who suddenly lifted himself over the table to reach his aunt and engulf her in a warm hug. “Thank youuu! My muscles really wanted that!” 

Mito giggled, pushing Gon back into his seat and shaking her head. “I know that, and I don’t want you to lose any muscle and gain fat because of me. You worked out hard for that.” 

Gon grinned and nodded, rushing himself to eat his food and prepare for his online school. “Should I go and buy groceries today?” 

“No, no. I’ll bring what we need on my way home.” 

“Okay, just be careful.” Gon finalized, helping his aunt to take the empty plates into the sink, then rinsed them for her, so she could rest before her long shift. 

The rain battered the rooftop, colliding enormously and combining with the sound of trees’ swish and wind’s howl. Gon was busy typing down his answers since the time was tight and the exam was long. He cursed under his breath because he didn’t spend the whole night studying like always. Instead, he spent it talking on the server. He studied, but he knew it wasn’t enough. 

While submitting the exam at the last minute, his phone vibrated. He got a message, but he didn’t swerve his attention to it. Instead, he laid down in his chair, arms slumped and body arched. His vision was directed to the ceiling, so he closed his eyes tiredly. Classes today suck; that’s everything Gon could say about it. When his phone vibrated again, curiosity piqued him. He straightened his sitting position and clutched his phone. 

It was Electrified. 

Two messages. 

Gon gasped audibly, dramatically putting a hand on his heart. Excitement washed over him since he never expected Electrified to message him first. He looked at the silent zoom, students still submitting their work, so he flopped on his bed, unlocking his phone eagerly. 

_Hey._ The first message was a simple ‘hey,’ but it gave Gon a little goosebump. He was excited about talking to him, but he didn’t know why. _I was wondering if you want to play DoL because everyone is offline._ And the second message was simply an excuse. Gon stared at the message again, Electrified was obviously trying to talk, or maybe he’s really bored. 

_Remind me what DoL again?_ Gon texted, trying to make sure not to mess up this opportunity. He just wished not to sound nervous through the text. 

_Decimate of Logic…_ Electrified Replied. Gon let out a sigh, then snuck into his laptop’s screen. The teacher was obviously telling everyone to come back and get ready for the next class, which made Gon salty. He looked at Electrified’s text again, the green dot next to his name was still vibrant. 

_I’m still in class, but I really would like to play._ Gon bit his lower lip, trying to shake the temptation of spending alone time with Electrified. He was going to give up on it, but he saw Electrified typing. 

_Oh, I thought you got your winter break? We got ours like two days ago. I didn’t know tho._ Electrified continued to type, so Gon waited patiently. However, he felt so ecstatic to play now. _Apologies, ig._ Electrified sent.

Gon moaned in agony, flipping on his bed and looking at the text. There was no way he could play now. His thumbs gracefully touched the screen to type down his reply, but his lips were pursed, and he was already tired of his school. Their breaks and holidays are way too short. _Oh, don’t apologize! Hehe. I guess we can play after school. My winter break starts today, but it won’t last for too long. We could spend that together ;3_

Electrified typed fast, sending a vomiting emoji at first. _I forgot how cringy you are, but it’s fine. We could play after you’re done. I’ll go paint some shit._ Gon laughed happily and sent a heart with a laughing emoji. He couldn’t waste any time, so he left his phone on his disheveled bed to sit back on his desk and prepare for the next session. 

°•~~~•°

The hour tick-toked distinctly, and Gon was focusing on his class. His mind lost focus when he saw the first snow outside his window. His eyes widened, astonishment penetrated to his irises as they danced at the occurring scene. It was beautiful; the corners of the window slowly fogged, giving life to things. It looked like the window was breathing, fogging its corners beautifully under the little snow. Gon couldn’t wait to go outside, to be showered with the little white falling stars. He couldn’t wait to be showered in euphoria. 

Gladly remembering that Mito allowed him to go for a run, he promised himself to be under the sky till it reaches twilight. The teacher noticed his excitement through the screen, wondering if he was even listening to her. _“Gon, what was I talking about?”_

She observed Gon’s stumbling once she called out for him before he unmuted and grinned. “I don’t know, sorry. It’s snowing here!” He exclaimed, so the teacher shook her head. She smiled slightly at Gon’s ecstasy. Since the day Gon was registered into High School, he was taught Biology by this madam. She enjoyed Gon’s spirituality towards nature a lot, so whenever he does something like that, she just couldn’t get mad. 

_“Gon, focus!”_ She playfully yelled, so Gon laughed nervously, trying to ignore the white beads that just landed on his window. Everything was explained, and Gon was answering whenever it was his time to do an assignment. Nonetheless, the classes after lunch were extremely boring, so he had his phone under the desk, scrolling into the server’s messages. 

BeautyGoddess was talking about fashion in #General, and the members who answered were probably females, and Gon didn’t know any of them. He went to the gaming category where a few college members, including LeOreoTheLegend, were playing. It got him thinking about his age. He’s dating Kurapika, but he’s obviously older. Maybe that’s why Kurapika was hesitant about telling that to Gon. 

_LeOreo, how old are you?_ Gon texted, cutting the whole gaming talk randomly. LeOreo confirmed that he’s eighteen, so Gon texted again. _Oh, great. Crimson is going to be legal in 4 months ;)_

He giggled at everyone’s reaction, especially LeOreo’s who replied to Gon with a ‘bitch go get a life!’ It was extremely funny that Gon was laughing way too hard. He directly put his phone aside when his History Teacher yelled at him. _“Gon, make sure to write an essay about the Barbarians that’s no less than five thousand words. It’s as a punishment for not focusing.”_

Gon grumbled so loud, slumping his head down his desk. He begged Mr.Isaac not to do that, but it was finalized. “I beg you not! It’s CHRISTMAS!”

_“I need it to be submitted before tomorrow, clear??”_ Mr.Isaac said, so Gon pouted and crossed his arms objectively. He was sulking the whole session, trying to sneak and write his punishment during the session to save time. He knew that Mr.Isaac would’ve noticed already, but he didn’t bother with Gon. So, Gon took that as a chance to paraphrase some paragraphs from the wiki after pasting them into the assignment. 

He was done by the time the class ended, so he directly submitted it, goofily smiling at Mr.Isaacs irritated expression. Then, he logged out. Once set free from school, his winter break started. 

This also means that Christmas eve is two days away— his dad will visit in two days. Gon took in a sharp breath. He was nervous because his dad is supposed to be here at any moment. He went down the stairs, tucking his phone in his pocket and putting his AirPods in his ears while turning them on. He went to the kitchen, put the mask on, then snatched the keys. 

He’s finally going for a run after staying trapped at home for what seemed like a century. He warmed up at the front door, sliding the mask off his nose to breathe normally. There isn’t anyone here anyway, but he took the mask in case his aunt came home earlier. If she found out Gon got outside without a mask, then he’ll get out again but in his dreams.

He started walking, trotting, then finally adjusting to jogging. His purple hoodie clung tightly to his masculine frame as he jogged down the hill. He was going to take the woods’ route not to be bumped with anyone although he misses the neighbors a lot. 

The feeling of his sneakers ingrained in the soil calmed Gon’s spirits. Trees were everywhere. Some of them were still clothed in green, but little white like cream was on the top of each leaf. Other trees were naked, showing the artistry of fighting winter without branches, defenseless. Little snow penetrated through it, covering the nudeness of the tree with a blanket of white. Gon was looking around, his breath was fogged, but the one getting out of his lips was blocked by the mask. 

His flesh flourished because of the cold air, but since his body was worked up, the heat was revolving through. The ecstasy of getting outside again nibbled with his senses. Because of the cold, Gon’s cheeks nearly froze, and he couldn’t smell. The tip of his nose was freezing although all of his body was heated from the workout. The first snow didn’t fill the ground, instead, it had white dots here and there. White mixed with brown everywhere. It was incredible— the enjoyment of seasons. 

He had to stop next to his favorite lake to enjoy the scenery before it freezes like every winter. His ears were blasted by music, but he didn’t notice nor listen until the moment he sat down on a branch next to the lake. He took his phone out, decreasing the volume a little and looking at the server’s messages. 

_Ooooh! Amber is on!_ LeOreo caught Gon's attention again like every single time Gon turned online. _Where were you, dude?! Crimson’s here, but you weren’t on until now._ LeOreo texted, so Gon took the time to answer. He noticed that Electrified was texting beforehand, but he stopped when LeOreo mentioned the presence of Amber. 

_Oh, yeah. I’ve been running around and moving some limbs. I’m outside now._ Gon texted, explaining his absence in the #General. 

_This explains your biceps._ With a heart, BeautyGoddess texted. Then, she sent a blushing emoji. Before Gon could reply, Electrified sent the ‘rolling his eyes’ emoji as well.

_Oh, lol. Yeah. My biceps._ Gon mumbled, slightly blushing when he remembered what Electrified asked him to do prior. Everyone saw his naked torso. All he focused on that day was to tease Electrified, but now he regretted it because he knew how embarrassing it is for everyone to remind you of your ‘sexy’ body shape. 

_Amber sent a picture of him?!_ A new user, probably not new, texted. The marks expressed the shock of the user called SapphireEyedDoll, who started typing again. _Omg I missed it ;(_

Gon felt slightly uncomfortable when everyone expressed their interest in him. It wasn’t romantic, he thinks, but it is only the suspense of knowing who you are talking to. He made sure that the picture was deleted, so he wouldn’t attract any more attention. _Yea, it ain’t me, just a part of me. It was kind of a dare between me and Electrified._ Gon replied to Sapphire doll and she just sent a broken heart. 

He wonders who that is…

_Aight, guys. I gtg. I should be back before sunset, so Imma text yall when I’m home._ Gon texted, snapping a picture of the lake before him to send it. They were wow-ed by it like expected, even Electrified who sent him a reply. 

_I’d like to draw that._ He texted. So, Gon replied just as fast. _Can’t wait to see it from your perspective. I’m sure it’s gonna be lit._

With that, Gon tucked his phone into his pocket again, raising the volume of the music before trudging back home. The hike wasn’t bad this time, especially since Gon resumed his daily workout at home. The beauty of life slightly came back to him, but it wasn’t like before. He was satisfied with what he has. 

After the warm bath Gon had taken, he rested down on his bed with a content sigh. His day was eventful, indeed. He wished to live every day to the fullest until he dies. He didn’t feel like playing since his muscles were sore, so he laid on his back and unlocked the phone to message Electrified and apologize.

_Electric, I’m sorry I can’t play tonight. I’m extremely tired. But, I really wanna talk to you…_ Gon bit his lip at the message he sent. He didn’t want to sound like a creep. All he wanted was to befriend him because Electrified sounds so cool. 

He noticed that Electrified started typing, so he waited patiently. _Sure. I’m done playing anyway._ He texted. Gon beamed excitedly. He wanted to start off with introductions, but he wanted to make sure not to press Electrified about it. Not everyone trusts online peeps, and Electric seems that kind too. 

_Well, since you know about Crimson, I’ll introduce myself normally. I’m Gon and I’m seventeen. Ig Crimson told you that I live on a neighboring island to his? It’s called whale island._ Gon breathed out after he sent the intro. He kind of imagined what Electrified’s reply would be. 

_Bro… Don’t go telling everyone about your background like that. What if I was a creepy old man?_ Electrified texted. 

_You’re crimson’s friend tho…_ Gon Excused, slightly blushing at Electrified’s reprimanding text. 

_Yea… Name’s Killua and I’m seventeen as well… Just, you don’t really have to know anything else._ Electrified, no, Killua texted. He seemed uncomfortable sharing his background info, especially his location. However, Gon was fine with it. 

_I don’t really mind :3 Tentacles told me that your time is one hour different from mine, and this information is enough for me._ Gon reassured, so Killua sent a thumbs up to confirm Gon’s text. 

Gon didn’t know that this conversation would extend through the night. He didn’t know that they’ll enjoy their talk the whole way through. He didn’t know the one introduction is enough to build a friendship online.

Killua under the name Electrified is highly interesting.


	3. Christmas Spirits

The sound of giggles rang through the cold walls. Outside the window, beads of snow flickered on the glass. The magnificent glowing snow in the night sky sauntered on Gon's window, and the dim light in the room emitted through Gon's phone. 

He lost the track of time while talking to Electrified— or should he say Killua? From a topic to another, some are funny and some are sad. The boy behind his flashing screen was way too secretive, so Gon tried going to something more general to destroy any possible awkward moment. Nonetheless, he knew his name, his age, and the fact that he's living an hour away from Whale Island. It was enough. All of this was enough to let his imagination kick. 

_ Yeah, so tentacles snatched my chocolate and started running so fast. I swear my legs tangled when I tried to catch him.  _ Killua texted, a hint of humor plastered on his texts.  _ It's sad that we only share three days a week of in-land school. Sometimes, even those turn online. It sucks balls. _ Killua added, the tone in his text shifted a bit, but Gon was enjoying the talk.

_ I could imagine! Pika and I always bicker about stuff, but I don't remember pika stealing something from me. He's just too serious sometimes, rarely laughs, but I really enjoy his personality.  _ Gon texted back, a warm smile plastering on his face. The best-friends related talk. What a nice way to keep the conversation going. 

_ It is nice to have someone you trust around though. _ Killua replied, and Gon hummed audibly. He stared at his decorated room for Christmas. Little turned off light bulbs were all around his room. He couldn't wait for them to lighten the whole house, switching the autumn colors to wintry. To Christmas.

His dad is coming soon, and he couldn't wait for a little family-bonding on this holy holiday. His texts with Killua were distracting from his anxiety— anxious for what to come a minute after this minute and two minutes after this minute. 

_ You know something? Your sense of art is very unique. I sometimes wonder what is your main inspiration for your spectacular art. _ Gon let his thumbs type fast, and he allowed his autocorrect to correct his messy typos. He stared at the sentence, at the flow of his words, then clicked the arrow on his right. It was sent to the online Electrified in a hot second, and he directly spotted him typing.

_ Art is passion. I have a passion for it, and I do hope to get one, at least, of my paintings to be recognized. It is something I personally cherish. _ Killua texted, then started typing again.  _ My main inspiration is kinda chaotic. I don't know if I really should talk about it. _

Gon tilted his head at his screen, the room was dark, and the walls were cold around him. He tucked the blanket closer to his chest, sneaking the phone out to message.  _ You don't have to talk about it if it makes you uncomfortable. _

Killua typed. He typed for thirty seconds, making the raven-haired wait patiently. 

_ Thanks. It is just… I don't hate the fact that trauma inspired me. Each successful artist and author had a mental illness or something of the kind, so I'm grateful. To me, I faced something really bad in life that inspired my artist-me. Sounds cringe, stupid, and maybe weird. I try to reflect the suffering of me and someone close to me in my art. It's not like the suffering in the painting is exactly the same as mine in reality, but the hints of my feelings are drawn and kept inside.  _ Killua added  _ I love drawing about the inner fighting. I don't care what you are fighting yourself about as long as I can illustrate it. I love drawing about unachievable dreams, or the way you fight to achieve it. Cringe? _

Gon smiled and started typing.  _ Not in the slightest. I could see your passion for it through this text. Your message was passed through the paintings, so you're achieving that goal successfully. I could feel each emotion through each painting. You're amazing, Killua. _

Killua sent a direct text, probably weirded out, or that's what Gon thought.  _ Bruh, why are you so embarrassing? _

_ I'm just saying the truth. You're amazing, and I'm sure you have fans on the server. Perhaps, I'm one of them ;) _ Gon texted to receive a rolling-eyes emoji. Killua loves that, Gon thinks.  _ I'm also happy you're gaining strength from your weakness. Not everyone can do that! _

_ Yeah… IG.  _ Killua texted, sending a little emoticon along the way. Gon thought of it as a face puffing his cheeks…  _ :T _

He didn't know that the little talk encouraged Killua to pursue his dreams further. He didn't know about the loneliness the other was feeling while pursuing these dreams. Killua was grateful, and Gon didn't know about it.

Gon lost the track of time, talking to his new online friend for hours non-stop. Killua was very interesting, drawing a smile on Gon's lips and kicking the boredom away just by a few texts. What they were doing was just texting, but it was enough to make Gon entertained. He knew that talking to Killua would be entertaining.

He tried not to think of Killua as a source of entertainment, but it was the real reason why he started teasing Killua in the first place— to be entertained. 

He decided to get down to drink something, but he was too attached to his phone. He brought it down with him, getting down the stairs while texting the one, who was electrifying their peace ever since the very first day they talked. He clutched the fridge's door with a hand and tried to type with the other miserably.

_ Oh? So tentacles just threw you in the pool? XD holy shit. _ Gon typed and set down the sandwich on the countertop. He switched to eating after he saw the sandwich.  _ I'd pay a fortune to see you wet. _

Killua stopped typing and Gon bit his sandwich before he looked back at what he typed. He choked on the materials in his mouth when he understood his sentence.  _ Fuck. I didn't mean it like that damn. I meant soaked with water wit a pissed lok.  _ He hit his head on the counter when he noticed his typos. 

Why is he so hyper?

_ Ik, idiot. I'm not stupid. I understood. _ Killua texted. After trying not to make it awkward for hours, he just had to say something to destroy the mood. There wasn't any time to feel embarrassed, so he directly texted.

_ Oh, yeah. I was wondering if you'd be hella busy on Christmas. I'd love to play a match of Decimate of Logic if you have the time. _ Nice save, Gon flattered himself with a smile.

_ Yeah, it is not like I'd spend my WHOLE time with fam. That's ridiculous. But, tentacles might visit, so expect another player with us. _

_ YES. That's gotta be hella fun. Make sure to go easy on me, I'm still a newbie on that game. _

_ Ha ha. Figured. I still remember how I wiped the ground with ur face. Even your character looked hilarious xD _ Killua teased again, so Gon rolled his eyes. He was typing when his peace was interrupted by someone unlocking the door.

He turned around bewilderedly, going towards the front door to see his aunt. She was holding a few grocery bags, so Gon set his phone on the nearby table and helped her with them. "Why are you still up?"

"Uh…" Gon gave her a goofy grin before rushing to the kitchen. She followed silently, eyeing the turned on phone on the table.

She spotted a message,  _ I didn't mean to sound rude _ , but she tried not to pry. Setting the grocery down, she ordered Gon to wash his hands, then she took her mask off.

Gon did wash his hands and turned to his aunt, who was trying to avoid his gaze. "Auntie, is everything alright?"

"Did you go for a run today?" She changed the subject. 

"Um, yes. It was fun, and I took the woods' route." Gon helped her to arrange the ingredients, and Mito left to shower for cleanliness. It made Gon frown, so he took his phone, locked it, and sat down in the living room patiently. There was something, and he needed to know before heading to sleep.

After fifteen minutes sharp, his aunt went down with a towel and a silky gold rose pajama. She sat down next to Gon, who was daydreaming. He directly snapped off his trance at her presence, giving her a soft smile. He was nervous, especially since he wasn't used to the grim aura coming from his aunt.

"You should sleep, Gon." She mumbled, so Gon frowned. He decided not to press the subject and changed it to ask about his dad.

"Tomorrow's Christmas Eve. When's dad coming?" She looked away at Gon's question. Ah, so that's why she's upset.

"Well… the thing is…" She stuttered, so Gon frowned and straightened his sitting position. He knew what Mito was going to say. "He's not coming, Gon. Well, he said coronavirus is spreading too fast, and quarantine—"

"Excuses." Gon mumbled, standing up and running up the stairs. Mito didn't follow because she knew when Gon needed to be alone.

He excused himself  _ again _ by using Corona as a barrier. Gon's lips were trembling angrily, as he opened the door and shut it harshly.

His aunt downstairs flinched at the sound, letting out a trembling sigh. She didn't know what to do…

Once he settled in his room, he jumped on his bed, throwing the phone somewhere and hugging his pillow. He was trying so hard not to cry. He was holding the tears, and he succeeded like always. His aunt knocked lightly on the door, coming in sneakily to check up on her nephew, her abandoned-by-his-parents nephew. She kissed his forehead when he turned to her, smiling ruefully. When he didn't say a thing, she decided to leave, closing the door silently behind her.

Subsequently, when he nearly shut his eyes to sleep, he remembered that he was talking to Killua. It would be rude to suddenly disappear when it was their first time talking privately, so he decided to say Goodnight before going.

_ Hey, I have to sleep. Goodnight. _ Killua directly started typing. It looked like he was waiting for Gon to text back. Gon didn't even check if Killua sent him any unread messages. He wasn't in the mood to talk anymore.

It appeared that not only Gon started to understand Killua better, but also Killua looked like catching Gon's personality better.  _ Is something wrong? You don't have to answer if I'm intruding. _

The raven-haired directly texted back, eyes squinted in agony.  _ Nah, that's normal. I'm used to my family's drama, so don't worry. _ How Killua knew that Gon isn't in his normal mood: Gon used to send emoticons and emojis along with his goodnight on the server. Whenever he wanted to sleep, he'd send goodnight with a lot of hearts. He'd be  _ cheerful _ like his usual self.

This time, everything was plain, too serious, not so  _ Gon. _ Killua didn't push the topic. He's in no place to push it, but he decided to do something new.

_ Goodnight❤ _ He texted. Gon's eyes widened. Killua sent him a heart. It was a very little gesture, but it made Gon's heart flutter. Killua never used these emojis, ever. He's always sarcastic or too polite. It made Gon feel cared for. It expressed that Killua at least  _ cared. _

It was enough to make him smile, to sleep comfy. He didn't cry, but his heart was hurting. His Christmas Eve won't be good this year either...

°•~~~•°

Beep. Beep.

The clock beeped.

He shifted under the covers and groaned lightly, like a cat hissing under a lot of pressure. The sun didn't rise, or probably it did but was covered by the clouds. It was cold, but the heater in his room provided him with warmth.

He had to flip on his back, turning to his left to see the window. It was completely fogged by the snow. The Republic of Padokea is the place of blizzards in winter.

White like snow, his tufts are. He yawned lightly, turning to his right to spot his phone charging on his nightstand. He clutched it and unlocked it; he wanted to check if AmberJajanken commented on his latest painting. Gon. He didn't comment, nor send any messages. He felt something deep, maybe because he was used to a routine of waking up and finding some cute compliments that encourage his heart, but nothing?

Is he feeling upset? Killua wasn't sure.

He tossed his phone after locking it, sitting up and stretching. Laziness isn't allowed today, that's what his mom said.

Sliding his feet to graze the polyester carpeted floor, Killua let his slimy fingers dive into his curls, forcing his messy bangs backward. He let out a little squeak, tried to move more, and felt so grumpy since his morning routine was cut short for not replying to 'someone' and politely 'thanking' him for the compliments.

He finally was capable of standing on his feet, walking into his bathroom, and getting into his morning shower. Sliding down his sweatpants and taking off his turtleneck, he threw his boxers away on the ground, not worrying much because he has butlers to take care of the mess. He filled the tub, adding his favorite rose-scented materials to it, then adding soap. After it filled over the half, Killua sensed the heat with his toe, then put his leg inside and fully rested.

He allowed his muscles to relax, sighing audibly, and looking at the ceiling. Today's gonna be shitty because he has to spend half of it with family.

He sank into the tub, drowning his hair wet— his white hair. Killua's insecure because he's  _ different. _ He's seen people doing a face reveal before, and they were too confident, like Gon. He didn't fully send a face reveal, it was more likely a body reveal. Killua's face heated up at the memory of his smug grin, raising his arm like an athlete. Killua's first reaction was a shock.

He didn't expect a boy the same age as his to be this muscular. It's not like Killua's not the same, but not  _ this much. _ The memory didn't ignore the little detail on Gon's chest.  _ Are you satisfied, electric <3 _

"Ahh… Fuck that bitch." Killua's wet hands slid to his face, covering his blossoming face. He couldn't see anything from Gon's face aside from his grin and jawline, but how would Gon be so perfectly his type when he's so far away?!

He shouldn't jump to assumptions yet. It's only, almost, three weeks of Gon joining the server. He was brave enough to tease Killua like that, to destroy his solid picture in that server.

Killua the mean, who roasts anyone who comes his way. He's got a rival, unfortunately. Gon's suggestive way of getting back to him made him stumble hard. No one's ever that courageous to  _ flirt _ as a way of  _ getting back _ to someone. So, Killua was not used to this type of talk.

He even misgendered him, on purpose. Killua shook his head to clear it away because he didn't want to hate Gon just when he was able to forgive him. He embarrassed Killua when no one was able to do that to him before…

Killua sank deeper, letting his nose touch the surface of the water and allowing his knees to slit through the open air. Eventually, his thoughts were cut just when he knew it was the time to finish up his bath.

He scrubbed himself, took care of his soft curls, and drained the water of the tub. He had to wear something fast and get down to have breakfast with his family, his annoying family. 

Killua, the holiday hater.

He's never loved holidays, especially the ones that you get to spend with your family. It drains every drop of his life, especially as an extreme introvert.

He put on his velvety red with a zipper sweater and his pair of classic black pants, looking at himself in the mirror to dry the little wet curls. He wore his white socks, then put on his leather black flats. 

Once done clothing, someone knocked on his door. Just perfect how everyone is on time, very sharp. He turned with a blank expression, his lower lip a little droopy, and his cerulean clear eyes like a calm ocean staring at the door profoundly.

He didn't expect this day to be good, so he waited for the butler to usher him down to the dining room. Unexpectedly, once the door was slightly ajar, a flurry of wine-colored dress penetrated through the little space. Oh, his sister.

She peaked curiously inside and grinned once she was met with the soft grin on her big brother's face. "Big brother! You look so, so handsome!"

"Come in, Ka." He mumbled, turning back to his mirror to rearrange the messy tufts to his liking.

"Big brother, you're going to put on eyeliner today too?" Alluka, the fifteen years old trans-female in the family— with a flurry burgundy with several silky layers of dress, asked curiously. She was swinging herself on a leg each time, still close to the door. 

"No, no. I did that the last holiday to tease my family— those homophobic bitches." Killua sarcastically replied, combing his bangs. "As much as I'd love to see them suffering while eating breakfast, I'm not intending to destroy this holiday for you, Ka."

Alluka smiled softly, looking down at her hands, her twiddling fingers. She genuinely feels happy around her brother, ecstatic for every coming moment she spends with him. "I brought you the best Christmas gift!"

"Oh, I can't wait to open it!" Killua finally turned with a passionate grin, irises alive with love and care. "But, let's keep it until dinner, okay?"

"Sure! Let's go! The family's waiting and they sent me to bring you down instead of a butler, so you wouldn't be all grumpy in a morning like this." Alluka explained with a tuneful giggle, which made Killua chuckle along.

"They know me too well. Let's go, sis— before they slaughter us and eat us at dinner." Alluka giggled again, taking her brother's extended hand and walking down from the second floor to the first, where the dining room was filled with other family members.

They passed through the never-ending hallway, finally reaching the grand stairs. They were hand in hand, walking down the stairs. Above them, the chandelier dangled down, very old and historic. The candles stuck on it weren't lit since the butlers always lit it at the twilight time only.

Very luxurious, it makes Killua sick.

"Master Killua," the head butler, Gotoh, bowed professionally. "Mistress Alluka." He mumbled again until both of them passed by him towards the dining room.

Both of them mumbled once they were close enough to him.  _ "Hello, Gotoh." _ Then, they went towards the huge mahogany doors.

Killua opened it wide to see his family members sat and ready. They eyed the last two members, where both of them walked to their designated seats. The fireplace nearby was lit, so the only sound was the crackling sound of the wood inside.

The long royalistic table was placed under the golden chandelier, the candles of it were lightened up as well. It was dark because of the dark burgundy colors of the walls, golden strings were carved on the walls with formalistic shapes. They really like changing everything and applying holiday themes to the whole mansion.

The sapphire irises finally settled on the table, the contents of the table, where everyone was waiting for the clock to hit eight sharp, so they could start eating. The table was full of pancakes, bagels, lobster frittata, bacon bling, egg omelets, and more.

It looks normal, extremely. What every normal family eats, like pancakes!

Except, the pancakes are layered with lobster, caviar, and truffles, finished with Dom Perignon Rose hollandaise sauce. What about a little normal cheap bagel? The one everyone puts a couple of dollars on-the-go for it. Except, the chef has whipped together an Alba white truffle cream cheese to top a plain bagel, along with Goji berry-infused Riesling jelly and—get this—gold leaves. The bagel that was worth a couple of dollars is now worth a couple of thousands.

And it is rude not to mention the cheap eggs frittata that everyone likes to taste. In the zoldyck family, it's not that expensive either, just a couple of thousand dollars as well. It is made with one pound of lobster and perched atop a bed of fried potatoes, blows that notion out of the water. And caviar!

That's not all, but Killua has no chef degree to scrutinize all the displayed plates. He only asks for the ones he likes and favors amongst all the tasty, not so repetitive, dishes and cuisines. It is just breakfast, so Killua is sure he needs a workout after.

The clock rang aloud, that old rustic sound from the 80s. Ding, Ding, Ding…

Everyone clutched their silverware, including knives, forks, and everything they needed to start the meal in mind. Butlers walked forward to fill their plates with what they desire. They weren't marching, but to Killua, it felt like butlers had their own marching walk style. Head high like a peacock, an arm with a towel to the front of the tummy, the other was behind their backs. Snobby, very.

At eight-thirty, everyone was wiping their lips with the little embroidered handkerchief. Finally, the silent breakfast is done successfully, mission complete. Everyone stood up to leave for their day. But, today, a little different thing this morning, everyone said, "Merry Christmas." Like a corpse. Killua was getting grumpier as well.

In the end, he was finally free to go, so he went back to his room— the only room that wasn't as royal as the whole mansion. He had some modern taste, snapped it from his periodicals; they were stacked here or there in his room.

In the corner of his room, next to the window, stood his easel. It was made of fine dark wood, but big blotches of his paint-stained it. To Killua, that is art. To others, he needs to clean those blotches. He sat on the wooden stool right after he chose a middle square-sized canvas to steady it on the easel. He made sure it was fixated, then he grabbed his paints and his favorite palette. 

His favorite Pébéo acrylic paint rested on a wooden staged box, so he could easily take any to pour down on his palette, then he sprayed countable droplets of water as if spraying the dust away from the canvas. He took blue, mixed it with black, to start with a starless night sky…

He stared at his fresh painted canvas, lips were hugged together like a kiss. He was just in his focus zone, making a rectangle of his thumbs and pointer fingers to make sure he didn't miss or miscolor any angle. He smiled, taking his phone to snap a picture. Gladly, his new clothes weren't blotched, or his mom would've killed him. It was worth the risk, not to wear his white mottled robe.

A swing was fallen from the moon, where a dark silhouette of a boy sitting on it and swinging. Under the swing was nothing but darkness and above the swing was the starless sky with a huge moon and thin strings coming down off the sky-moon and clutching the swing.

Killua felt something towards this. It talks about the painting. He sent the picture in the art category, #Art channel, waiting patiently for  _ someone _ as in  _ AmberJajanken _ , or anyone in general to comment.

He loved the comments of Amber, where he always tries to get deeper into his painting, to analyze, to conclude. He's done with  _ Wow, amazing! _ Or,  _ I can't draw a tree, wow.  _ He knows. As cocky as it sounds to be, he knows that they can't draw for life. 

_ He wants more of those analyses Gon does. _

Gon wasn't on at all. Killua succumbed to the assumption of Gon spending Christmas with family because not only him wasn't on, but most of his friends in discord.

Only BeautyGoddess was screaming for anyone's attention in #General, but of course, Killua ignored. 

He didn't really care about everyone disappearing, but he was just expecting Gon to be online because they promised to play Decimate of Logic together— that's why. It is not like he cares or anything, he's just bored.

Succumbing to Christmas once again, he went down the hall to the first floor, but this time, to the living room. Yay, family bonding time.

Fuck, yes… Killua wishes to die before he reaches the living room doors.

Alas, that's just a wish. It won't work.

This day, the family tends to decorate the Christmas tree together, to bond, and be together.

He stared at his family with an unamused look, the only one who melted his heart was Alluka. She looked like a doll, sitting on the burgundy leather sofa with a pure grin on her glistening lips. She was wearing a Santa red hat with a little white ball of wool dangling out from it.

She ran, hugged her precious sibling, and forced him to sway together above the  _ 17th Century Antique Persian Carpet _ . His father stared at them nonchalantly, preparing the box of decorations and setting it down on a table next to the natural Noble Fir tree. His parents chose this one this year because of its strong fragrance.

"Killua, what do you want to do for this year's Christmas?" Suddenly, Illumi interrupted the peace of his LGBTQ siblings just to ask his albino brother about his wishes for Christmas.

"I can't wait for this to end, so please make it quick," Killua mumbled sarcastically, but Illumi's expression remained blank. Killua couldn't take him seriously with a Santa's hat anyway.

While they were upon decorating the living room, adding the settings of Christmas on it, and talking, Killua snuck several times to the corner, clutching his phone to see if he got any  _ interesting _ comments or messages of discord. However, who makes these comments interesting isn't found, so the zoldyck teenager grumbled, then tucked his phone into his pocket again. 

Gon's never showed up neither on discord nor on his private chat, but that's okay. This hell is going to end soon. Once resting near the fireplace, watching his sister and little brother fighting over a Christmas ornament, Killua clutched his phone again and typed a little message.

_ Merry Christmas, idiot. _ Killua sent, puffing his cheeks. He finally mentally admitted that he's a little worried. Yesterday, when Gon turned offline all of a sudden, then came back completely different. He was upset, drained, and sad. Killua was able to feel Gon's depression through the screen.  _ I'm used to my family's drama _ . That's what Gon texted, which alerted the albino so much. If Gon didn't say that, Killua would've thought it was his fault for messing with him abou the game again. He just wishes there isn't any drama going on with his friends when he's living in all of that luxury as if no one else was living around.

"Killu, invite Ikalgo and his grandmother. They would honor us to have Christmas Eve together." Illumi instructed, so Killua raised his eyebrow, deadpanning his older brother. It was enough for Illumi to surrender and explain. "Father personally invited Mrs. Carson over, but she didn't confirm the invitation. Talk to your friend to confirm it."

Killua rolled his eyes, staring up and down at his brother's black like his eyes suit, grumbling then pressing himself harder to the wall. "Y'all just care about business."

"Don't you want to spend the day with Ikalgo?"

"Fine. Damn. I'll call him."

"Good." With that, Illumi left, giving Killua enough space to search Ikalgo's contact and press call.

He waited patiently until Ikalgo picked up.  _ "Ohh, someone misses me?" _

Killua groaned, "Fuck, yes. Come here and rescue me from this hell."

He heard his best friend laughing for a solid second.  _ "That's a way to describe the fun spent with family at Christmas." _

Killua went out of the living room for a clearer and more peaceful atmosphere, towards the dark historic, carpeted, hallway. "Yeah, damn. Very fun. Father invited your granny to spend Christmas eve with us. Convince her because she didn't confirm it, and come for my rescue, I beg."

_ "Fine, calm down. She was preparing herself for the visit, me too. We are heading towards your mansion in a few. I'm just uncomfortable about this partnership between our families, yanno?" _ Ikalgo said between the shuffles. He was multitasking like always— talking to Killua while doing something else.

"Me neither. Whatever happens, you've gotta stay my ' _ bee es ef'  _ forever, okay?"

_ "Ew, Killua whatta fuck."  _ They laughed idiotically together at their cringe moment. Killua seldom uses abbreviations in his verbal talk, but when he does, it turns to cringe in the other's ears. Torture, but Killua enjoys it.

"Don't be late."

_ "On my way, bestie." _

°•~~~•°

"So, he saw me playing with college students. He was obviously confused about why I easily skip classes." Ikalgo murmured in a corner, chuckling into Killua's ear, who was silently smiling. "He was able to make me slip my time. We are an hour apart in time." He continued.

"That's why he knew about that. I see…" Killua murmured back, diving his hand into Ikalgo's pastel pink hair. "Fucking pastel pink looks great on you, bitch. Don't dye it in another color again. I nearly vomited at that bright lime green."

Ikalgo snorted, attracting Milluki's and Illumi's look to them. They directly shut up and waited for Killua's siblings to look away. Once they returned their attention to the business-Christmas talk, Killua turned with a smile to Ikalgo.

He opened his palm with a smirk, making Ikalgo sweat knowingly. "I and Amber are friends. Hand over the fifty bucks." Killua said with a solid mocking tone.

"Oh, man. You're a liar. For real?!" Ikalgo half yelled, in a murmur, looking unbelievably at his friend.

"Yes, he sent me a request and I accepted it. We've talked a lot yesterday too. His name's Gon."

"Fuck. I thought you hated him." Ikalgo whined and Killua pushed his palm into his chest with a smirk. 

"The fifty bucks."

"Fuck you, fine." He took the fifty dollars off his wallet, putting it into Killua's palm and sticking his tongue out. "Remind me not to make dares with you again."

Killua laughed mockingly, more like mocking-seductive-sarcastic, and stuck his tongue to his best friend as well. "Told you, but you never listen."

"So, are you blocking him now?" Ikalgo said, accepting the cookie from the butler.

"I'm not a jerk—" Ikalgo turned sternly at Killua who rolled his eyes. "—ok fine, I can be one. But, he's not a bad man, though. He's bearable."

"Says the one who smashes with muscular men from time to time. He's definitely your type, liar."

Killua rolled his eyes, looking at the Christmas tree silently. 

"Where is he anyway?"

"Not available, I think. He wasn't online at all today."

Ikalgo smirked, tilting his head with a smug grin. It made Killua shiver although he didn't look at him, not quite. "Ooh~ were you stalking?"

"What? No. But. I'm used to him commenting shit about my paintings."

"Killua, every member does that when you post something."

"Yeah, just not interpreting the meaning."

"Ok, understood." Ikalgo and Killua were leaning against the wall, next to the dark corner, talking faintly like a cult, but everyone didn't pay them much attention because they are used to that. "He's sexy tho. I was shocked when he sent a picture of himself torso naked along with your  _ username. _ " Ikalgo said the last word in a pleasurable tremble tone, so Killua punched his shoulder. "Ah! Don't forget that messy heart.  _ Are you satisfieddd? _ " Ikalgo giggled when Killua's cheeks flushed in red.

He knew Killua was going to bitch slap him so hard, so he directly jumped a few feet away. He laughed so hard, again, attracting a few looks.

"I regret asking that from him. I didn't expect him to do this, to be like  _ this. _ " Killua said, leaning back against the wall, Ikalgo joined back after.

"Like  _ what." _ The pastel pink-haired teased again. His smirk was agonizing to Killua, who morosely stared at him.

"Like  _ thissss." _ Killua modeled a few muscular poses, which got Ikalgo laughing to the ground. 

_ "Killuaaaa stooop. You're killing meee." _ Ikalgo yelled-murmured, but Illumi just joined their conversation short when he saw his brother doing weird poses.

Ikalgo's hefty laughs decreased, but he couldn't just stop laughing. "I want to laugh too, what are you talking about?" Illumi interrupted.

"Ill-ni? Laughing? No. I don't want to be traumatized." Killua said, making a cross with his fingers to make the boy on the ground wheeze again. Illumi just stared at his brother, not offended at all.

"Join us, boys," Illumi commanded and the two of them were escorted by Illumi to the family.

They sat on the sofa, Killua next to Alluka, and Ikalgo between Killua and Illumi. Obviously, they were talking about the partnership.

It bore Killua to the core, who snuck some conversations between him and Ikalgo. They were murmuring about Decimate of Logic, but Killua was absentmindedly checking his phone for notifications.

Ikalgo was smirking at him, but Killua didn't notice. He wondered how far their friendship went in one day of private chatting. He didn't bother because he knows his friend, too secretive about his other relations.

In Killua's mind, was the last bit of yesterday. It looked weird, serious. Killua shrugged it off. He has Ikalgo to distract him from this holiday, so he shouldn't be scared about spending all of his time with family. 


	4. Amourous Connection

_"Kago!"_ _Like a child of an angel, Killua ran out of the previously locked room to hug his rescuer tightly. His white slumped curls bumped into Ikalgo's pinkish turtleneck, sniffling and nuzzling into the older. His soft nuzzle, adequate touches, and lithe figure swayed the core of Ikalgo, who swung their bodies together and ignored the parental figure adjacent to them. Once left alone, Ikalgo patted Killua's head and waited for the child to wipe his tears, but Killua was sobbing and biting his lip, incapable of stopping the tears alone. It seemed as if Killua hated himself for crying in front of his friend. "Th-Thank you." He stuttered, faintly mumbling the appreciation and looking down at his white Nike shoes instead of connecting their gazes._

_Ikalgo's eyes softened, lips stretching into a minuscule smile. He, for another time, appreciates himself because of Killua. His friend always let him feel like the hero of his story, of Killua's story. It was euphoric, ecstasy was a world Ikalgo lived in for several mighty seconds. His ecstasy drew a fog, a blush, on his cheeks—an exciting blush. "Don't mention it, Killu! I'm always here to rescue you." The tone that escaped his thin lips showed his tenderness towards the other, who repaid it with a sniffle._

_That tone seemed to help the younger, who finally managed to avert his sapphires to interlock with Ikalgo's ash-like irises. Killua seemed embarrassed, so Ikalgo reassured him with a confident smile; it implied that no one will ever know about that sensitive moment. It showed Killua that his secret is buried deep inside Ikalgo's heart. The parental figure that was soon gone like a lonesome silhouette, dark like dirt, and hard like rocks. They only gave Killua the pain, so Ikalgo wanted to be his soft side, rescuing him from punishment whenever he had to visit. The long staring contest was soon cut off by Killua, who fumbled with his ivory, pale fingers nervously. What a habit he had possessed because of his anxiety. Hence, Ikalgo knew he had to listen to the upcoming vent as a minor stammer. "When, when we are older, can we leave this place together?"_

_It shocked Ikalgo beyond reality when his little rebellious friend wasn't done with his actions, even when his family punished him daily. Killua was strong, and Ikalgo was envious. Nonetheless, the little request riled him up with ecstasy. Killua seldom shows vulnerability although he's still a child. When he did ask Ikalgo that unforeseen request, showing all the vulnerability within, Ikalgo was joyous. He didn't hesitate to take the hero part again, to offer the safety of his heart to those who needed him the most. "Of course! I will buy an apartment and we can be roommates like those adults! I will take care of you because I'm older."_

_Killua smiled, shrugging off, and his smile didn't waver for a while. They've grown to become best friends ever since their parents met in a business meeting—business affairs brought them together. Ikalgo had lost his family in a car accident, or that's what they said, transferring all the money to the only Carson adult in the family—Ikalgo's grandmother. He didn't have any siblings, and his grandmother was homeschooling him. That's why when he met Killua, he was protective over him, especially when he noticed that Killua's older brothers weren't that soft with him._

_He wondered how they couldn't understand the bliss of having a sibling. They wouldn't understand how lonely it gets without one. They say that they fight with each other and it is better to be the only child, but false. Fighting with siblings is what makes them siblings._

_"Be my brother, Killua! I will protect you always!" Ikalgo chanted, cheeks firing in embarrassment once Killua stared at him wide-eyed. "Brofriends!" He chanted again, but it started to become more awkward. It startled Ikalgo, who shed a sweat worth a gram of meat, but it wasn't that obvious._

_What broke that awkwardness was Killua's little chuckle, showing his cute dimples. "I agree if you accept Alluka too. He is a baby, but I am not a bad brother to forget about him."_

_Ikalgo's grin was even wider, fisting the air excitedly. Again, ecstasy. Oh, how much he loves the longing feeling of belonging. He finally had someone to look up to, someone he belongs to, but not restricted with. "YES! I have two brothers now! I'm so happy!!!" Without further ado, he suddenly left Killua and ran to his granny, telling her how he got two brothers today. Cheeks as maroon as a cherry, eyes as joyous as an angel in heaven, and a grin as wide and ethereal as a lightened moon in the sky. "Yes! Killua and Alluka! My brothers!" He told his grandmother purely, proudly, and joyously, unafraid of any obstacle, or any hatred._

_During their aging, they stopped using brother as a word. They started using nicknames, mostly funny or insulting in a way, but they were still mistaken for being a couple. They never cared because what they had was something very special. Probably, a connection from another world. It wasn't love, but it wasn't brotherhood either. It was something that drew them together under the name best friends—Passionate best friends, true best friends. So, whenever someone thinks they're a couple, they'd just smirk and kiss each other before saying 'no we aren't.'_

_It was fun teasing the whole school, especially when Killua came out as gay and started to get bullied. Ikalgo had to be the one to stay by his side, always, ever since he asked his grandmother to register him in Killua's high school. Alas, Killua developed some quality hatred for homophobic people, including but not restricted to his family._

_Friendship, as similar as it could be for a romantic relationship, Ikalgo knew that no one could take his place in Killua's heart. So, it was incredible to feel someone protecting your back. Back to back, Ikalgo and Killua supported the other._

°•~~~•°

"Pssst." Killua nudged his bestie sneakily to murmur into his ear. He was unaware of Ikalgo's daydreaming. "Let's sneak away once they get up and observe the Christmas tree!"

The pink-haired was overall unhappy about the huffing, especially that he had a sensitive ear. It upset him to see his bestie do that when he's supposed to know what irritated Ikalgo the most. Maybe he's doing that on purpose? Ikalgo never knew, so he attempted a shiver, a disgusting shiver. He, then, glared at Killua, raising his three longest fingers. "Put three miles between you and me, bitch. Corona! CO RO NA." Ikalgo murmured into Killua's ear, who puffed his cheeks and glared at his friend.

"Are you implying that I am corona?" Killua didn't hesitate to flip to his dramatic self once he got the opportunity, so he put his hand on his heart, feigning a frown at Ikalgo. The older dropped his lower lip, showing his grief. "What an insult! Piece of fuckkk!" Killua murmured in a yelling tone, which got Ikalgo to choke in laughter for a second—emphasizing the slur was something Killua used to do when he’s annoyed. They shouldn't interrupt the business talk, but who would talk about business on a Christmas holiday? Yes, the Zoldycks. Killua was doing faces at Ikalgo, who utterly ignored him. However, he was hilariously smiling from spotting some of Killua's faces by the corners of his eyes.

"I'm not likely interested in investing my money in building a nightclub, Mr.Zoldyck. I understand it makes a lot of money, but I'm not intending to commit a sin like that." Mrs.Carson debated, professionally sipping her cocoa. "You know how traditional my mind is." Oh, yes. Traditions. Ikalgo was never raised on that, but his grandmother is using traditions as a mirror of her business. It is like, choose a personality and stick with it in your business—that's Mrs.Carson's personality. Traditions.

In contrast, Silva let out a formal sigh, that Killua tried imitating ever since his early preteen but failed miserably, then squinted his deep, frightening sapphire irises to blend with the fire in the background. "I would like to continue convincing you over it."

They blabbered, but Ikalgo never paid any attention. Once he yawned, he sensed Killua's teasing nudge, so Ikalgo nudged back. Sadly, they stopped when Illumi eyed them. Those empty eyes scared Ikalgo to the core. He wondered how Killua manages to live in the same mansion as those creeps, but no one dares to speak wrong with the Zoldycks. He won't risk his friendship anyway, so he has to keep quiet and obey if he wants to stay by Killua's side.

On the other perspective, the candles danced above the chandelier due to the little breeze escaping from the chimney. Although the fireplace was lit, it was easy to feel sudden chills. There was a calmness to sitting in the dark, little chattering of familiar presences. Killua felt content as he closed his eyes, listening beyond the chatter—to his existence. His moment of peace was cut off when someone nudged him again. Ikalgo, who observed Killua ever since he started his moment of peace, interjected to alert. “Killua! They’re going to the Christmas tree in a minute, be ready to sneak away.” Ikalgo murmured, so Killua nodded dazedly. 

On the other hand, Silva contagiously chuckled at Mrs.Carson’s humor, the one that Killua couldn’t catch nor Ikalgo could comprehend, and it sounded evil instead of an amused laugh. His eyes always crinkle at the corners when he laughs, and to Killua, it was easy to spot the venom within. His laugh was humorless to which it could turn frightening—it all depends on the situation, however. “You’re right, Mrs.Carson. That’s why we are spending Christmas indoors, but I’m sure COVID is just a global lie.”

“I’m not sure, but the number of sick people is too fake to me.” Mrs.Carson said again, still in her stiff professional sitting position ever since they came through the front doors. Killua sometimes wonders how Ikalgo is happy living with her. He turned to look at his father, who was replying to Mrs.Carson and asking his mother about her opinion. And, damn. When his mom talks, she never shuts up—both Ikalgo and Killua agreed on that.

“I think we should be careful in case it wasn’t fake. I don’t want anyone to be sick. How about we change this depressing topic and check the neatly decorated Christmas tree? Mrs.Carson must like those goldish ornaments that we specifically requested.” Kikyo and Silva had that deep connection, business. When Silva asks Kikyo to express her opinion, there should be a purpose. 

Killua rolled his eyes, then turned to Ikalgo, noticing his knowing smile. Finally, just little moments and they will leave that hell. Every Christmas, Killua's family has to brag about expensive Christmas shit, but that’s always the best time to sneak out. 

“I like this.” Mrs.Carson touched one of the ornaments, asking about its origin, or who crafted it for the Zoldycks. Killua was looking at them as they talked and explained, bragging here and there about the Zoldycks’ endless money. 

His attention was soon cut when Ikalgo grasped his wrist, pulling him up and ushering him to the doors. Killua followed silently, staring behind him to see Alluka piercing her soft gaze on them. She smiled affectionately and acted as if she didn’t see them sneaking away. Oh, how much Killua loves her.

Subsequently, Killua turned to look at Ikalgo. They opened the huge mahogany doors as stealthily, shivering at the light squeak, then rushing outside before anyone could notice. It is not like they’ll leave the whole mansion, only the hell of that living room. Finally, they were face to face with the carpeted burgundy hallway, hung candles aligned its walls. They sighed in relief, staring at each other with a goofy grin. “Run,” Ikalgo instructed, running all together with Killua towards the grand stairs. 

They were guffawing at their childish actions while running up the stairs although they were mature seventeen years old, they’re one of a kind. “What should we do?” Killua asked while unlocking the door of his room. He eyed the pink-haired, who was leaning on the wall next to Killua. They weren't even breathless.

“Anything. Just anything that excludes Christmas.” Ikalgo said tiredly, dramatic all the way through. They have the fun of Christmas when they do things against the rules, which is the only reason that excites them whenever Christmas comes by. “I wonder what should we do to disturb your brothers this year.” He evilly said, making the albino chuckle aloud. They came inside the modern room, shutting the door behind them and running towards Killua’s abandoned console. 

“I already have an idea to irritate the shit out of Ill-ni,” Killua said, sitting on the baby blue polyester carpet, soon, Ikalgo powered on the console and sat down next to his bestie. “Shall we ask if someone wanna tag along?” Once they rested, Killua blurted. He wanted to make sure if _someone_ still wanted to play with them…

“Oh? You already have plans?” Ikalgo smirked, interrogating his friend knowingly. He knew what Killua was implying, especially when his cheeks reddened at Ikalgo’s accusing gaze. 

“No? The more the merrier, that’s that…” Killua said, avoiding all the attention that Ikalgo threw at him. They relaxed on the ground mutely for a deep second. Killua’s black pants bumped with Ikalgo’s white jeans. “I’ll ask.” He directly stopped the subject from extending by unlocking his phone and clicking on discord. He hoped that Gon replied to him, but nothing. On the other hand, Killua could sense Ikalgo prying over his shoulder to look at Killua’s text. 

_Tentacles and I are going to play DoL, who wanna tag along?_ Killua bit his lip, waiting patiently, yet his patience was so little. The atmosphere to him was suffocating, especially when BeautyGoddess started typing. Killua waited to receive her reply although it wasn’t the person he waited for. Ikalgo put a supporting hand on his shoulder, which made him notice how slumped they were. 

_I’m so bored, Imma join._ She texted. Killua texted back, telling her the instructions of their gameplay, then joined together.

"So? Who'll be the leader?" Ikalgo asked, then looked at the discord channel to see BeautyGoddess is dying to be the leader, spamming their shit. "Well, I think we gotta resign for her."

"We're going to lose." Killua pouted, muttering slowly, which made his best friend chuckle. "I hate losing."

"I wish Gon was here, so when you lose, he could ask you to snap a picture of yourself as you did to him." Ikalgo teased, but Killua didn't show any emotion. He pursed his lips when Killua maintained a straight posture, muttering before he joined the game. "Your straight face does NOT suit your gay persona. Get rid of that and blush."

Killua's lips twitched, eyeing his friend sarcastically with a manly grin. Ikalgo raised an eyebrow, sulking deeper, then rolling his eyes. He ignored Killua's teasing smile to focus on the game ahead. Winning is everything they crave in this game.

To win in the Decimate of Logic, you have to collect relics from the woods of Selvadoria temple, then attach the biggest relic in your team's spot to win. The relics are limited, so the two teams should be fast at collecting, and since they joined as a team of three, their enemy of three should be professionals. Hence, teams seldom play as three because it is too hard.

BeautyGoddess was running around, nothing planned, no teamwork. In contrast, Ikalgo and Killua were ushering each other to search for different places. "Take right, and I'll take the left," Killua mumbled, receiving a slight nod from Ikalgo.

Killua's character had neck-length bright red hair, tan skin, and his clothes were all about belts. It was cool, and Killua loves it that way. His character was running at the highest pace, and the sounds of canaries, monkeys, and frogs were erupting from the stereos. The woods looked too real since the graphics were set to full HD, and Killua was already drowned in the long wet leaves, looking damp soil, and animals all around his huge sized TV. "You better not miss any relic, bitch." Killua mumbled, focusing on his screen as the screen was split in half between him and Ikalgo. 

"Say that to yourself."

Some of these rare relics were hiding between the dark green bushes, where Killua had to duck down to catch them. They were all about a crystal skull, red crystal eyes with blue diamonds as teeth. Those can be changed by purchasing a new theme. Killua always noted this information because he wanted his guild, especially his team to be the strongest—he's the rich leader anyway.

"Ahhhh! BeautyGoddess lost three relics, DAMMIT." Ikalgo slapped his palm on his face, making Killua sulk harder at BeautyGoddess's fool play. She was defeated in the arena after meeting one of their enemies, and they took all of her relics.

The arena. It is the worst action that is held against a relic holder. The holder can lose all of their relics along with their stamina if they faced the rival team and were capable of touching the holder. Killua whimpered after another fifteen minutes of a long play because BeautyGoddess has lost two more relics. 

"I'm never playing with her again. FUCK!" Ikalgo bumped his fist on the carpet when they lost the first match. The rival team was able to put their relics in their spot, riling up the temple and winning.

Killua was staring at the word FAIL on his screen, too silent that Ikalgo was extremely scared. "We're doing a rematch with those bitches, and I'll be the leader."

Ikalgo saluted, biting his lower lip to prevent a laugh at Killua pissed off look. "Yes, Captain Zoldyck."

°•~~~•°

Three matches.

Killua wiped the ground with the rival team in two matches after losing the first. Ikalgo looked at the result in shock, especially when Killua bought a special offer bundle to rile his guild beforehand. "You're such a bitch."

"I'm a bitch, who fucks people in the ass," Killua replied, a little less pissed after the two wins. 

_Holy shit!!!! I got that weird power in the middle of the game and I slaughtered the bitchessss!_ BeautyGoddess texted in the #Gaming channel. She sent fist emojis afterward, then a few love faces. Killua snorted, but he was still a little pissed off.

 _Electric bought a special bundle to rile the guild, that's why you got a special power amidst the game, goddess._ Ikalgo texted back, explaining the reason why she became a sudden game goddess. 

_Yea, you were a damn bitchy unloyal demon, and then, you were promoted to a goddess, thanks to me, the god of thunder._ Killua texted back, cackling with Ikalgo. Both of them knew that Killua won't shut up until he roasts BeautyGoddess for making him lose.

 _Damn. But, I'm fabulous there. Bet. Even my character is so fashionable._ She texted, obviously full of herself for no reason in Killua's opinion. He hated it when someone is too full of themselves when they are NOTHING.

 _What? Are you in a modeling game or an action game? Get your facts straight, old hag. You're in a fucking action game. You made us lose the first match, and I never LOSE. Just because you wanted to be a leader when you have zero leadership. Go get a course._ Killua texted, knitting his eyebrows and ignoring Ikalgo's funny looks. He knows that Ikalgo enjoys it a lot when Killua is pissed.

He always told him that he looked like a snarky thot when he wanted to roast someone—he pinched his arm whenever he said that, as a result. 

"Do you need some chocolate to calm down? You're scaring me." Ikalgo mumbled—a tint of sarcasm snuck into his tone. 

However, Killua was staring at his screen silently. He was looking at it as if he was lifted from hell to heaven. Ikalgo raised an eyebrow, finally leaving Killua alone to stare at his screen. "Oooh, OOOOH. Oooh~" He made his amused sounds once he read the text from the infamous AmberJajanken.

 _Hey, guys, merry Christmas. Are y'all playing still? bc, I wanna join._ Killua turned slowly to the smirking Ikalgo, whose lips were stretching into an evil grin.

"I'm up for a little, no excuse me, for a fucking big ass fun. And you're my toy, Killu." Ikalgo said that while trembling, so Killua gasped so loud. He knew that Ikalgo is up for a big shit.

"What are you planning, fatass?" Killua allowed his venom to seep through his voice. It all looked like a drama play, but their life was always like that whenever they were bored. Their reactions were always dramatic and they always loved to be that dramatic when they are planning to be evil.

"Get ready for voice chatting. Let's hear that _sexy_ voice of that _sexy_ body of that _AmberJajanken._ " Ikalgo said, emphasizing the word sexy enough to make Killua burn. 

They stared at each other in silence. A hot second, Killua jumped to snatch Ikalgo's phone. He's not ready for that. He's never ready for that. "BITCH! DON'T! NOOOO!" Ikalgo snickered so loud, pushing Killua off of him, but the latter was not budging. They fought over the phone, so Ikalgo bent over it and typed fast while Killua struggled to take it off his hands. Since Ikalgo stood on his knees and hid the phone down where he typed, Killua was on the top of his back, trying to clutch the hidden-phone although it was impossible.

 _Electric and I are wondering if y'all wanna voice chat while playing? Are you fine with that amber and beauty?_ Killua fought with Ikalgo, who struggled hard before he clicked send. He was kinda sad because he didn't capitalize the names, but that's fine since he had no typo, fortunately.

"FUCK YOU! I'M NOT JOINING." Killua retreated to his spot, huffing, and grumbling. His cheeks were fascinatingly crimson, which let Ikalgo pee his pants of laughter—not literally. His cackles were jinxed by Killua's curses, who was angrily throwing slurs like bombs towards his friend, wishing that he dies.

He never hated him as much as in now.

"Piece of rotten pizza. Piece of poopy ass. Piece of bitchy bitch." Killua continued 'piecing' Ikalgo, who eyed his phone to see that Amber is already hyper about the idea, spamming their phones with messages.

"Look, someone is back to his cheerful old self. I wonder why he was so dark a moment ago." Ikalgo played with his phone silently when Killua stopped cursing. 

He returned to his phone, looking at the words Gon typed. _Fr?! A voice chat?! KAYYYY! I'm so ready for this! Damn!_ Each statement was typed alone. Killua's cheeks blossomed since his mind was thinking about how the call would go.

He's not ready.

He's ugly, his voice is ugly, his existence is ugly.

He's insecure even though he had his pretty moments in reality, such as adding makeup or wearing hot clothes to go to a nightclub. But, this is online chatting. No one can see the other, and Killua's makeup can't cover his insecurities.

 _Alright, peeps. Get ready and power on your bitch, so we can start playing. I'll call in a minute._ Ikalgo texted, receiving an enormous glare from the albino next to him. He didn't dare to look back because he could sense that Killua is a second away from pulling his beautiful dyed pastel pink hair—that precious hair of his. And he is in no place to tease the fuming boy any longer if he wants to keep his head over his shoulders.

“Aight. Let’s get ready, and you better not cower away, or Gon would laugh at you.” Said Ikalgo. He crawled towards the console, making sure it wasn’t heated before getting ready, putting their headphones on, and chilling back on the carpet. Killua was clutching his sky blue headphones worriedly, his heart was hammering nonstop. He shouldn’t be that scared about talking with people—he does that in everyday life, but something is weird about talking with strangers, whom he never met. His trust issues were refusing, and his anxiety was running all around his body. “Oh, look. Crimson joined too.” Ikalgo pointed at the team on their screen, noticing the name CrimsonEye flashing and joining in the game. 

Killua felt slightly relieved as he stared at his screen. He looked at his phone to notice Crimson’s text. _I’m done with my work, so I have free time to tag along._ On the other side of the server, bots category, LeOreoTheLegend was doing his daily tasks for DankMemer—hunt, fish, hunt, rob! He stopped to text in the #Gaming channel once he spotted Crimson there, which was extremely obvious to everyone. _Count me in, bitches! I have to be with Crimson or I’m slaying asses!_

_Aight. Imma call._ Ikalgo texted. It was a tense moment for the albino, especially when his phone started ringing. He stared at the peeps in the call and hesitated. “No, you’re not cowering,” Ikalgo mumbled, pressing the green button on Killua’s phone, who stopped a gasp midways. Killua wanted to curse so bad, to curse the shit out of Ikalgo’s face. His raging thoughts calmed a little when he heard the cheerful voices of people in the discord’s call. Everyone is saying _Merry Christmas,_ asking how their Christmas eve is going. The albino was busy looking at the icons, to know who was talking.

“Aye! How are y’all? I’m the infamous tentacles!” Ikalgo said loudly, a mighty grin on his face as he played with the game settings for a second. Killua muted himself, his face was too hot; this shit they’re doing is embarrassing. 

_“Heyy! Yanno what?”_ A sudden low, husky, and tired voice talked. The voice sounded tired, but there weren’t any tints of sadness. _“When I first joined the server and saw you and Electric fighting, I read your name as FuriousTesticles.”_ The person was obviously talking to Ikalgo, who guffawed so hard. Killua was looking down at the icons, to see the Green circle is on AmberJajanken. So that’s how his voice sounds…

He didn’t expect any less anyway. It was attractive. 

“You’re not the first one who read my username like that,” Ikalgo said between chuckles, too hyper, which was unusual of him. Killua eyed him suspiciously, knowing that his bestie has something else in mind, probably. 

_“YOOO! Amber’s voice is sooo hot!”_ The only girl in the call, BeautyGoddess, exclaimed, and interjected in the conversation—she emphasized her words carefully stretching her adjectives to sound more ecstatic. _“Just like your body.”_ She ended it with a faint seductive tone, which made Killua cringe.

 _“Oh, wow,”_ Crimson said, cutting the conversation short. Gon didn’t reply to that, so Killua assumed he was embarrassed. Maybe he regretted sending that picture to the server? And maybe he didn’t know he’d get so much attention because of it? Beauty has a silky persuasive tone, melodious, and good treble in a way. It wasn’t Killua’s type, but he can’t judge because he’s gay anyway. Since her tone was too feminine, hunting men by using her voice won’t be an issue to her. In contrast, Crimson’s voice, who he heard before, was the usual dreadfully quiet, yet professional tone. His mellow male voice was always relaxing, softening Killua’s beats as he heard the little audible comment. 

_“Y’all fuckin’ leave Amber alone. It started to irritate me how y’all been reminding him of that. We are an inspiring server, not a thot server.”_ LeOreoTheLegend interrupted when Gon didn’t speak a word. 

“Electric tells you, PREACH OLD MAN!” Ikalgo said, snapping Killua’s head towards him. He could feel his lip numbing, his cheeks running hot, and his eyes widening. It wasn’t any better when Ikalgo stuck his tongue out teasingly. 

_“Electric’s next to you?”_ Suddenly, as if Amber didn’t even consider the existence of Beauty and her flirting, he asked Ikalgo. His tone was full of curiosity, longing, and patience to hear Electric talking. _“It looks like he’s in the call with us, but he’s on mute.”_

Ikalgo turned to look at Killua, who was shaking his head no. The smirk widened on Ikalgo’s lips, still searching for the special server they wanna join to play the game in mind, inside the huge universe of DoL. “Yeah, he’s next to me. But, he’s so ner—MmmMPHHS.” Killua closed Ikalgo’s mouth with his hand, threateningly looking at Ikalgo and pointing at his hair. 

_“Sorry? I couldn’t hear you.”_ Amber said in a questioning tone, worry is seeping throughout his voice for some reason. 

“Why does he sound worried?” Killua mumbled into Ikalgo’s ear after taking his headphones away slightly, making the poor teen shiver in disgust because of the air pumping inside. He will beat Killua’s ass up for that. 

“He’s not worried, idiot. He’s full of anticipation to hear your voice, I D I O T.” 

Killua had no time to reply because both of them heard Amber speaking. _“Uh? Why am I an idiot now?”_

“Oh, shit,” Ikalgo said, directly speaking back to clear the misunderstanding. “Oh, no. hon. Not you. I’m talking with Electric.”

 _“Hiiiii! Hi! Electric? You there? You electrify the atmosphere, make a misunderstanding, then stay on mute?”_ That’s it. Amber started. He knows that Gon is going to tease him until he loses his shit. Crimson, LeOreo, and Ikalgo were busying themselves with the settings because they weren’t ready to fight on Christmas. Killua was pouting, staring at the TV silently. _“Hey. I’m sorry if you’re mad about that night...”_

Ikalgo turned to Killua with a shocked face, burning the insides of Killua. The albino had to mouth, _it is not what you think,_ but Ikalgo feigned betrayal. 

_"I was so upset because of my family and shit, so I had to leave. Also, I'm sorry because I didn't reply to your morning message."_ Gon continued to ramble. He sounded guilty and upset as he apologized from the Zoldyck.

 _"Oh, wow,"_ Crimson said again. He didn't say anything but that statement, defining his shock at everything that is going on. _"Electric? For real? You sent a morning text to someone? You didn't even do this to me."_

Killua wanted to defend himself, clutching his phone and puffing his cheeks. It was never that hard to unmute and talk with Crimson via a voice call. Maybe because there are new _voices_ in the call. Ikalgo was eyeing Killua with a smile, his smile always spoke up for him. Nonetheless, Killua wasn't paying any attention to his surroundings, focusing on the muted voice of his side. He needs to defend himself, or everyone will think that he's trying to hit on Gon, especially Crimson. 

_"Well, yes. He sent me a soft and cute Merry Christmas, idiot, this morning. He knew I was upset those two days since we ended up talking until late at night before Christmas eve. I think he was concerned about me, which I found extremely adorable."_ Gon said, his tone was full of mockery yet it is hardly spotted since it was covered with a frosting of loveliness.

 _"That's… surprising,"_ LeOreo spoke, making Killua scream at himself mentally for being a coward at that moment. Killua is glad that Gon is in better shape now, but he knows that Gon is teasing to get him to talk. That attention is scaring him, worrying him to no boundaries.

 _"Yep! I didn't expect to have so much attention coming from Electrified, the one who electrified me, a lot."_ Gon said again. Killua felt like blocking him for real now, but something was telling him to go and save his pride first. 

His thumb crept nearer towards the mute button, unmuting himself to mumble. "Dafuq you mean I give you so much attention? You're dreaming." His voice was threateningly low, making the boy next to him snort aloud. Ikalgo's snort alerted the people on the line, who started contemplating about what made tentacles snort so loud.

 _"Oh, god. You talked. I— that— wow."_ Gon said, which was a voice of fascination. He worked his stutter to reach a point where he was baffled, astonished, and flabbergasted. 

"What?" Killua snarkily mumbled, throwing his venom into his tone to tell Gon how much he does not appreciate his presence. 

_"Nothing. Just… I never expected your voice to be that_ **_smooth_ ** _. I'm kinda awestruck. I love it."_ Gon said again, voice turning seductive for an instant.

Killua muted his phone, cheeks reddening as if he was holding his breath, then took the confused Ikalgo's phone and muted it too. Then, "AHHHHH I HATE HIM SO FUCKING MUCHHHHH."

Ikalgo burst out laughing, looking at Killua who was screeching and completely laying on the ground as a corpse. "You're so dramatic." Ikalgo dramatically wiped a fake tear, being a hypocrite when he just accused his friend of being dramatic. 

_"Both of them muted."_ They heard Crimson speak out, followed by the scratchy voice of LeOreo.

 _"Watch them be kissing."_

Killua jumped on his seat and turned to Ikalgo, whose tongue was out slightly with a smirk. "Oh, no."

Ikalgo unmuted.

"Goodness. How did you know?" Ikalgo asked, so Killua groaned so loud that all of them must've heard him from Ikalgo's phone.

 _"And dassa a moan."_ Gon suddenly said, fully shutting Killua up. What caught Killua's ears was Gon's harsh tone. _"Tentacles, answer. Are you, both, gays?"_

Killua unmuted, cutting Ikalgo before he speaks. "I'm flying to Mars." He muted, nearly hanging up before Ikalgo screamed and put his hands on Killua's phone. 

"PLEASE, AH. NO!" Ikalgo screamed, trying to stop Killua from hanging up when the other people on the call thought something else.

 _"Guys, uh, oh. Are we going to play, or are we going to listen to y'all moaning?"_ Beauty finally interrupted, a little uncomfortable after the sudden heat in the chat.

"Oh! Yeah! I just found the area I want. Let's join. And I was trying to stop Electric from hanging up!" Ikalgo said, smiling as if he did nothing a moment ago—as if he didn't send Killua to hell.

 _"Sorry if my question was weird tho."_ Gon said, muting himself.

"Oh, gosh. He sounded upset." Ikalgo said sarcastically, so Killua rolled his eyes.

"Of course. I would be UPSET if someone started moaning in a gaming call." Of course, they muted. Killua glared at Ikalgo who was laughing. No one was talking into the call until Gon was unmuted again.

 _"Yanno. No one was able to make electric talk, but I did. Can I have some credit?"_ Ikalgo laughed aloud, still muted along with Killua. Gon really wanted to talk to Electric, always forming fights to make the boy talk. _"That also means, I do what I want and I get what I want. I now know the rules of DoL, electric. You can't beat me."_

"Ha. Bet. You would never be able to beat me in this game, nor any other. I'm a pro-gamer." Killua unmuted, finally losing the insecurity tension to melt in the specification of the game. It was when they reached land, all ready to start some killing and hunting.

 _"No, electric. You are not a pro-gamer. You are Electrified."_ Killua heard a few chuckles coming from LeOreo, Crimson, and slightly from Beauty. He and Ikalgo didn't really catch up to the joke.

"Ha ha. Very funny. I died."

_"Thought you're going to Mars, not hell?"_

"Can you shut up?"

 _"No. I actually wanna hear you talk more. If I did, you're gonna mute yourself again."_ Killua was pouting while getting ready to play.

The first match was intense, where they had to play with an online rival. Gon and Killua weren't getting along in-game since Killua just jumped over Gon to get Gon's relic before him. Ikalgo was laughing so hard at their childishness, especially when Gon started whimpering on the call and calling Killua mean.

The first match was done by them winning, LeOreo was screaming victoriously. "Oh! Hello, sapphire!" Ikalgo noticed the presence of SapphireEyedDoll in their call, so he had to mention her to get her to talk.

 _"Hi! Guys! Can I join?"_ Sapphire asked in between the shuffles. Killua assumed that it's either the connection is bad, or she's multitasking.

"Oh, yeah. If you did, we can split into two teams to play against each other."

The line for Sapphire wasn't smooth at all, forcing a headache to all the passive listeners. _"Great! Let's start!"_ She joined in-game, but Killua didn't sulk about her existence until she started idle chatting with Gon. 

_"Amber! Haha! I love that panda character too. That rolling ability is wholesome!"_

_"I know right?! I literally killed three people with that."_

_"It's so underrated!"_

_"Yeah, it makes me sad."_

"Can both of you shut up until we split teams?" Killua interrupted, but he wished he didn't.

 _"Awe, why? How about you let us hear your voice more instead of shutting us up, electric?"_ Gon teased, but Killua was puffing his cheeks not to throw a rocky curse on Gon's face.

 _"Yeah! You have a nice voice, electric!"_ Sapphire said. Oh, how much he hates feminine seductive voices. He gets it, he gets how feminine and cute they are, but he does not care.

"Whatever." Killua grumpily replied, focusing on his tv screen to start prepping and adding weapons for his game.

_"Amber! I'm not gonna lie, but I was so excited to hear your voice tho! Also, thank you for accepting my friend request."_

Killua hates talking to those bitches so much.

 _"Don't mention it, sapphire. I'm also not gonna lie, I thought you're a boy at first."_ Gon said timidly, a tint of humor in his tone. However, it was completely different from the way he talked with Killua. He didn't flirt, nor tease—he just turned to a polite human in just seconds. A few laughed at Gon's idiocy since he made Sapphire stumble hard with her words. Even Killua found it funny how that was worded, especially how sapphire sounded too upset when she couldn't hide that from her tone.

 _"Oh my god. Wait, wait."_ Gon said, shutting everyone up. _"I heard something."_

 _"What? Are you alone at home on Christmas Eve, Amber?"_ LeOreo said, quite concerned.

 _"No! I heard Electric. Laughing. Oh my god, that's the best giggle I've ever heard._ " Oh, fuck. He never ceases to embarrass Killua. Ikalgo started the game, a small smile was littering his lips. _"You have such a cute laugh, damn!"_

Killua couldn't shut up. He had to reply back, to fire back and destroy Gon's smug face and voice. "Shut up, jackass! I'm far from cute. And my voice is not cute either. Stop having wet dreams!"

 _"Oh, why did you think I'm having wet dreams when all I said was your voice being cute?"_ The sound of mockery is back in Gon's voice, and Killua nearly felt like choking from anger.

"Because I know people like you, who flirt with every human they meet as if it's normal. You are that kind who thinks dirty, always."

 _"Ho? You don't even know me in reality, hon. Also, you're wrong. I might be seductive here or there, but no one knows what I say for my lover when I have one. It is_ **_too much_ ** _for you."_

"Who said that I wanna know? Just keep your bold as fuck personality away from me. Like, god! You think I'm cute? When in reality, I'd be taller than you, with a big belly, and unshaved face that you'd be disgusted looking at. You said it, you don't even know me in reality."

They were bickering, but the shocking fact is that both of them were too hyper, professionally gathering relics around the area. Gon and Killua were against each other and the leaders of their teams. So, they were both playing seriously even though they were bickering through the phone call.

 _"I'd love to know you tho."_ Gon blurted, so Killua remained silent for a moment until Gon resumed. _"I'd love to know Electric in reality."_

"You're a fucking idiot."

_"I wonder if I could be your idiot."_

"You're a fucking flirty ass. A thot."

_"I don't really think I'd be your thot, but I'd be happy going all naked for you."_

"Holy shit. I fucking hate you."

Ikalgo was dying next to Killua, especially when he was madly blushing. Why is he so flirty with him? Killua noticed that Gon was always flirty around males, claiming that he has a seductive personality, but he means nothing bad. But he doesn't go explicit with anyone except Killua, which could be embarrassing and also weird at the same time.

 _"It is so fun teasing you, Electric. I don't mean that as sexually. I just love seeing your reaction to whatever I do."_ Gon said, running to attach the relic in his temple. Killua was a few steps behind to reach the temple too.

"You're such a bitch, Amber. I don't know why everyone is so hooked to be around you."

_"Maybe because I'm not like a cheerleader female, who obsesses about bullying."_

"I'm not like that."

_"You're just cute on the inside and hard on the outside. That's why you're so interesting."_

"I'm someone who does not shave his face," Killua said, and he wasn't lying. Ikalgo was laughing so hard in the background since he didn't care about staying silent anymore. He lost interest in the game since he was enjoying Gon and Killua's bickering. He also noticed that all the gamers weren't as interested anymore. 

_"Maybe because you look cuter with facial hair?"_

"No. I don't." Killua never had to shave. As a person of albinism, he rarely sees any hair on his body, and if he got any, it would be white and translucent that no one could ever see, so he doesn't have to shave. His face is too clean for that.

_"Hmmm. Maybe. That's why people have different opinions."_

"You're just trying to be flirty with someone who's trying to convince you that they are ugly. Amber, you lost." Killua said, putting the relic on the temple since Gon stopped playing a second after he started focusing on Killua's _facial hair_.

 _"No, Electric. There is a reason why kinks exist."_ Gon said, but Killua and Ikalgo shut up when the door creaked open. Alluka popped her head out with a pure smile.

"Heyyyyy!" Ikalgo said, startling Gon. He nearly continued but shut up when Killua talked.

"Come in, sis." Killua smiled, allowing his sister to walk inside. What was surprising for him, Kalluto was with her. "Oh, brother."

The line was silent, which Killua was grateful for.

"Can we join?" Alluka asked, clutching Kalluto's hand. "Kalluto and I forgave each other for fighting over the Christmas tree ornament, so we aren't enemies anymore and we asked our parents if we could spend Christmas with big brother and Brother Ikalgo."

Both of them smiled at Alluka's cuteness, forming a space between them for Alluka and Kalluto to sit in between. "We're playing DoL. Is that boring?" Killua asked, ruffling Alluka's hair, and noticed Ikalgo putting an arm around Kalluto.

"Not at all! We have to see big brother winning!" Killua softly smiled, nodding a little and turning to the screen.

"A new match?" Killua asked in the call.

 _"Sure."_ Gon timidly replied, especially when Ikalgo texted to notify them about the sudden presence of Killua's siblings. 

_No R18 talk. Electric's little siblings are in the room._ Killua winked at Ikalgo, who smiled back with a wide grin. They have to protect their innocence until the last moment.

They played in silence, only Alluka, and Kalluto's cheers were erupting in the room. Killua was awestruck by Kalluto joining their little group. He does love Kalluto, but as an autistic boy, it was hard to understand him.

His autism was complex, but no one ever helped him and understood him except for Killua. He knew that Kalluto was attached to him, but it was hard to understand what he's thinking about. Normally, he'd just stick next to his mom, holding into her dress or following her around. Kalluto was born in his mom's fortieth age and the chance of autism or any other disability was high, but Kikyo decided to continue on with her pregnancy, bringing Kalluto to life.

Killua was grateful that Kalluto made it even though he doesn't know how everyone thinks of him. To Alluka, Killua, and Ikalgo, Kalluto is Kalluto and he should be loved and respected equally with anyone. His family hardly agreed with that. So, whenever Kalluto joins them by choice, Killua feels too happy.

The matches carried on. Two of them Killua's team handled and won, while another one Gon was on the lead. BeautyGoddess was too riled up, screaming that she destroyed Gon's team in two matches although she was the member that was far behind in relics, endangering Killua's team.

"Bruh! What do you mean you destroyed them?! You nearly destroyed US!" Killua bickered, too fed up with Beauty's act.

_"What! I was so amazing there!"_

"Go get your eyes checked, for god's sake."

_"You're a rude bitch—"_

"Shut up old hag!"

"SHHH, THE CHILDREN!" Ikalgo yelled, so Killua flinched and looked apologetically at him, smiling shyly.

_"Who's the old hag—"_

Suddenly, Amber laughed. Sexy. The word played in Killua's mind recurrently, he's sexy. That laugh is sexy and alluring, and it was done on purpose. _"You look like a child, electric. I really love how you could be when you do something you love."_

Gon's laugh was everything but scornful. His throaty, genuine laugh was unkempt underneath tons of sentiments. It was full of triumph, like getting an award over an endearing action. It placated Killua's screaming emotions, but it also agitated lots of new enthusiasm. 

It was _attractive_ in a unique way, like a magnet.

His beguiling and irresistible laugh provoked the heat within Killua's body. It was easy for Killua's neocortex to collaborate with his thalamus and form the holy image of Gon's throaty laugh, sticking in his brain as an image of Realism. The incipient blush was a faint carnal on his anomalously youthful cheeks, knotting his tongue once his anxiety was evident in his pupils.

He shouldn't answer, or he would make a fool out of himself. The best answer to Gon's usual tease is silence even though when he knew silence means approving the previous fact.

Fortunately, Illumi went inside the room. His blank eyes breaking any sort of evident emotion in the current atmosphere. He looked at the quadruple blankly, readying himself to speak. "Lunch is an hour from now, and dinner is at six sharp." He took a break, looking around at the sudden chill and noiseless room. Finally, he pointed at the console, looking back at his unique white-haired brother. "You're not supposed to play for more than two hours. Make sure to turn that off after I leave."

Illumi didn't hesitate to leave afterward, closing the door behind him with a soft thud. Once he left, the pressure in the room uplifted, so Killua grumbled agonizingly while Ikalgo fell in an indescribable feeling of despair. However, no words were thrown after the mood-breaker moment. Even Gon hasn't spoken a word after Illumi's interjection. 

A second of tranquility was followed by Gon's alluring tone, sending a chill down Killua's spine who started to loosen up. _"Did he leave?"_

"Oh, yeah. Sorry, that was my big brother." Killua faintly replied. It was embarrassing how his younger siblings knocked on his door, but his oldest sibling never bothers to do that. They are supposed to be raised on manners, where are the manners?

 _"I'm sorry, but why is your time so limited?"_ Gon's curiosity saturated his question, soaking it completely enough to be highly evident and absorbed.

"That's, um, a family guideline thing. You know family rules and traditions."

 _"But, you're seventeen."_ Gon stretched the age to add on his emphasis. Killua knows. He doesn't need to be reminded of how he's being controlled although he's a semi-adult now.

"Well. Can't wait to be eighteen to leave this shit we call home." Killua's voice trembled slightly, but Ikalgo fixated his gaze on the ceiling. His facials were relaxed, but he felt his nerves popping up whenever Killua's voice reached the verge of vulnerability, especially when he's worthless and useless at the moment. "Well, don't think about it. It's just because of Christmas and School. Parents are dictators and we have to obey like pets." Gon hummed into his ear as a simple response. He didn't say anything else, so Killua had to cut short with him when Ikalgo busied himself by turning off their console.

Killua didn't even notice that everyone left the call except Amber. Is it an act of respect that both males were talking together? Or were they just bored?

"Well, I have to go. It was nice playing and bickering with you all day." Killua mentally screeched at himself for looking idiotic, for being so simplistic. The person on the other line grew silent, but he soon hummed.

His tone wasn't cheerful, back to that night he stopped mid-conversation with Killua and came back fully depressed. Maybe now that he's alone, he'd be thinking about that depressing topic all over again? It should be Killua's least problem—worrying about others.

Once disconnected, Gon turned offline. Although LeOreo was proposing for another match, Gon didn't care nor reply. That drew question marks for everyone, so Ikalgo turned to Killua with a raised eyebrow. A second ago, Gon was too thrilled about another match. Now, Gon's offline. "He's probably having a bad day." Killua shrugged, answering Ikalgo's hidden question.

After shutting down the console, both males stared at each other and contemplated what to do for the rest of their time. It will be hectic for the rest of the day, and tomorrow will be volcanic.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Decimate of Logic is a game I created. It is not real. Just had to clarify x3


	5. Spoil Me

The snow was cramped on the treetops in the afternoon of Whale Island and the branches were extended high to make a stunning view out of Gon’s window. He just finished calling the server peeps after a quality time of playing. His phone was straddled in his chilled hands, however, his attention was swamped by the beauty of nature. Depression wasn’t a thing that he was supposed to feel on Christmas, but his dad didn’t consider his feelings on such an important holiday. On the bright side, he enjoyed his time with everyone, especially Killua. 

At the reminiscence of his name, Gon shifted on his bed, standing up and turning off his console. He looked blankly at his blank screen, wondering about everything that happened. He likes flirting — he’s a genuine flirt. But, Killua’s behavior, Killua’s attitude, Killua’s way of dealing with him was making him clench his jaw. Kurapika fell in love with someone and it is all a matter of time to discover that love is fake. He took the remote of his TV and turned it off, throwing it on his disheveled bed. Killua as well is going to be so much fun, however, he couldn’t help these feelings that are already flooding — feelings of pure ecstasy. 

It would be fun to discover everyone on the server, maybe seek pleasure here or there, but he couldn’t wait to finally banish Christmas and return to his normal routine. Quarantine is scary when you have nothing to do. Noting that mentally, he slumped into his bed, covered his eyes, and tried to forget how much hate he developed for his dad in the past few years; he was the reason for how unconvinced he is in love, seeking pleasure instead. He loves him, but he despises him for creating agony deep within his core, the one that was pure before.

He thought that he’d spend Christmas eve in bed, but the sound of knocking that was emitting from their front door changed that concept. He sat up confused because they seldom get visitors on familial holidays like Christmas. All the neighbors would be busy with their family bonding, and their house that is abandoned on the hill isn’t recognized at that moment. It is supposed to be a true holiday where it is special for families only. Gon’s curiosity lashed out, coating his body like a cover. He inquisitively walked out of his room, not making any sound because he wasn’t ready for someone’s attention, and he’s not up for any talk yet. Nonetheless, he was curious to see the one knocking on their door before they leave. Santa? Nah. But, he wishes if it was Santa and a Santa who’s up for befriending. He doesn’t think Santa is afraid of Corona, so he’d come inside to eat cookies and Milk willingly, along with conversing with Gon.

He walked nonchalantly towards the door, opening it wide to be face to face with nothing. He looked down, bubbling excitedly when he saw the best, shortest, and loveliest grandmother. “Granny!” Screaming, he crashed on his knees and hugged his chuckling grandmother, squishing her into his buffed arms. “What a surprise! I’ll cry!” His exaggeration never ceased, so his grandmother chuckled happily, patting his back and seeking for breath.

“I missed you too, juvenile. How was your Christmas?” Gon got up and stepped aside for his grandmother, Abe, to come in. He carried her luggage inside while answering her question dearly. 

“Much better after seeing you.” She cooed at Gon, who grinned and walked with her into the living room. Mito wasn’t leaving her room, which got Gon concerned. He helped his grandmother to sit comfortably on the couch, looking at the dimmed, abandoned, and undecorated Christmas tree in the corner then turned with a soft gaze to his granny. “I’m going to check up on Mito and tell her that you’re here.”

“Okay, sweetheart.” After taking the permission, he climbed the stairs in a trot. He went to the nearby room to his, politely and faintly knocking on the door. Mito won’t be so silent unless she’s upset or depressed about a specific topic, which Gon knows about. He was the reason she’s upset because Mito won’t care if Ging visited or not. He deeply knows how much she cherishes these holidays with him, with Gon.

“Auntie? Granny just came back from her trip and she’s asking if you want to meet her or not yet…” Gon’s silly call of attracting his aunt and luring her out of her room never worked out unless it was as important as meeting her mother. He heard someone shuffling around the room, and soon, his aunt got out. She looked tired although she had the day off today, well, it is up to her to take the day off or not because she’s the owner of her bar. She stared at Gon with a sheepish smile, faintly mumbling merry Christmas, then hugging her boy longingly. She also had her fears whenever Gon was upset; Gon always knew about them because she didn't have to talk about it for Gon to notice. He was her weakness, her everything. She is like a mom to him, has raised him since he was a young boy. He does remember his mom, the sad memories he shared with her because of his dad, because of love, but Mito is much more important. 

Gon clutched her tighter, hugging her as affectionately as he could, giving her all the care she deserved. He felt guilty because he left her on an important familial morning to bond with no one. He was drowning in his own sorrows ever since he knew that his dad wasn’t coming. He forgot who was important in all of that, his aunt. “I’m sorry.”

She fondly smiled at Gon, hands tightly grasped together in front of her burgundy dress, her favorite dress that was gifted by Gon on her birthday. She never sought Gon’s apology — She only wanted Gon to enjoy this holiday. “Mom’s here?” Not going back and forth into the teensy apology, not opening injuries hidden beneath tons of guilt, Mito changed the subject. It was a great topic, his grandmother. 

“Yes! She’s alone down the stairs, and she must be tired after traveling the whole way to the Island.” Mito knows the thing Gon told her about. They started walking down the stairs, Gon’s arm wrapped around his beautiful and youthful aunt. Of course, she knows about her mother coming from the trip. She’s the one who called her for an emergency to rescue Gon’s second holiday from being destroyed. It is time to spend a nice holiday with the ones who meant the most to her. 

“Mom! I’ve missed you!” Upon hearing Mito’s ecstatic voice, Gon surged to sit aside and enjoy the mother-daughter bonding without interrupting. It made him smile, feeling the sense of the holiday a bit. Thus, it is delighting to have his grandmother in this cozy home up the hill, where no one comes by. “Mom, go wash up. I can’t risk you getting coronavirus.” Again, Mito went back to her bad habit of germophobia. She doesn’t have that, does she? She’s just too worried about the disease spreading and hurting who she cares about. “It’s been spreading fast, and elders are the most affected.” 

“I got that, girl. Don’t worry, I’m as strong as a man!” Abe replied, defending herself. She’s not here to make things worse anyway, and she doesn’t dream of worrying her daughter. “I got that vaccine, but I’m not sure about it because doctors aren’t sure either. Let me have a bath and you better prepare lunch together. Do you know that preparing lunch together draws people closer?” She said upon getting up, her brittle, breathy, and croaky voice embalmed the wintry atmosphere as she walked with hands behind her back towards Mito’s room. “By the way, my trip was good. I’m just telling you because you didn’t ask.”

Gon and Mito’s faces brimmed in red, finally noticing the little mistake they’ve made. They childishly stared at each other with a minuscule guilty smile, then stared at the back of the old lady. “Gon, take mom’s luggage to my room and follow me to the kitchen. Wash your hands before coming.” Gon obliged, rushing to hold the suitcase with ease. He climbed the stairs, skipping a few staircases along the way. 

Subsequently, he put the bag on the king-sized bed, checking his phone before heading to the kitchen. What stopped him from going down again was a message from Kurapika. His best friend rarely messages him on discord. When he does, Gon knows it is concerning anything about the server. He checked it to be shocked by the formal message Kurapika has sent him. He texted Gon to call when he’s not busy. It was weird because his dear friend was always clear about what he wanted. He was the type where he states his thoughts or his needs clearly, whether the situation is playful or serious. That’s why Gon snuck into his room for a fast call before he gets down to his aunt. He waited as it rang thrice until the other line was picked up. “Pika?” 

_ “Hey, Gon. Busy?” _ Said Kurapika. His voice was as soft but serious and monotone as usual; it had that sense of father tone hidden deep within, which Gon caught because of the stiffness of his tone. 

“Yes, a little, but I don’t mind listening to what you have for a few minutes. What’s up?” Gon replied, carefully talking back without his usual sense of humor. Depending on his friend, there wasn’t a place to joke around. 

_ “I just want to know if there is a thing between you and Electric.”  _

“Excuse me?” Gon was indeed taken aback by Kurapika’s question. He didn’t know how to reply, or why Kurapika of all times decided to talk about this topic. “No, why?” 

_ “Gon. I’m not dumb. Listen. Whatever you have in mind, it is better to be done away from Electric. I know that Electric and I are online friends, but I care about him as much as I do for you.” _ Kurapika’s tone was enhanced by strictness, deep weird emotions enveloped Gon when he heard it. Kurapika rarely talks like that with him — as if Kurapika is offended about something.  _ “Gon,” _ he repeated his name to add more emphasis about how serious he is. Gon always hated it whenever he did that because it gives him massive goosebumps.  _ “You’re a player, both of us know. Electric isn’t the guy who you are allowed to play with, alright?”  _

“You know that I have no such intentions. I don’t care about online peeps.” Gon defended, slightly offended by the tone Kurapika was talking to him. 

_ “I was going to talk to you about it when you started explicitly flirting with him on the server’s call. I’m going to talk about that as an admin later, but I’m a friend to you and Electric now. Stop being a player, Gon.”  _ Kurapika repeated, hardly emphasizing a few words as if he’s telling Gon it wasn’t a joke.  _ “I know that you don’t believe in love, you don’t believe in anything, which makes you think people’s emotions are a joke. You think Electric’s emotions are okay to be played with because he’s someone who you met online but don’t forget that he’s still a human living somewhere else.”  _

“Wait, wait. I never said that I’m going to play with him. I don’t have anything for him. I was just adding some humor to the call—”

_ “Gon. Tell that to someone else. You decided to play with him ever since your first fight together. Whether your intentions are great or ill, make sure not to hurt my friend. Otherwise, our friendship will be in danger.” _

“What? Now you're threatening me? Kurapika, you have to know that I don’t understand what emotions you’re talking about. If Electric had anything for me, he’d be too naive. We are nothing but weebs playing nonstop. That doesn’t explain Electric’s feelings for me.”

_ “I’ve never said that he had feelings for you, but I know whenever you try to make someone fall for you. Don’t play dumb.” _ Gon’s jaw clenched when he was cornered. That’s why he agrees that friends are dangerous. 

“Alright. I’m not focusing on that or anything. It is just, Electric is appealing to me. The chemistry between us is attracting me forward. I don’t know what I think or what I want to do, it is just, he’s different from the others in the server to me. But, Pika, I have no intention to hurt him or anything. I promise.” Managing to soothe his tone into the other’s ear, Gon waited for Kurapika to reply. He went silent for a moment, maybe contemplating how to reply to Gon’s minuscule speech. 

_ “Alright. I’m fine as long as you have no intentions of hurting Electric. Once you know him well, you’re going to see how good of a person he is. And remember, every person has a bad side, but that doesn’t make them overall bad. Or, I would’ve kicked you out of my life long ago, Gon.”  _ The last statement hurt Gon a bit, but in a humorous way. He knows how bad he could turn aside from all of his good behaviors.  _ “I’d like to end this conversation short by telling you to stop being a player behind your elders.” _

“You had to bring my family into this, right… Damn you.”

_ “They’re going to be disappointed.”  _

“I hate you.” The last thing he heard was Kurapika chuckling and hanging up. How could he irks Gon is something Gon would never know about. 

Shutting his phone and placing it in his pocket, he finally trotted down the stairs just when Mito was getting up. “Washing your hands took that much time, huh?” She glared at him knowingly, so Gon rubbed his neck nervously, goofily grinning at his aunt. 

“Sorry, auntie. Had to do something.” He mumbled, cheeks red from embarrassment, and he couldn’t avoid her strict glare. They went back into the kitchen, so Gon washed his hands in the sink and turned to his aunt. “Will we make the mighty Christmas pudding this year?” She turned towards him with a knowing smile, hands are up to grab something from the cabinet. 

“If you want to.” 

°•~~~•°

“Which Tropper should we add?” Gon whined when Abe and Mito gave him the task of decoration. They were together with him, but the tallest had the mission of applying the stuff that required his height. “You won’t stop using me as a ladder, will you?” The pissed look on Gon’s face was hilarious, lightning the atmosphere and inflaming the Christmas sensations. 

Mito was grateful, sure she is, that they could feel happiness this year. Fixing the tree, applying the ornaments, lighting it. It looks marvelous. The decorations all around the house were finally lit before the dusk penetrated. The trio stared around, happily enjoying the festive spirits of Christmas eve. There wasn’t enough time to start preparing for dinner because Gon’s glutton self-ordered a lot of tasty Christmas sweets with the biggest ham grand plate for the evening. Mito would do anything to grant the wishes of Gon on this special evening. 

Together with his aunt, Gon walked back into the kitchen to prepare for the evening meal. He wanted to get out and observe the dusk, but he decided against it because Mito is enjoying her time beside him. He plucked out his phone and opened Killua’s private message to stare at the little ‘merry Christmas, idiot’, then he finally decided to reply to it. He did, and Killua turned online so fast. Gon chuckled when he saw the vibrating green dot, too tempted to send the latter,  _ Too bored? _

_ Fuck, yes. Even with tentacles right beside me, I’m dying. _ Killua confessed and agony was emitting through the text. It was humorous to Gon, but he pitied him a little when he snuck a look at his aunt and grandmother having fun with him. It is rare to have the family everyone deserves. There should be something missing in each family. To him, it was his dad and mom, who never took the gesture to be with him. His mom couldn’t, because she’s buried deep inland, but his dad can, but he never did. Maybe it is different for Killua, maybe, he has the family Gon wished for, but he doesn’t have the love Gon is having — family care and family love.  _ I’m lying with Tentacles now, observing the beautiful ceiling of my room. _ Gon chuckled again at Killua’s message, unaware of the raised eyebrows of his aunt and the little opened mouth of his grandmother as they witnessed the genuine chuckle of their depressed boy. 

_ Damn, poor both of you. My Christmas isn’t that good either. But, it is getting better now. _ Gon admitted, still feeling light stings when he imagined them lying down together. Maybe Killua is lying on Tentacle’s lap, looking up at the ceiling. He never imagines something and turns out wrong, so he felt pouty over it.  _ You guys must be too close. _

_ Define ‘too’. _ Gon let out a sigh, wondering how he should define his sentence when he doesn’t even have a definition. He stopped thinking when he saw Killua typing and waited until the latter sent the second text.  _ Yes, we are very close tho. I’m lying down on him and I’d smack him if he objected. THAT kind of close. Why u askin’? _

_ On him?! _ Gon couldn’t help but send the text, wondering if it was an error or the truth. 

_ Yea… why? _ Oh, snap. Gon feels uncomfortable. He shifted in his position, wondering if he should change the subject or if he should ask more about it. He’s curious, and the fact that he can’t imagine shit since Killua is an online friend is killing his imagination.  _ Nothing, just shocked. Thought you’re straight and single. _ Gon is intervening in Killua’s life too much, he knows. But it was his way into becoming friends with a lot of people throughout his teens. He knows how to be sly, how to be seductive. He knows how to play with words; he knows a lot. 

_ Damn. You’ve been asking about my sexuality ever since the call. Why, you bitch. You’re interested in online dating shit? _ Oh, damn. Gon isn’t the only blunt one in that server, or he might have pressed Killua’s buttons enough for him to text that. Gon chewed his inner cheek as if tempted about something, very tempted about knowing more. Killua dodged his question again. Maybe Killua’s worried about spitting the truth to a bully or a homophobic? Or, he’s just not okay with telling someone about who he is when they lie in a distance.  _ Maybe, I am. _ Gon texted, full of mystery and temptation. He saw Killua typing, unaware that his aunt and grandmother aren’t calling out for his help because they know whoever he’s texting is making him giddy and all smiley. 

_ Oh, wow. Such a dick sucker. _ Killua texted, but Gon didn’t take it seriously. Killua looked more shocked than being a bully.  _ Well, yes. I’m gay. But that doesn’t mean you can show off on me, neither rub your filthy dick on my face. _ Killua texted again.

_ Explicit already? _ Gon texted, nearly smirking at Killua’s words. 

_ Nah, just telling you. I do not condone thots, and you’re one so never try your luck with me. _ Killua texted back.  _ Aren’t you going for the amazing, family bonding, magnificent dinner? _

_ Don’t change the subject, jee. But yes. We are preparing the food, you? _

_ Yea, they are preparing the food too, we will be going in a few. _ Gon let out a sigh, turning serious once in his life, just to clarify something to Killua. After his talk with Kurapika, he made sure not to do what he usually does for people he dated. He doesn’t hurt them intentionally, but he was never serious about them. Whenever they decide to turn serious, Gon breaks up with them, shocking them and giving himself a bad reputation. 

_ I wanna be serious about something, Killua. _ Gon started, his two thumbs hammered on his keyboard effortlessly. He typed truly what he felt and what others felt about him.  _ I might be a ‘thot’ like you’re saying. But I’m not a person who gave up on his heart for millions. I never have I ever loved someone truly, never.  _ Gon types again, the wood sound of his keys was emitting loudly at his fast pace, disturbing his aunt and granny, so he muted the sound. 

_ Oh? So, you're a virgin. _ Killua was trying to pester Gon, but the latter knew about it because it was obvious.

_ Nah. It is just… I couldn't love them the way they did to me. _

_ Bad for them that they met you then. _

_ True.  _ Gon let out a guilty sigh. No one ever pointed that out on his face, how bad his exes luck is for meeting Gon. And the worst, Gon agreed to Killua's snarky retort.  _ But, I'd love to befriend you, truly.  _

_ Eh… You remind me of those popular guys at skl, who would love to have me as their 'gay' friend. It is not fashion, bud. It really isn't. _ Killua reprimanded, clearly irritated by what Gon had just said.

_ Never meant it like that. But you're very interesting and I want to know more about you, maybe take that somewhere else. _

_ Bruh _ . When Gon nearly flirted, Killua sent one word to express his unwillingness about Gon's implied meaning. Gon is in no place to flirt, but he just likes teasing.

_ Aight! I will have to go and help the fam with dinner! You better be there when I come back, so we can know each other better! For gameplay purposes! _ Gon texted, and Killua's reply wasn't anything but a rolling-eyes emoji. He ran to the kitchen, where the dusk invaded. Tangerine colors all around, illuminating the Christmas ornaments on the wall. "Hey, ladies! What can I do?" Mito and his granny turned to the seductive voice confusedly. They left him to smile at his own and didn't interrupt, but now he's there wiggling his eyebrows to make both of them giggle.

"Young man, wash the dishes." Mito strictly said, but the corners of her lips drew a beautiful smile. However, her eyebrows were knitted to illustrate the strictness in her tone. 

"You look wicked, auntie."

"Shush, you."

They talked as they worked, and Abe had to rest after an hour of preparation. Everything was lovely, and the cozy house was homey and warm. But in an instant, it felt like the house was a sheet of glass that shattered easily when Gon's phone rang. The ill look Gon gave his phone was an answer to his aunt. It was Ging. 

Gon gulped, riveting his adam's apple. His jaw seemed to clench tensely, and his eyes were wide like a predator. He's mad, but also nervous. His eyes carefully looked up at his aunt, who eyed him thoroughly, then looked back at his phone to pick up.  _ "Gon." _ Knowing his mistake, Ging's voice was guilty.  _ "Merry Christmas." _

"You remember."

_ "Of course I do." _ Gon's lips were pressed, madly waiting for something else from his dad.  _ "You know, covid and all—" _

"I don't care, Ging. It's not the first time anyway, that's what I know. Before it, my birthday, and before that New years and Christmas. It doesn't matter anymore." Gon said, face brimmed in red. Mito was looking worriedly at her son, and Abe soon joined at the sudden stiffness of the air.

_ "Gon… Don't be a little kid. These holidays are supposed to make children clingy and happy, not someone who is going to turn eighteen soon." _

Gon's breath stuck in his trachea for a moment, hitched, and then was released. His dad is making him upset again. "Please." Gon sarcastically started. "This excuse, about holidays and birthdays is for kids, won't work on me. Because you know what? They don't matter. What matters is one thing right there, Ging. My dead mother and her wish. To get along with YOU. But you never cared actually, why did I expect you to care anyway?" Mito put a hand on Gon's shoulder to placate him, especially when the last sentence was fumbled and choked by Gon's sudden weakness.

_ "You had to bring her—" _

"Yes, I did. Yes, I have to because someone like you needs to be reminded of mom's love. You don't even deserve it!" Gon yelled. "You don't even deserve my care to be on a holiday with you either, but all for mom's last wish." Gon exhaled, and his palm sweat because of the tight grip on his phone. "But you don't even wanna grant that to her to come and celebrate a fucking holiday with me. Covid. What a nice excuse. It wasn't there last year, so stop." Without another word, Gon hung up.

Oh, how much he hates hypocrites and people who excuse their mistakes with another mistake. It genuinely pisses him off. "Gon—" Gon inhaled, looking back at his aunt.

"I'm fine. Let's get the table ready."

"You sure?" Abe asked from the door when she heard Gon yelling.

"Yes, he's not ruining more of my life. I'm here with the people who care about me the most."

"You roasted him well, gummy bear. Good job." Abe said in her scratchy tone, making Gon a little lighter, a little happier. 

"Thank you, granny." She only nodded, heading together with the other two to the decorated table. Candles illuminated the room, and Mito turned off the light to eat under the light of the festive candles. Gon was used to that ever since she started living with Mito. It was something special to him, and whenever the room is dark and illuminated by candles, he always felt peaceful. And excited.

The dinner on Christmas eve was simple and delicate. The juicy ham took Gon to a new realm, a delicious one when the wine in their glasses made the atmosphere extra snobbish. It is easy to get wine since Mito owns a bar in the town. She didn't open today although she majorly lost because a lot of fishermen celebrated this day in her bar. But she wanted to be with Gon.

"So, sweetheart, who were you talking to?" Mito started, gleefully smiling under the minuscule lights of the candle. Gon closed his eyes to enjoy the peace, especially since he never gets to have such a moment unless it's a family bonding time or holidays. "You were smiling a lot," Mito added.

"Just a friend from discord. Remember Electric?"

"The one electrifying your insides, yes I do." Gon looked away embarrassingly. Yes, he told Mito that catchphrase about Killua, so whenever he had to talk about him, Mito expresses her knowledge and that she caught up by saying that phrase.

"Yeah… I was talking to him."

"You seem so happy when you talk to him." Abe pointed out, smiling genuinely at her grandchild.

"Uh, no? It is just, he's really funny."

"Very electrifying," Mito mumbled again, so Gon's cheeks darkened in embarrassment. What did he do to himself?

Their forks and knives cluttered with the dishes. Gon was humming excitedly with each bite, savoring the taste of Mito's delicious plates. Gon wondered about the setting of Killua's evening. What about Kurapika? He should've invited him over because he and his little brother must be celebrating the holiday alone. While wondering about his friends, Abe started a conversation about her trip with Mito. Gon enjoyed it, but he slipped his phone under the table here and there to text Kurapika and ask him if he's having fun with his little brother, Pairo.

_ Yep, we're having so much fun I think. _ Kurapika texted, but it was weird how Kurapika's text wasn't even consistent and formal.  _ Pairo had a little episode because of his eyes again, but everything is alright now. _

_ When are you going to take him to the doctor? _ Gon texted back, eating the stuffed chili that was hanging by his fork. 

_ No, lockdown is way serious here. Can't afford a penalty if I got out and got caught.  _ Gon sighed. Locking people down in their houses like that, thinking that it is the safest solution, but everything Gon could see how miserable life had become. Sick people are even sicker, abused people are even more abused, and poor people are now starving. Everything depends on where they are living in this world.

_ Shall I come for a visit? _ Gon jokingly texted, but he didn't expect how desperate Kurapika was for that company. 

_ When are you visiting? _ Kurapika's direct question made Gon speechless for a moment. His aunt will refuse without a second thought even though she knows Kurapika well. 

Gon went to the server to scream.  _ DKDISKLSLSDJ _ .

_ Wtf? _ Electrified sent, which Gon didn't expect at all.

_ Aren't you eating with the fam? _ Gon asked.

_ I'm the one who should ask that. _ Electrified replied.

_ What's happening? _ Crimson intervened, making Gon a tad bit sweaty there.

_ Uh. Sorry, crimson xD I— _ Gon sent, making sure to sound nervous in his text, adding shortcuts and stutters along the way. 

_ Is it about visiting, Amber? _ Crimson texted back so Gon sent a teary face. 

_ I wish I could. _

_ Why r u guys talking in the gc? Gtfo to ur pm. _ Electrified text.

_ I was embarrassed.  _ Gon excused, and he wasn't lying. He opened the topic of visiting to just joke around, but Kurapika was too desperate to be refused. 

_ It's alright, Amber.  _ Crimson reassured, which made Gon even hotter.

_ I will make sure to ask my aunt ;-; but no promises.  _

_ Sure _ . Crimson replied.

_ You guys are sleeping over? _ Electrified interfered curiously. The curiosity was clear throughout his question, and Gon was fighting the urge to tease hard.

_ Yeah, if my aunt agreed. And why aren't you eating? _ Gon asked, also curious about Killua's day.

_ Uh. I'm grounded lol. _ Electrified replied, full of sarcasm but also hiding his true emotion.

_ Wtf? Did your wicked brother come inside your room again and saw you grinding with tentacles? _ Gon had to tease in the end.

_ Wtf? Who said that I'm grinding with tentacles? _

_ You said you're on him. _ Gon replied.

_ Oh, god. I hate you so much. _

_ Love you too.  _

_ I meant we are lying together on the bed and looking at the ceiling you dirty mf. And no, it is not the reason why I'm grounded. _ Electrified was typing again, so Gon didn't interrupt.  _ I'm sure that my gift is gonna be a piece of coal this year too. My parents are too mad rn. _

_ Damn. What did you do to get a piece of coal xD? _ Gon couldn't help the grin on his face, and again, his aunt and grandmother noticed him sneaking the phone under the table. However, they couldn't interrupt him after seeing that grin. They decided to resume their conversation and block Gon from their attention for a while until they're done with the night.

_ Well… I couldn't stop myself from convincing tentacles to go to my brother's room and well… to knock on his door and sing 'I wanna be gay for my Christmas gift Baby' so loud.  _ Gon sent a huge  _ :0 _ (shocked emoticon) to the chat, so a few silent readers replied with a laughing emoji.  _ Yea! And bro was as monotone as ever but I was sure that the song Tentacles and I created pissed him off, especially when I and tentacles started dancing and yelling outside his door with Santa Claus hats about another song we did 'I'm in love with a perverted clown in Christmas' and that's how my bro went down to my parents and somehow convinced them to ground me :c _ Gon was on a wheezing fit at the story, and the face Killua sent wasn't helping his situation. He no longer was able to continue his laughing in front of his aunt and granny, but he didn't regret it.  _ Fucking homophobes _ . Killua sent again and his text got a few hearts and laughing emojis as reactions.

_ You both were so bored huh?  _ Gon sent, trying to stop grinning because his jaw hurt. 

_ Yes! And it is all his fault because he stopped us from playing video games! At least I have my sis and Tentacles here with me.  _

_ Suck to be you. _

_ Very true.  _ Electrified text.  _ Sucks to have a homophobic fam. _

_ Damn. _ Gon replied, but he had to excuse himself to continue his night with his aunt and grandmother. They had the cookie plate that they've done before the dinner, and brought all the blankets in their house to make a tent and sit inside and watch movies — like when Gon was a little child. Abe was fast asleep, but Gon and Mito were so hooked by the movie. 

Everything was peaceful, and the conversation with Ging was fast forgotten. Mito was looking down at Gon's sleeping face, still residing inside the tent. His head was on her lap, and so she shifted into his soft spikes. "Honey, you have to get and sleep in your room," Mito mumbled so soothingly not to startle Gon who was half asleep. He lightly grumbled, opening his eyes and looking at his aunt with a drowsy smile. "Yes, get up and go to your room." Obliging to his aunt's orders, he moved and offered to carry his grandmother to his aunt's room.

Setting his grandmother down to sleep, Gon left the two females to rest in their room before heading to his, leaving everything as it is for tomorrow to clean. To his family, Christmas eve is more important than Christmas day. Since Mito goes to open her bar on Christmas day, and it gets too busy there. He wonders if she will take him to help this year because of COVID. And he will bicker with her tomorrow because it is a risk for Mito to work alone. 

Finally, Gon went to his room, opening the door with a small creek. Then, he stumbled inside. He felt a little dizzy because of the wine although he slept for around an hour in his tent. Settling on his cozy couch, Gon checked his phone. As expected, it was flooding with messages from the Asteroids server. Gon scrolled, but he didn’t find anything as interesting. The game category was full of gamers, and the art category was full of artists. A Christmas one-shot writing contest was active in the writing category, so writers were busy writing and not so active in that category. The General was busted with Merry Christmas and the general talked about how they spent Christmas. Crimson was talking with his boyfriend, LeOreo, but the absence of Electrified sent him off. He went to their private chat to talk because nothing was as interesting as Electrified on that server. He wanted to chat a bit before heading to sleep.  _ Heyyo, how was your day? _ Gon texted. It was weird how he talked to Killua as if they didn’t text this day. 

_ Silly, you know I’m grounded. At least I had a decent meal with tentacles in my room. They don’t know that not eating with them is a blessing and not a curse. _ Killua texted back as fast, so Gon smiled and sent an upside-down smile emoji. They chatted a bit, happily talking about their day. Killua telling Gon how funny it was to tease Illumi and explained that Illumi had eyes on a sexy perverted girl that looked like a clown. Illumi was a dull person, and Killua never expected to see him looking at a woman who is shiny with extreme colors like that.  _ Can you imagine she has VERY bright red hair?!  _

_ I’d smash.  _ Gon replied, so Killua sent a rolling-eyes emoji.  _ Your bro has TASTES. _

_ Oh, shut up! That girl looked weird! She doesn’t even look like a girl. When I saw Illumi Kissing her, he looked like the girl between them for a second. _ Killua continued typing, making Gon a little sleepy while waiting for him.  _ Illumi was so nervous when I jumped to stand next to him with a smirk. Ahah. That was so funny and he fumbled a lot with his words while trying to maintain a straight face. I think her name was… Hisokilla, or something. _

_ That’s a weird name… _ Gon replied. It’s unusual for his replies to be that short, but no one could blame him for being dizzy and tired. 

_ Yea. Whenever I bring her up, Illumi would send me a look that illustrates how he could kill me right here, right now. XD _ They continued talking about Illumi, his looks, his stiff demeanor. But Gon doesn’t care about Illumi. He wanted to imagine what Killua would look like. 

_ And rate yourself from one to ten in comparison to your brother. Like how much you look like him, from one to ten.  _ Gon sent, biting his lips as the fun in their conversation had started. 

_ That’s a zero. _ Killua texted, shocking Gon for a bit. 

_ Aw man, you lyin’. _

_ I’m not. That’s a zero. Unlucky for you, you won’t be able to know how I look like that easily, bitch. _ Gon grumbled with a grin, which looked like an arousal moment. However, he was pouty and depressed for not getting closer to Killua like he intended to. It was hard, reaching Killua was hard…  _ Damn, fine. I’mma send you a pic of me then. _ Gon texted and took the same pose after fixing his hair for a bit and straining his clothes. Raising his leg to look cool with a slight smirk on his face, Gon aligned his other arm to snap himself in his red Christmas sweater. Grinning at the selfie, but this time he decided not to crop half of his face. It is fine for Killua to see, he doesn’t care that much. 

Snapping the picture from a good angle, allowing the little Christmas illuminating lights to waver on his face, Gon sent the picture with anticipation for Killua to fawn or compliment. Alas, he knew that he won’t get the words he’s expecting.  _ Great, you aren’t naked this time. And my username isn’t on your chest, PervertAmber. _ Gon sulked hard, speechless. He wanted to yell at Killua, but it won’t work by words. He wants to throw a tantrum, but it won’t fit in his words either. Cursing out would look childish, and looking upset will make Killua happy, so all of these are a no. 

_ Anyway, I just went into my room after I spent my whole day with my family. You know… I live with my aunt and granny finally came back from her trip to live with us again. I was so upset because dad was supposed to be here… But he didn’t come like always…  _ Gon sent, wondering what to say to make it not too awkward. He decided to ignore Killua being a dick and not complimenting him for now. He knew Killua isn’t one of those Starving for beef people he usually meets, so being spoiled by Killua won’t be  _ that _ easy, which makes it more appealing to him.  _ So, my dad called and made my day worse again, but guess what? _

_ What? _ Killua texted. 

_ You texted me and made me a grinning ball of happiness, that my aunt was weirded out. _

_ Oh, damn. That’s embarrassing. _ Killua’s text took a whole minute to be sent, and Gon knew Killua was truly embarrassed. He takes longer while typing to send a short message like that although Gon witnessed him joining a sprint in the writing category before, and he was ranked first with a 60wpm. _ Christmas was kinda better when we played video games together with others… It was my favorite part of Christmas, including the dance and songs I created with Tentacles to tease Illumi…  _

Gon started typing, but he directly stopped when Killua continued typing. He doesn’t know what to say anyway until Killua texted again.  _ Other than that, I didn’t enjoy anything. The food was tasty though. Holidays aren’t good of a deal for me here… It would be better if I celebrated them with a special someone.  _

_ So, you’re single. _

_ Yea? _

_ And you need a special someone? _ Gon sent a Lenny face, teasing a bit. 

_ Anyone but you. _ Killua replied. 

_ AwW :c _

Killua sent a rolling-eyes emoji.  _ But I’m not going to lie, I appreciate you. _

Gon took a second to absorb Killua’s last message. He had to blink his eyes twice to clear his vision and make sure he’s reading that right. That’s when Killua sent another text.  _ And, you do look hot in that sweater. Red is great on you. _ And there, Gon’s mouth was to the ground because  _ he received the first compliment from the hard-to-get Electrified.  _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wattpad note:  
> Hai!!! Sorry for the long wait, but I'm focusing on TMH because it is gonna be so spicy now TwT
> 
> Also, I'm drawing the selfie Gon has taken, but I wasn't fast enough to apply it to the chapter. I'm going to apply it here when it is done, and it will be posted on my Instagram too :D (The same username as here) 
> 
> Plus, you can find it in the upcoming drawing book smh XD I'm always late, bruh.
> 
> For AO3: I don't know how to apply pictures here yet ;-;


	6. Dallying Chat

Next to the light of his twinkling globe, under the light of his neon glow-in-the-dark stars, Killua stealthily fawned at the picture Gon had sent. He abused his lower lip to prevent a horny smile as he creepily looked at Gon's full posture, hugging the pillow on his lap for some  _ squish-relief _ . Nothing was cropped, no filters, just the real Gon. He had to collect himself and be cool about it when he typed the response, but he was so ecstatic to look at Gon over and over again. He sounded awfully bitter when he sent a sarcastic comment about Gon's naked torso and cropped face. On the other hand, he was right here, right now, fawning at the picture he showed uninterest in a minute before. Gon seemed upset, making Killua's stomach churn. Just, if Ikalgo was here…

He left an hour ago because it was the scheduled time for the Zoldycks to sleep. Oh, how much he bickered with him when Ikalgo snatched his phone mid-conversation and typed  _ I'm laying on tentacles _ . Killua had to go along, a hard blush on his face while Ikalgo enjoyed it, cackling humorously at Killua's annoyed look. He wanted to prove to him that Gon is  _ jealous. _

_ Bitch! Are you awake? _ Killua texted his dear lord-friend. He impatiently waited, spamming their conversation on Discord and Whatsapp. When he nearly spammed Ikalgo's Instagram, the boy finally replied in discord.  _ Wtf?! You found your prince, snow-white?! _

Killua rolled his eyes, typing what happened and how he received another picture from Gon. Just like girls who gossip 24/7. However, before he sent it, Ikalgo sent another text again.  _ Or did your knight in shining armor knock on your door in the middle of the night?  _ Killua added another part to his story about Gon by saying  _ And It's not even the middle of the night yet. _ Ikalgo took a while to reply, probably reading the whole essay Killua sent about what happened. Then, Gon sent a message.

_ I look hot in red, eh. _ And a smirky face. Killua's cheeks went hotter, he clicked on the message to be taken to Gon's PM. Gon took a lot of time to reply to Killua’s embarrassing message, and he couldn’t believe that he sent this to him. Afterward, he looked at Gon’s reply as if it's a test question. His heart is beating faster, uncontrollably maybe. He wanted to curse at the reason, but he knows he can't  _ because the reason is so hot for him to curse at.  _ Killua inhaled and typed down his response, ignoring Ikalgo's text.  _ Don't let it get to you, dickhead. Don't make me change my mind. _

_ Sorry, sorry. It means a lot when it is coming from you. Makes me happy and… _ a red heart. Killua's insides screamed, and he couldn't reply. He jumped to Ikalgo's private message and spammed him with letters. Ikalgo exclaimed, then cursed at Killua.  _ He fucking sent a red heart- _ Killua texted, cutting his sentence because he doesn't even know what to say.

Scrolling back up to see Ikalgo's unread message, he wished he didn't scroll up.  _ That beef is simping for you, babe.  _ Killua scrolled down again and cursed at Ikalgo who sent a laughing face.  _ Well, it’s not like the first time you guys send each other hearts, righty, bish? I knew Gon was a bitch for you from the beginning, but I didn't know you're 'peeing' yourself for him too. Such horny dicks. _ Ikalgo continued when Killua replied to his comment with a vomiting emoji. 

_ Can you shut up?! I left him and didn't reply… he's fucking horny, bet. _ Killua texted, sensing the humor in the situation he's in. 

_ Help him get his orgasm, damn. _ Ikalgo nonchalantly texted.  _ Just tell him fuck me daddy and he will SPURT everything out. _ Killua looked at the chat, absorbing what Ikalgo just said.  _ You're drunk. _ Killua texted, so Ikalgo sent a few laughing emojis. He's definitely drunk but not wasted. Killua knows when he talks like that. 

_ Imma take him from ya if you don't be fast. _ Killua decided to stop talking to him, and he ended up more anxious and desperate for a solution to his problem. 

He pressed Gon's icon and scrolled back up to the picture. How many people  _ online _ had to see that?  _ Bruh _ . Killua found himself sending the word that indicates that he's speechless. He saw Gon typing, the three dots moving like a wave for a while before he got a new message. A new message that set him on fire.  _ Bruh is for buddies. We ain't buddies, we grind bodies. _

_ …..terrible of you to…idk what to say honestly. _ Killua started giggling after he reread the statement a few times. Gon's an idiot. He's never scared to be corny, to be flirty, to be sexy, to be an idiot, to be anything… From Killua's perspective, he could be everything. 

He threw himself down to sink into the soft linens of his royalistic comfy mattress; the royalty of it is how comfy it was. Whatever he shares with Gon, it started to feel special. He raised his phone high over his face to comfortably view the screen. Gon was talking about a new topic, colors. He seldom wears red, he said, but he will start wearing it often because Killua liked it. His favorite is green, and Killua wheezed at that. He told him it would look hilarious if he had worn green clothes. However, Gon proved him wrong by sending a picture of him in green jeans, half naked with no shirt to show his abs. It was so sudden that Killua's heart skipped a beat. 

That black messy hair, the black leather mantra bracelet chaining his wrist, that pose, and eyeliners… The eyeliners that took Killua's breath away. Gon's eyes are wide, so when he added that eyeliner, they looked smaller — sexier. It is known, maybe only for Killua, that black eyeliner makes the eye smaller, however, white eyeliner makes it bigger. As someone interested in makeup, Killua was fawning  _ harder _ at that fitting smirk, at those stand-out ambers, at everything… Gon's physically perfect.  _ Give me one flaw about that body. _ It wasn't meant to be hot, but as Killua reread his text, it was  _ hot _ . And he wants to be disgusted with Gon’s body, so he waited for Gon to give him something about his body that is horrible, so he can hate it. It is not healthy to love someone who is so far from you.  _ Something you're insecure about in your body. _ Killua texted again as if he was in a daze. 

_ What do I get in exchange? _ Gon replied. Killua was brought to his senses, and so he blushed. What did he say? What did he do? The questions were like rap music in his head, repetitively circulating in a circuitous way. He bit his lip and sent a small  _ nvm. _

Gon wasn't happy about it because he sent a frown emoji, then an unamused emoji, so Killua groaned aloud. Of course, Gon would ask that, it would look like Killua is taking advantage of him if he doesn't send anything back, or say something as great.  _ I have six heads. _ Killua texted, and for the first time, Gon sent a rolling-eyes emoji.  _ Alright, fine. I will tell you something I usually don't tell anyone about _ .

_ It is better worth it. Something concerning our conversation, beau. _ Gon's statement wasn't overall seductive. Killua felt threatened but not in a bad way. Ikalgo had asked Killua to send him Gon's picture, but he was long forgotten until he suddenly started spamming.

_ OI! OIIII! YOU REPLACED ME WITH A DICKHEAD. COME BAAAACK _ . Full of drama, Ikalgo's reply was. Killua chuckled, deciding to go and chat with Ikalgo for a minute to calm him down. In that way, he'd make sure Gon is as desperate as possible to know that thing Killua doesn't say to anyone. He flopped to his side, cheek grazing his soft stuffed-with-feather pillow, and chatted with Ikalgo for a minute. He told him that there's no way he will replace him and that insecure ass should calm down. Afterward, Gon sent a question mark. Killua grinned, enjoying himself as the one who teases instead of being teased. He started typing, cheeks tinted in red.  _ It's related to what we are talking about, aka body. _

_ I'm interested. _ Gon directly texted back.

_ I'm fat as fuck. _ Killua texted, his heart's abnormally beating without a reason.

_ And you don't say that to anyone? _ He sent the face with a monocle, and Killua puffed his cheeks.  _ Being fat is not a flaw… I wanted something else. _

_ What did u wanna know exactly?  _ Killua frowned, flipping to lie on his back again.

_ Something deeper. Hidden from the eyes. SEXY. _ Gon replied.

_ Bruh. _ Killua texted speechlessly, wholly embarrassed.  _ Alright, fine. I'll be serious. _

_ Fucking finally. _ Gon replied, which added a smile to Killua's rosy ivory cheeks. 

_ I'm not like any common guy you could meet in the street.  _ Killua texted, trying to be as mysterious as possible.  _ And if I passed by you, it would be hard not to look at me. _

_ DAMN. YOU'RE HAWT. _ Gon replied, and Killua couldn't handle how his body felt like dough in Gon's hands.  _ So, you meant you’re thicc instead of fat. _ After Gon’s second reply, the smirk emoji stood, burning Killua alive.

_ No, idiot! Turn on your brain! You have no fuses! _ Killua threw the phone beside him, sitting up and rubbing his face bashfully. What did that idiot think of him when Killua described that? Once he calmed down for a bit, he clutched his phone again to read Gon's recent text.  _ I bet a thousand that you're hot. _

_ Then you lost, dummy. _ Killua replied.

_ You're different, you said. _ Gon challenged shortly after, and Killua's heat was rising again. 

He didn't notice the hour, the twelve striking.  _ I'm not hot. My looks aren't very common, that's that. _ Killua texted again, pointing a little bit about his insecurity towards his albinism. He absentmindedly wrapped a strand of his hair around his finger, softly tugging it repetitively. 

_ I'm so curious rn. _ Gon replied, and for an instant, Killua heard him suck on his breath very sexily — he imagined him doing that, and he couldn’t scrap the thought anymore.  _ Well, my body flaw is I have a squishy ass. _ Then, Gon texted again.

_ Is that a flaw? _ Killua replied, sending a laughing face. He couldn't believe that Gon just said that. And he was typing, maybe trying to answer Killua's sarcastic question.  _ Yes, it is a flaw for me as a dom! Squishy asses are for submissive people who need to be squished! _ It felt like Gon was yelling throughout his text, but Killua was covering his lips to stop himself from laughing. What did he just read? Is Gon serious right now?  _ Say, do you have that flaw too? _ Killua puffed his cheeks. It was hard to breathe, it was hard to resist the urge to scream, and it was hard to maintain a straight face. 

He reluctantly touched his ass, cursing at himself about what he's doing. Damn, he does have an ass…  _ so? _ Gon texted again.

_ You are a pervert. _ Killua replied. He wasn't going to  _ describe _ his ass. That's too weird, especially when Gon said squishy asses are for submissive people who need to be squished. Killua cackled again, screenshotting that particular thing and sending it to Ikalgo. As expected, Ikalgo went into a  _ wheezing _ fit, so Killua joined.  _ I'm not a pervert! I'm only curious!  _ Gon interrupted their time, and Killua was still smiling. He clicked on Gon's message and typed. 

_ Yea, you're just dying to know if I'm submissive or not, squishy ass. _ Killua said, giggling again. He loved teasing, but Gon wasn't easily down. 

_ Yes. I wanna know if you... Yanno? _ Killua finally threatened Gon to block him if he didn't shut up. However, Ikalgo was daring him to continue, turn kinky, he said. His friend is having fun by throwing Killua around like that.  _ Bro! Tell him how squishy you are! _ Ikalgo sarcastically texted, sending countless laughing emojis. Killua fully refused, but he finally agreed to Ikalgo’s bet to  _ turn kinky. _

_ Fine! Just for the bet! _ Killua texted his dear friend, who just formed a bet that if Killua won, Ikalgo would convince his parents to hang out somewhere at Killua's favorite place the next morning — on Christmas day. Killua just wants to go caroling and disturbing all the snobbish peeps around them anyway. He accepted the dare, not only because he wants to leave this solitude, but also because he wanted to work out in the nearby gym. It won't be crowded there because it is a luxurious gym. If they're lucky, Killua and Ikalgo might have the whole gym for them tomorrow. Clicking on Gon's name, he called out his name. Gon sent a question mark since it's a rarity for Killua to start a topic anyway. 

_ I adore muscular shit and I normally like to put my hands all over that meat.  _ Gon directly sent a ‘stunned’ face. Yes, he's shocked, and Killua is loudly screeching and fighting himself to be silent. Ikalgo rang once and Killua directly answered his discord call. "I did it."

_ "What did he say?" _ Ikalgo's dry voice replied, then Killua heard a sniffle. He did drink a lot after all. 

"He didn't say anything. Just sent a shocked— Holy! He's typing!" Killua bit his lip, anticipating the reply that Gon would get it down. Maybe, he'd be so embarrassed, or he'd tell Killua not to say something like that because it is weird. Nevertheless, Killua was shocked by Gon's text.  _ Wanna call? I kinda wanna hear your voice for a second time. _

_ "What did he say?!" _ Ikalgo asked when Killua went silent.  _ "Snow-white!" _

"He wanna call."

" _ Yep. He's horny for you now. I bet he needs that voice to je—" _

"BYE!" Killua directly hung up on his best friend, who was everything but a wise friend in a situation like this. 

_ Yea? Wut u say? Gotta get in a sleepy call before we bunk down? _ Gon texted again, so Killua abused his lower lip, making his cheeks air sacks for a while before exhaling to answer. 

_ Aight, just for some minutes. _ Gon went typing as fast and saying,  _ cool beans. _ And Killua's phone had the calling episode. Killua's heart was vibrating the same way as his phone. He hesitantly picked up, plugging his earphones and waiting silently. Nope, Killua is never going to say hello first, not in a million times.

_ "Hey, there." _ Oh, God. That deep voice is back into Killua's sensitive ears. It was an incursion, trudging into Killua's ears without permission. That deep and sexy tone kills and revives Killua one hundred times over.  _ "Can you hear me?" _

"Yeah, yeah. Uh, hi." He's very awkward, awkward enough that his cheeks are a deep crimson. He doesn't have to see them to know, because they're burning and giving all of his body enough warmth. "What's up?" Not cool like he thinks it would've been. At least not when they had a steamy conversation before the call. And Killua thought he could play it off as normal, what a joke. He's burning, and oh how much he wishes to hang up on him and just disappear under his blankets. 

_ "Just wanna hear ya talk." _

"For what?" He hates himself. For real? Not only asking a stupid question, but also stuttering like an oaf. He chewed his inner cheek, waiting for Gon to laugh it off and be seductive or sarcastic. Anything just to cover that embarrassment Killua asked. 

_ "Are you nervous?" _ Gon's tone was full of mockery, and he wasn't intending to let the topic go. Just when Killua wanted him to be an idiot for once, he flipped instead.

"No?" Killua wanted to whine. Stop trying to act cool because you're making yourself look like a dumb oaf, Killua thinks, but it doesn't matter, the tea is out of the pot. 

_ "Yeah, sure. Whatever you say. Did I mention how sweet your voice is?" _ Gon asked again, making the situation overall bad for Killua. 

"Yeah… I guess." He stuttered, again.

_ "Nice. I was wondering what else is sweet." _

"Stop assaulting me!" Killua whined, which looked too sweet to be an angry whine.

_ "You look like you're enjoying it." _ And Gon laughed. Then, Killua's heart skipped a beat. What's wrong with him? Why is he so hot? Why is Killua into him so much? Gon's right, he's enjoying this, but he doesn't wanna admit it.  _ "I know my limits." _

"Doesn't seem like you do." How breathy Killua has turned is something he should keep a note on. His voice started to become breathy, maybe because of how hot he is. The sex talk had dimmed down after Killua's remark. He regretted it a bit because he was enjoying it, a little bit? However, the talk with Gon wasn't overall bad. They talked more about Gon, and surprisingly Killua talked about a few things such as his hobbies and what he often does, chocolate as his favorite, and forever food. Gon told him that they are like the yin and yang because Gon loves white chocolate. "Are you always an idiot?"

_ "If being an idiot is a requirement to speak with you until this hour, then yes." _ He had to throw some stupid pick up lines throughout their conversation. Killua was enjoying them overall, but he thought things won’t get any worse for him. Sadly for him, there was a purpose for that call.  _ “So, you told me you like muscular shit.”  _ Gon finally started, making Killua silent. Even Killua’s breath wasn’t heard. It was easier to complete the bet in their chat, but Gon had other thoughts. And Killua now regrets it. The way Gon emphasized  _ muscular shit _ made the hair of Killua’s body stand up.  _ “And you like putting your hands on that meat. What meat?” _

“What… do you mean?” Killua mumbled embarrassingly. He will suffocate Ikalgo to death after this although it was his fault for accepting the bet. 

_ “Wow…” _ Gon replied, which was followed by a little snicker. The awkwardness, the embarrassment, Killua felt was high. He had to say something to redirect that sexual tension to something friendly. 

“I like beef. It is tasty.” Killua screeched inside. What is he saying, acting like a noob when he was smashed by other men before. Nonetheless, no one was as kinky, seductive, and straightforward as Gon. They’d just meet with Killua when he’s horny at a bar or anywhere, sometimes they could be strangers, and so they look at each other, eyes talking. They’d go somewhere private if Killua was swapped a little by how hot they are, smash, and everyone leaves. And he called Gon by a thot…

_ “Beef… What kind of beef?” _

“Holy mother. You’re horny.” Killua couldn’t run away from the topic anymore. His throat was dry by Gon’s short replies. They were too short, which made them too hot. Knowing how Gon looks like makes it harder for Killua because of his imagination. 

_ “I’m not horny!” _ Gon’s deep voice shifted slightly to object, but he was trying to keep low.  _ “But you are the horny one, and I’m so shocked that I wanna know what’s in your mind at the moment, especially after your last text.” _ Killua was speechless. What’s in his mind? Gon obviously, trying to add that sexy tone to what he’d seen from the pictures Gon sent.  _ “It’s me.” _

Killua finally groaned. “Why is everyone around me drunk today?”

_ “It’s Christmas, baby. The plot twist is, I’m not drunk at all.” _

“Ha Ha, so funny.”

_ “Is it? Maybe I’m a little high after hearing your voice.”  _ Killua mentally rolled his eyes, but he was too reluctant, too shy to say anything. He pressed the phone on his ear not to fall, covering his chest with the blankets because he suddenly felt insecure. Gon might be thinking he’s a supermodel, and he can’t blame him. Good looking men always think the ones they are interested in are also good looking. This makes Killua insecure because Gon might just say  _ oh! You’re so ugly, sorry bro! I have to leave! _ That’s why Killua is too hesitant to be comfortable with Gon whenever the latter flirts. He always finds himself thinking about what Gon is thinking of him at the moment.  _ “Gotta stay silent? Say, what are you wearing right now?” _ Gon suddenly said. His voice was a little groggy, so Killua knew he was sleepy. 

“What kind of question is that?” Killua asked embarrassingly. He looked down at his light blue fluffy pajama, then blushed. He’s definitely not telling him. 

_ “I’m trying to imagine what you look like. Mind you! You saw me three times, but I couldn’t! At least tell me what you are wearing right now, jee.” _ Gon whined, bubbling something in Killua’s stomach. It felt heavy but light, churning, and twisting. He’s too embarrassed…

“I didn’t ask you to show me…”

_ “I just slipped off my Christmas clothes. Ah, feels so much better to sleep nakey, nakey.”  _ Killua slapped his face, and he didn’t mean to make that audible, but Gon heard it. Unfortunately. 

“I didn’t wanna know that.”

_ “I did it because you’re not telling me.” _

“Bruh.”

_ “Bruh is following me around even in a voice chat?” _

“Bruh.”

Gon remained silent. Killua wondered why, but Gon was obviously trying to find out if Killua was nervous or irritated. He’s speechlessly teased, Killua is.  _ “Okay, just tell me anything to help me imagine the setting you’re in. It’s not fair for you to know and imagine everything when I can’t, Killua.” _ He was a little serious now, and it makes Killua feel a little content. 

“Uh… glow-in-the-dark stars?” Killua mumbled.

_ “Ohhh! That’s so cute!” _

“Can’t sleep without them…”

_ “I’d love to have some. Maybe green.” _

“Mine are neon blue.”

_ “Yes, yes. Your favorite color.” _ The chat wasn’t at all sexual now. Killua finally calmed down and started telling Gon about his private bathroom, his snowglobe, his easel. It is easy to describe his room, but he stumbles a lot when he has to describe himself. Gon was enjoying it whatsoever, asking Killua more about where he stores his paintings. 

“Well, I give them to Ikalgo, and he stores them in his basement. I’m way worried about keeping them here because of my siblings.” 

_ “Ikalgo?” _ Killua shut up at the question. He just told Gon Ikalgo’s name. He told a stranger without Ikalgo’s permission!  _ “Tentacles?” _

“Yeah… Don’t tell him I slipped…” Gon snickered when Killua stammered. 

_ “That was so cute… How come a savage Electrified is the cutest thing I’ve ever met? Reminds me of caramel, our previous neighbor’s cat… No one dares to mess with her, but when she sees me, she meows and becomes an angel.” _

“Now, I’m a pet. Thank you.”

_ “It’s not an insult!” _ Gon laughed sincerely for a while. This one wasn't full of mockery or teasing. It was sincere, pure, loud, and funny. It made Killua smile at it.  _ “It’s been a while since I laughed like that… I really enjoy hanging out with you although it’s just a voice chat…” _ Gon confessed. 

“Uh, me too… Um, you’re fine…” Killua mumbled… “Just, stop saying embarrassing things, idiot.” 

_ “Never! You become so cute and sweet when I tease you.” _ When Killua didn’t reply, trying to fight his inner blushing, Gon suddenly said,  _ “Oh, God… It’s five here… I have to sleep because in like two hours, I will go with my aunt to open the bar.” _

“Your aunt owns a bar?” Killua was so impressed. Gon never talked about family-related stuff before. Only once about being upset because of his dad. 

_ “Yep. It gets too crowded on Christmas day. Also, little children might drag me away to carol…” _

“Gon, don’t forget about corona… It is dangerous…” Killua replied, thinking about how crowded that place might be with smokers and alcoholics. “When will you be free?”

_ “Hmmm… I think I won’t be free at all today. The bar will stay open until midnight… I might not be able to talk to you or on the server at all…” _

“Oh, just don’t forget your mask and wear gloves… I think it won’t be too crowded because of COVID.” Gon sexily laughed, cutting Killua’s logical stance confusedly. 

_ “First, I will wear gloves and a mask, wifey, don’t worry. Second, I belong to a small island. People here aren’t that educated. My aunt is, though. But generally speaking, the islanders here are as oblivious as a potato.” _ Killua didn’t focus on the second part of Gon’s speech. What did Gon just say at first? Wifey? What? He’s not a tomato now, he’s the whole ketchup.  _ “They don’t care about sicknesses, and they say that they are strong enough to fight it. It’s kinda worrying because Corona could be really dangerous.” _

“Yeah, especially on kids and elders,” Killua replied, playing with a strand of his hair, ignoring Gon's slip-up tease even though he's burning.

_ “Luckily, there aren't so many children here… But the elders are a lot.” _ Killua hummed, hearing Gon shuffle for a bit.  _ “Oh. Palm is coming to help me and my aunt in the bar!”  _ He excitedly said, startling Killua for a while.  _ “She just texted me, that early bird.” _

“Bruh. Stop flirting with everyone.”

_ “I’m not flirting. I only flirt with you.” _

“I’m having a hard time believing that.” Killua snarkily replied, rolling his eyes angrily. He hates people like Gon so much. 

_ “She’s my ex by the way… I do have a few exes, but she’s the only one who understood me and forgave me. I respect her.” _

“Yeah, yeah. Hope your relationship gets fixed. Imma go and sleep because I’m not an  _ early bird. _ ” Killua hung up, huffing and going to see the unread messages by other fellow discord peeps. He noticed that Gon sent a red heart and turned offline, so Killua huffed again and went to Ikalgo’s chat. 

_ I fuckign hate him!  _ He didn’t care about his typos. He was just a little pissed for no reason, and he needs Ikalgo right now, but it looks like the boy is in deep slumber. It’s six in the morning where Killua is, but who cares. He found a message from SapphireEyedDoll, so he clicked on her name. 

_ Did you talk to Gon privately the past few days? _ Not even a Hello. Killua ignored her, getting more pissed that she knew his name. Gon is an idiot. He went to Kurapika’s chat to find him online. He couldn't sleep when he’s pissed like that. 

_ Wyd? _ Killua texted. It took a while for Kurapika to start typing, but Killua was happy when he replied. 

_ Fixing a channel in Asteroids. What’s up? _ He texted. Killua lied down again, feeling sleepy when his head hit the pillow.

_ Your friend is horrible. _ Killua texted, and Kurapika directly started typing.  _ What did he do this time? _ Killua rolled to his left, sighing audibly and looking at the screen speechlessly.  _ I hate how attached I’m growing to him. _

Kurapika typed for a while before he sent Killua something he didn’t expect.  _ Gon is great, but he’s also dangerous. Don’t get too close if you’re not ready for heartbreak. _

It was supposed to make Killua stay away, what Kurapika said, but he was more curious to know Gon better. It felt like a challenge to see who will break who. Killua won’t allow anyone to hurt him, not after his traumatizing incident...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Gon's first selfie drawing will be posted on my Instagram x3 and when the next chapter is posted, you will see the 2nd selfie (Gon in Green) x3. I hope that you're having fun reading!
> 
> Also, you can see them on Wattpad, BTO story x3 <3


	7. Leniency

“Gon! Refill!” A customer after the other sought the hot teen’s attention. He turned behind to look at the man and confirm that he caught up to the request. However, both of his hands were preoccupied with trays under empty jugs. He ran behind the counter where his aunt was working at an inhumane speed between washing the glasses and making refills. 

“Faster!” Mito demanded, so Gon rushed to put the empty trays next to her, then took the refills. “Fix that mask, young man.” She noticed Gon’s nose peeking over the mask, glaring at him knowingly. It was just too hard to breathe when it's restraining the air. The draining activity of jumping from one table to the other wasn’t helping at all. Killua said that it won’t be too crowded? Oh, right. Eventually, his eyes with Palm were interlocked together, crossing roads but not stopping. She needed to refill her trays, and oh how much Gon is grateful for her help. 

Despite being her ex, she dropped celebrating Christmas day to work with him and his aunt. Her violet dress swayed erratically at the movement, which was hard to ignore. Gon gifted her the dress on their monthiversary, which made Gon uncomfortable when he saw it on her today. Her hair got longer as well, navy-black curls but combed neatly. She rarely took care of her hair, and it was always messy due to her nervous habit of grasping the curls and tugging. If she’s trying to get Gon back to her embrace, Gon is going to tell her that he’s crushing on someone else. He respects Palm dearly, and she's not one to cry herself to sleep after losing someone she loved. Although she followed Gon with a kitchen knife when he told her about them breaking up, she's the only one who forgave him in the end amongst all the exes he'd gotten.

On the other side of the bar, Abe was sitting with a group of men. All of them are bearded and buff — the local fishermen. She said something, which made them cackle so loud and disrupt the alcoholic atmosphere. Their thick hands hit the surface of the table, and Gon is now scared that the table will break. The smoke fogged the cramped bar like it always does throughout the holidays, and the music of the jukebox had sunk into the rising volumes of cackles and general talk. No one was wearing masks there except Gon and Mito even though Mito begged Abe to put on a mask without avail. “GON!” Gon turned, rushing to the table for refills. Suddenly, one of the men stumbled, taking one of the hung Christmas lights down. He waved idiotically at Gon, laughing drunkenly while the teen was busy refilling with creased eyebrows.

“Gon! Fix that!” Mito yelled, so Gon whined and raised his full hands. Palm passed by, giggling at Gon’s pouty face. She teased him with a smirk, working faster to challenge him. He trotted back to the bar, fully accepting the challenge. He handed Mito the trays and rushed out to fix the miserable accident. What startled him was a red-headed man who was almost done fixing the conflict. “Thank you!” Mito waved for the man, who politely smiled at her. Quite tall, he is. Gon has to look up although Gon isn’t short either. His silky red and gelled hair and his narrowed piercing eyes were too hot, making Gon jealous. 

“Hisoka!” He brightly exclaimed, shaking his hand before getting yelled at by Mito to be faster. “Sorry! I’ll talk to you later!” Hisoka creepily smiled, so Gon chuckled on his way back to help Palm with the trays. He found Hisoka sitting in a corner with a hooded person, so he decided not to disturb. Hisoka rarely comes here, but what Gon knows is that he meets someone in secret in their bar. When Mito was suspicious, she nearly kicked them out under Gon’s watchful eyes. That’s why Hisoka introduced himself and apologized to Mito, then explained that the man he’s meeting up with is his boyfriend. However, he came from a rich family full of homophobic members and acquaintances. Since he’s the heir, his sexuality shouldn’t be exposed. Gon has never seen the man behind the hood, but he didn’t mind. If his aunt was convinced, Gon is also convinced. When they come to the island, they usually spend two days or so in a nearby inn. Gon assumed that they would call that a  _ business trip _ . 

That’s why whenever they stay on the Island, Gon meets Hisoka a lot in the bar. They talk a lot about various topics. Gon never admits it, but Hisoka helped him discover his sexuality in a way or the other. But he’s so secretive, which makes Gon boil out of curiosity. He respects the man a lot for a lot of indirect reasons, and he’s somewhat fond of his looks and fashion. Although he seems rich like his lover, both of them blend well with the islanders because they don’t wear any expensive clothes. “Gon.” Palm suddenly said, so Gon turned to her with a questioning smile. Noticing her sudden blush, he looked away. No, no more flirting today, not after his call with Killua a few hours prior. It didn’t feel right to flirt with anyone else after that. “Do you have any spare masks? I started to get worried because someone is coughing in the background.” A fisherman heard her and laughed aloud. 

“Girly! Don’t be scared! Whale Island banned tourists right after the declaration of COVID. We are fine!” The man said, extending his tone at the end of the word to emphasize how hilarious the topic of the corona is. Palm politely smiled but looked at Gon for the rescue. 

“Yes, yes, you’re right.” Gon laughed along with the fisherman, handing him a refill and taking the empty glass. “But precaution is a must, yannooo!?” Gon bumped his free fist on the man’s shoulder, who cracked a hoarse laugh at Gon’s silliness. Then, he eyed Palm knowingly and both of them went to the employees’ room. 

“Sorry, Gon.” Palm said, putting the tray on the old table. “But I just got worried. I see a lot of bad corona situations on the internet—”

“No, no. Mito did advise you to wear a mask too. Corona isn’t a joke, but townies!” Gon said the last word as a whine, so Palm giggled and waited for Gon to rummage through the drawers and hand her a mask. “Make sure to stick your nose inside even if you’re suffocating, or Mito will glare at you.” 

Palm grinned and eyed Gon as if he's the silliest person ever. She carried the tray after wearing the mask. “I’m sure that she will only glare at you because you’re her son.” Without any bickering, both of them got out again to help more customers. At around two, Gon had a small break. He thanked God a lot that Mito allowed him some freedom to breathe. His ass has been vibrating for two hours now, and he knows that it’s the server’s fault. Why didn’t he mute it? 

Getting out of the small and suffocating bar, Gon slid his mask under his nose to breathe. He clutched his phone and leaned on a rocky ledge. Mito deemed this as his lunch break, but he was in no mood to eat, so he decided to check up on Killua. When Killua crossed his mind, he reminisced about their conversation. A smile stretched his face, but no one would see it so he didn’t bother hiding it. Killua was jealous… It was too obvious, which stretched a huge grin on Gon’s lips. 

He hung up angrily when Gon mentioned Palm. Gon’s heart was beating extremely fast. He should have been offended that Killua hung up, but he was grinning widely at that. He even sent a heart to Killua to make sure the boy would forgive him.  _ Heyya, I’m on my lunch break. Wanna talk? _ Gon texted when he saw Killua online. 

For some reason, Killua turned offline after Gon's text. Gon grumbled, typing again.  _ Ignorin’ me, hottie? _ No answer. Damn, is he that mad about Gon and his ex being together? Maybe Gon is just exaggerating?  _ Killua? _ He texted again. 

_ Wtf? _ Killua texted, but he forgot to be online again, exposing the fact that he went invisible instead of really turning offline. Gon’s smile got wider, knowing for a fact that Killua went invisible  _ Because of him. _ Somewhat, this made Gon happy although it shouldn’t. What made Gon happy is how easily he can understand Killua’s reactions. Killua’s upset and whether the reason was Gon or any other reason, he knows he’s upset. It’s the same as understanding how speechless Killua is when he says 'bruh' instead of anything else. 

_ Missed you. _ Gon texted, but Killua didn’t reply for a while. The waiting made Gon hungry, so he went back inside to take the premade sandwich from the fridge in the employees’ room. When he went back outside, he saw Killua’s text.  _ I didn’t. _

_ Harsh. _ Gon replied. He took the mask off and munched into the sandwich after taking one glove off.  _ I’m wearing gloves and a mask just for you. _

_ Bruh. _ Killua texted. After a while or so with Gon not texting because he’s a bitch and wants to see what Killua will do when he doesn’t text, Killua finally texted again.  _ What do you want anyway? _

_ Why so mean all of a sudden? You’ve been dying for me last night. _ Gon typed, eating faster because of his ecstasy and anticipation to know Killua’s answer. 

_ Correction. You’re the one who begged me for a call. _ Killua texted, not stopping because he really needed to roast Gon and get all of his shit out. Gon knows that Killua's extremely pissed right now.  _ You’ve been dying to hear my voice because you are a bitch. _

_ For you. _ Gon replied.

_ What? _ Killua replied, but he didn’t type anything else, so Gon replied.  _ A bitch for you.  _ He knew that Killua wouldn't reply to that. He just knows him well enough. If he tries to reply, he will keep typing for an hour and ends up with a one-word text. Gon won’t waste his lunch break waiting for Killua’s indecisive text. That’s why he texted again.  _ Let’s be serious for a second. Are you pissed at me because of something I did? I’m sorry if I made your day bad. _

Killua started typing, then stopped. He started typing again, but Gon decided to cut that trance to reply.  _ Stop being nervous and just admit it. You’re jealous. _

_ Wtf? Why would I? _ Killua directly replied. However, the reply seemed calm, or perhaps he was blushing and trying to act calm. 

_ I’m too experienced for you, baby. _ Gon replied, sending a teasing cat emoticon.

_ Oh? Then why are you speaking with me? _ Killua texted, the venom was seeping through his text. 

_ What I mean is: I understand these moves easily. And I'm speaking with you… Because I like you. _ Gon texted, testing the waters in the wrong hour. He knows, but he just likes to play at the wrong time; it’s a lot of fun.  _ Fuck off, Gon. I’m already interested in someone else. _

Now that was a shock. Gon reread Killua’s text with wide eyes, tossing the last bite of his sandwich in his mouth as if he's ready for a fight. He didn’t misread, he's sure after rereading. Killua is trying to tease him only, right? He didn’t tell Gon that there is someone that Killua crushes on! They’ve been talking for quite a while and they know a lot of things about each other, so he’s sure Killua would’ve told him, right?!  _ Who? _ Gon asked and hoped that Killua wouldn't catch his desperation through the text. 

_ Palm. _ Killua texted.

_ DASSA PLOT TWIST. _ Relaxing, Gon guffawed. For a moment, his heart was squeezing anxiously, but he’s in full relief when Killua said Palm. He was obviously retorting, which also sheds a light that Killua is  _ really _ jealous of Palm.  _ You scared me. _ Gon confessed. 

_ Why would you be scared? _

_ Don’t act like an idiot.  _

_ I’m not acting. _

_ Because I don’t want to know that someone who’s able to be there with you beat me to you. _

_ I DO NOT understand. And I DO NOT want to understand.  _ Killua texted back, but Gon’s heart was racing. It was abnormally hard to say that although he said it a lot to his exes before. It was a little different when he said that to Killua. Perhaps because they’re online friends?

_ Well. Okay… You don’t have to.  _ Gon replied, but he had a second thought. He deleted his text, but Killua sent a question mark to alert Gon that he already read it, but Gon didn’t mind. He typed what he had in mind after,  _ I won’t be upset in the slightest if you had a bf or a Crush AT ALL mhm. I might flip my shit only. _

_ Why are you telling me that all of a sudden…. _ Killua texted although it was obvious that he’s somewhat worried.  _ I don’t know if you’re joking or not anymore. _ He texted again, so Gon inhaled. He was going to text back but someone called out for him. 

“Gon. May I have a minute?” Gon turned towards the voice to see Hisoka with a weird smile. At first, Gon was so creeped out by Hisoka’s first appearance, but he’s used to it now. It’s just a habit to smile and act like that because of his  _ Hierarchy _ , or that’s what he said. Gon doesn’t even know how to spell that. 

“Of course! Just give me a second.” Hisoka waved and waited when Gon turned back to Killua’s private message.  _ Beau, I have to go. Someone needs to talk to me before my break ends. _

_ First, stop calling me that. Second, yeah, go to Palm. _ Gon couldn’t stop his grin, so he covered his mouth with the mask. He was able to feel Hisoka’s gaze piercing into him, and he doesn’t want to seem weird to someone who he idolizes.  _ We will talk about that when I go back home. _ Gon sent a winky face, but Killua started typing. 

_ No need, bruh. Idc. I’m just jk.  _ Even though Gon knows Killua is bluffing, he sent a heart and didn’t bicker about it. Killua would do his best to look nonchalant, but that won’t work on Gon. He understands Killua enough, but he hopes that he’s not too confident about himself and makes himself embarrassed. 

Finally, he went to Hisoka and tilted his head. Hisoka smiled, obviously not wearing a mask, like always. “I need to ask for a favor.” Gon hummed, looking at Hisoka’s narrowed eyes and creepy smile. They look suspicious standing aside in a corner with Hisoka’s creepy smile. 

“Free drink?” Gon assumed. 

“No. Something bigger.” 

“We don’t sell drugs.” Hisoka let out a deep chuckle, making Gon cough embarrassingly. His wit is  _ nothing _ compared to this man. He threw a teasing joke, but he’s the one who ended up embarrassed. “So, what do you want from a peasant like me, rich man?” 

“I was wondering if you could come with me…” Hisoka trailed off, clearly trying to think of a way to word his sentence. Gon raised his eyebrow, checking his phone to see if Killua said anything, nothing. “I want to marry.” Gon shot back up at Hisoka, who had that creepy smile but a pink tint on his ghostly skin. 

“How can I help you with that?” Gon mumbled, murmuring like Hisoka although he doesn’t understand why they’re talking in hushed tones. 

“Be my witness for signing the marriage papers. I have no one on my behalf, and we can’t trust anyone. You know, my boyfriend and his status are so important, so it will be a secret marriage.” Gon frowned, shaking his head. “I’m seventeen, remember?”

“Oh.” Hisoka’s puzzled face made Gon feel bad. He hummed thoughtfully, thinking of a way to help Hisoka with his dire situation. Hisoka seemed to be waiting after Gon’s thoughtful hum. “This is so complicated,” Hisoka said, rubbing the knot between his eyebrows. He was trying to make Gon feel bad, so he could help. He knows that there is no one trustworthy on his behalf, which was a sad story. His hopes were hanging on Gon because the boy is the purest he’d ever met. Maybe he’s high on hormones, but if someone needs help, he’s always there for them.

“I think I will ask my aunt.” Hisoka looked at Gon, shock was a dress to his features. 

“Are you sure she won’t decapitate both of us?” He asked, looking at Gon with an unimpressed pout. 

“She won’t. You guys are adults, so she might be sympathetic that you can’t marry because of statuses and shit. There is hope that she might agree to be your witness. Unless she’s too scared to leave the house because of Corona.” Gon said the last word humorously, but Hisoka smiled creepily again to express his gratitude. Some people going inside the bar eyed Hisoka weirdly, nudging Gon to attract his attention. 

“Is he doing anything, Gon Boy?” One of them, a fisherman who Gon knows, asked while glaring at Hisoka. The teenagers turned to them, waving his hands dismissively. He nervously laughed, attracting more suspicion.

“Not at all! He’s a friend of mine!” Both of them stood next to Gon on each side and glared at Hisoka. 

“Mind you, sir. He’s seventeen.” One of them said, and Gon looked apologetically at Hisoka who was creepily smiling at them. 

“I know that,” Hisoka said, scaring them further and making Gon mentally dead. He forced them inside the bar and calmed them down. “He’s not a creep, I swear!”

“Gon—”

“The drink is on the house!”

“Thank you—”

“Just go!” Gon shut the door behind him, turning to Hisoka whose smile never dulled. “Wear your mask for God’s sake.” Hisoka’s smile went bigger, closing his eyes to show how impressed he is. Islanders will never like this man around their children or mature daughters — at all. 

“Your aunt won’t be afraid. She’s leading a whole bar full of alcoholics so confidently. She’s so impressive.” Hisoka continued their conversation as if nothing just happened. He wasn’t offended in the slightest. “I love him so much, Gonnie. I’d die if we didn’t marry.” Gon shivered at Hisoka’s dramatic voice, dismissing him and going inside together to find Mito. 

“Mom, he needs help.” Mito turned to them, looking at Hisoka and Gon back and forth. Her hands sunk in water and soap even though it was a little too cold to wash the glasses in cold water. Sadly, there is no heating system for their bar. 

“Sure?” She mumbled. They told her what Hisoka wants. At first, she refused. She said that she has a lot of work to be able to go somewhere so far to be a witness, but when Gon went to continue working, Hisoka stayed with her. Gon even spotted him washing the glasses. 

He pities Hisoka right now. But he also saw something in his eyes. True love. Does love really make someone so desperate that someone who has butlers bathing him to wash the dishes just to marry that person? Gon turned to look at the person who’s wearing a hoodie. Who’s the second witness? Maybe someone Hisoka’s lover trusts? He sympathizes with the fact that they have to live their lives secretly, which is kinda upsetting. 

He didn’t know that living a decent life with little money has more freedom than being rich until this specific moment. Palm excused herself to take her break, high-fiving Gon along the way. He thanked her for the help before she disappeared into the employees’ room. 

Gon didn’t notice how his day passed by until the place wasn’t cramped anymore. It was almost twelve, and the remains were a few fishermen chatting about a wife of one of them. “I’m sure it’s a girl.” The fisherman said when Gon was collecting the empty glasses from their table. Palm was long gone to her house, which leaves Gon and Mito in the bar. His grandmother left the bar before twilight too. The remaining customers were the group of fishermen, Hisoka, and his lover. Hisoka was still working with them with an unimpressed look. So every time Gon looks at him, he chokes in laughter. “But, I know it’s a girl for a fact.” 

His friends laughed, and Gon turned back to look at the soon to be a father fisherman. “Why are you so confident about that?” One of them asked, and Gon stayed standing with a smile because he was curious. 

“They say if the pregnant woman falls on her belly then it’s a boy, and if she falls on her butt then it’s a girl.” Everyone cackled so hard and Gon giggled along with them. The hooded man was looking at them stealthily, perhaps intrigued about the topic too. 

“You’re such an old man.”

“It’s true! My mom fell on her belly and she got me.” Gon’s grin was so wide. The old cackles from this specific table are what Gon calls home. He lived his entire life like that, so he doesn't feel content until he hangs out with those crinkled people. He misses them and wishes to beat coronavirus for taking that home from him. "If I get a girl, I will make sure to traumatize any boy that comes her way." Fishermen cackled, hitting the soon-to-be father on the head and shoulders. They don't agree even though the man said that no man deserves his daughter. They pointed at Gon, who took a step back. "There is! Wish her a man like Gon!" One yelled, and everyone cheered, patting Gon on the back. He was looking down sheepishly, but he wasn't happy that they wished that girl someone like him.

He giggled with them and retreated stealthily to put the empty glasses for Hisoka to wash. They eyed each other, and Gon had to look at Hisoka's messy hair. "Are you washing the glasses with your hair or something?" Gon pointed out, snickering at the pissed off look on Hisoka's face. It's fun to see that creepy smile gone.

“Ah. My hands are dry. I have to apply cream after this.” Hisoka said and raised his arms as if they were frozen in a creepy pose. His whine seemed to be a moan, so all the fishermen turned to him and Gon who jumped at their stares. Mito laughed at them, shaking her head. 

“Everyone is so protective over my baby,” Mito said, so Gon turned with a warm smile. He stood in front of the bar where she cleaned and handed him a wet piece of cloth to wipe the tables. “We’re closing, everyone!” The fishermen grumbled, standing up to pay and leave. Some of them gave Gon a strong pat on the back, so he lightly stumbled. Once they were alone, Hisoka turned to Mito. 

“You won’t pay me for help?” He asked, so Mito turned and took off her mask to smile as creepily. “Oh, that’s a good one. Are you my long lost sister?” It was surprising. Mito's smile gave Gon creepier vibes than Hisoka's.

“I might be. Also, I accept your offer. Visit to tell me when you need us to come. I will bring Gon with me if you don’t mind.” Gon jumped excitedly when his aunt agreed. Not only they will get to leave the house, but they will attend a marriage ceremony! “After all, Gon called me mom. I take that deeply when he requests something from me.” Hisoka’s smile got wider, bowing silently to Mito before turning to his lover. He stood up and waited for Hisoka next to the door. 

“At least thank her, rude apple.” Gon trembled at Hisoka’s tone. His lover came closer, muttering a thank you to Mito before getting out. Hisoka paid, even when Mito refused his money, and got out. "The duo are weird." She muttered while cleaning the surface of the bar. "I hope that it's worth getting my hands dirty." Gon chuckled whilst putting the chairs over the tables. 

"That's not even dirty, auntie. I beg to differ. We're helping to build a home." 

"I'm happy you're saying that." Her remark made Gon blush. He looked at Mito uncomfortably when she reminded him of a bad memory. In the end, he couldn't deny that people marry for love. And no one can deny that love won't last forever.

Finally closing the shop together, Gon turned to find Noko, one of his exes but also a really close friend, standing outside. Mito seemed shocked when she saw her. “Noko? What are you doing here at this hour?” Mito disciplined when Gon looked down at the ground, avoiding Noko’s gaze. She's still the same with her short brick-color hair, big puppy eyes, and innocent child face. All of that makes Gon guiltier. 

She came closer to the duo and handed Gon a small basket full of chocolate. “Merry Christmas.” She said it while looking at both Gon and Mito, bowing, then leaving without another word. Gon was looking at where she left to suddenly be startled by a ringing slap on his shoulder. 

“If I ever heard that you played with a girl’s heart again, I’m going to confiscate your life.” Mito threatened, obviously irritated by him. Gon looked sheepishly at the ground to avoid the devil's glare. “You’re lucky her dad loves you. She was depressed because of you for months. Her dad would’ve killed you if you weren’t my child.” 

Gon followed Mito towards the hill. He never meant to hurt anyone, and all of them seem to love him too much not to hate him. It looks like he's the only dick on this island… 

°•~~~~•°

His head rested atop Ikalgo's thigh, and he talked about the events that he had been through since Ikalgo went to sleep. How it all started in dreamland and ended crashing in reality when Gon talked about his exes. Christmas day was the dullest Killua could ever imagine it would be. It's not nice to spend it in bed with a plate of sugar cookies when he thought he's going to disturb neighbors with Ikalgo. But everything was fine until Gon texted on his lunch break, saying he'll text after the shift and leaving Killua all pissed like that.

"I'd never think you'd be that upset about someone else's background," Ikalgo mumbled while running his hand into Killua's soft curls. Killua stared at his best friend's face, that short pastel pink hair with little strands falling on his fair-tone forehead. These black eyes looked like a huge pupil instead of having an iris due to how dark they are. He's like a supermodel in Killua's eyes. And sometimes, he envies Ikalgo for being  _ normal. _ The fair tone and his natural black hair, which makes Killua wonder why he always dyes it. It was so good on him before dying it to pink and other colors. Perhaps, even Ikalgo has insecurities. 

"I'm not upset. I'm just pissed." Killua replied startling Ikalgo who stopped playing with his curls. "I mean… Gon makes me react differently, and I don't know how to feel about him anymore."

"I never thought I'd hear you say that about someone you've never met in real life." Ikalgo's serious, and Killua knows why. His dear friend doesn't want him to suffer again. He doesn't want to see Killua trapping himself inside without food, just crying nonstop. 

Even his family was worried. His dad had to stop going to his company to force Killua out of the room and go with the Carson family on a trip to take Killua out of that incident. "Yeah, me neither," Killua mumbled, shaking his head dazedly. "I'm not even sure what I think of him honestly. But he's trying a lot."

"I just remembered that he's on my friend's list after you guys got in the first fight. If you want, I can tell him to stop being a desperate dick." Killua chuckled and shook his head. His heart swelled a little because of his friend's concern. "You really shouldn't come closer if you think he's… different from others to you. I mean, I don't want you to be hurt." 

Killua sat up, scrolling into his phone to show him Gon's selfie with the green pants, posing, hot and half-naked. "That hit differently for me." Ikalgo stared at the selfie, sighing dramatically to make Killua's blush deeper. 

"I know that muscles are your weakness." Ikalgo sarcastically said, so Killua rolled his eyes. Suddenly, Ikalgo raised his shirt to expose his abs for Killua. He stuck his tongue out, which gave the picture of his piercings fully. A tongue piercing, two left eyebrow piercings, nose piercing, and piercings all over his left ear along with one piercing in his right ear — the full picture. "My abs are sexy too, yanno?" Ikalgo wiggled his abs to make Killua giggle aloud. He fell down on Ikalgo's thigh again when Ikalgo covered himself. "Let's be serious now. Don't get hurt, baby."

"Mhm…" Killua shut his eyes, enjoying the peacefulness for a while before opening them again to continue. "He said that he'll talk to me after he comes back from the bar, but he didn't."

"Aw, my sensitive boy." Ikalgo's voice thinned to coo at Killua gently yet sarcastically, but Killua is feeling petty.

"I don't understand him."

"Forget about the dickhead and let's convince your parents to leave. We didn't leave yesterday to carol, I'm sorry. My hangover was an ass." Killua snorted, shaking his head with a smile.

"You are a bitch for drinking that much when you're underage."

"Now, you care?! We always drank a shit ton."

"I wonder if Gon drinks."

"Killua, I will beat your ass if you bring him up again." Killua dramatically gasped at his threat, but he continued nonchalantly.

"His aunt owns a bar, so maybe he slips some?" Killua questioned, forcing Ikalgo to roll his eyes. He suddenly tightened his grip on Killua's hair, making him hiss aloud and clutching Ikalgo's hands to beg him to stop.

"Why would you care if he drinks or not? Will you lose a child? Will you gain money? You won't benefit anything if you know he drinks or not!" Killua whined, wiggling under Ikalgo's grip that finally loosened.

"Fuck you."

"Please, do. Better than you being fucked by a dickhead."

"He can't fuck me."

"Why not? You're head over heels for him."

"Because he's so far, bro." Killua sat up again, taking his abandoned phone to look at the stand-out selfie of Gon. His cheeks reddened, locking his phone with a sigh. "I hate him."

Ikalgo lied down, cursing silently to piss Killua off. He mumbled the curses as if his life depended on it. Before Killua loses his shit, Ikalgo suddenly said, "Let's go to the gym at least?" He begged him by using his puppy eyes, so Killua couldn't refuse.

"I do need some workout too. I don't wanna gain any fat and lose the muscles I've gained." Killua approved.

"Yuh, just a little bit to define your abs fully, though." Smiling at each other, Killua jumped to change. Taking all of his clothes without shame while Ikalgo found the gym's contact info to notify them about them coming. 

After a while of chatting while Killua chose which sports outfit to wear, he settled on black Nike joggers and a plain white tee. However, before Killua could wear his Nike shoes, someone knocked on his door. Both the teens turned when the door opened to reveal Illumi with his blank stare. "Am I interrupting?" He asked in his monotone voice, so Killua anxiously frowned. Illumi is supposed to return from his business trip tomorrow, which was weird that he came back a day earlier.

"We were going to the gym," Killua said, waiting for Illumi to continue. His silky hair wavered as he walked inside, looking at Ikalgo for a second then back at Killua. When Ikalgo sensed that he's in no place to stay here, he saluted Killua and got out, shutting the door behind him.

"I won't take long, but I have to tell you something."

"If it's about business, please don't," Killua said. He's way too uncomfortable to think about anything else. Ever since the call yesterday, Killua started thinking a little bit more about his feelings, which reminded him of the traumatic incident years ago. It upsets him to no boundaries, and talking about business won't make him feel any better.

"No, it's about me." Now, Killua is shocked. He looked at his brother with raised eyebrows, blinking twice to clear the nonexistent fog. Once he absorbed what Illumi said, he opened his mouth but nothing came out. "I can't tell anyone else."

"Oh," Killua replied, too stunned. "Um, okay. How about we sit and… talk?" It felt too weird because Illumi never took Killua to a corner like that to  _ talk about himself. _ He was always huddled inside a bubble that no one can blow. Killua felt weird, a mix of happiness and curiosity — and fear. What's that thing his big brother wants to say that requires to be heard only by Killua's ears?

They sat on the bed, Illumi was way too uncomfortable. He was sitting at the edge of the bed formally, so Killua sat next to him and crossed his legs. His body was rotated directly to face Illumi. "I know we don't usually talk to each other and all."

"Yeah?"

"But I need a brother today."

Killua remained silent. Life's been shocking a lot lately, playing with Killua like a soccer ball.

"I need you out of all my siblings, so I hope you'd listen."

"I'm all ears, I guess," Killua mumbled. He's definitely the whole ear now of how curious he is.

"Remember Hisokilla?" Killua raised an eyebrow.

"I'd never forgotten how swapped you were by her, yes."

"Well, His name is Hisoka honestly."

"And I thought Hisokilla was too— What?" Killua shut up for a moment, trying to absorb what his brother said. "He?" He then asked to confirm what he's heard.

"Yeah. He's a man, and I… love him so much." Killua's jaw nearly broke because it dropped at the lowest point. He stared at his supposed to be a homophobic brother. Illumi didn't look Killua in the eye at all, and his monotone facial features made it hard for Killua to believe that he's talking about love.

" _ What…?" _ Killua emphasized his question, trying to clear his thoughts,  _ asking _ for more explanation.

"Don't make me uncomfortable," Illumi mumbled, fully facing away from Killua. "Don't make me regret coming here."

Killua was shaken from his shock, coughing to clear his thoughts and finally closing his jaw. He blinked a few times to feel the sense of reality and remained silent. A few heavy seconds of silence passed until Killua dared to ask. "Gay?"

"Pan."

"Oh my god." Killua wiped his face. He's… so excited right now. "I never thought my big brother would know what pansexual is," Killua said behind his hands, voice muffled, but the ecstatic tone was emitting from it. "I'm… I'm so happy."

Illumi stayed silent for a while, waiting for Killua to continue. He finally looked straight again, so the side view of his face was apparent to Killua— monotone as ever. "I thought… I thought Hisokilla— I mean Hisoka was a female, and that was your real type of women or something—"

"It was an anime con, remember? You wanted to go there so bad to cosplay with Ikalgo. It was a good chance to cosplay with Hisoka too, so no one could identify us."

"That's why you— Oh my gosh! That's why you were so desperate to come with us! Saying some shit about being protective, holy shit!" Killua couldn't contain his grin from appearing in his face, looking at his hands instead of his brother not to look like a creep. "And I was wondering why you looked more feminine than him although he was cosplaying the little girl with the red riding hood." Killua laughed aloud at the memory of his brother. The first time he'd seen him blushing. "And you were the wolf." Killua continued giggling.

"Stop. That was so traumatizing for me." Killua's giggles had arisen, so Illumi went silent again until Killua finished laughing. 

"Oh my god." He wiped his tears, allowing the new concept to sink into his head. "I can't believe it." He mumbled, but the smile was too sincere on his lips. He can't be mean and snarky to Illumi now, especially at this specific moment. "And why did you decide to tell me all of a sudden?" Killua finally resumed the real talk. The talk that Illumi came all the way from his chamber to Killua's just to discuss.

"Everyone else is a homophobic here… I have no one else to talk about it but with you." Illumi mumbled, without any due hatred, Killua knows. "And you know the Zoldyck family. I'm in no situation to rebel like you." Killua looked down at his lap to listen. "Although everyone in the family wanted you to be the heir, you refused, declaring how gay you are to everyone without fear." Killua looked at him for a while then looked down at his lap again. He kind of knows what Illumi will say next.

"This threw the weight of being the heir on me. I always wanted to be the heir, that wasn't a problem."

"Until you met him?"

"I think so."

"You want me to be the heir again?"

"No. I'm not that selfish. I saw how better you've become after the family stopped pressing that topic on you. You became happier, so that's not what I came here for."

Killua hummed, sympathizing with Illumi for a bit. "Regarding my status, I can't declare my real sexuality. This will cause a lot of controversy in the family and the media. I can't destroy the family name like that." Killua huffed, ready to protest about how it's not bad to be from the LGBTQ community until Illumi cut him off to continue. " _ I know _ what you want to say, and I now agree to that. But our family  _ doesn't _ . Our customers  _ do not agree _ with that." Killua's shoulders slumped down, looking away with a sullen look.

"What are you going to do?"

"I'm marrying him in secret." Killua shot up, looking at his brother with big doll eyes. Illumi was now looking at him seriously, but his monotone face never changed the whole conversation. "And I want you to be with me. For the first time, I need someone to back me up not to hesitate." Killua's heart was beating fast from shock and excitement. 

"I can't put an eyeliner to piss off the family like you, and I can't throw the marriage documents in front of their faces. But I also want to be selfish when it comes to my identity, but no one has to know about it. My loved one… too."

Killua nodded without hesitating. "Imma back you up until my last breath, bro." Illumi smiled, breaking the ice after the long talk. Killua's cheeks reddened at that. He's never seen his brother smile. They high-fived because Killua forced Illumi to do so as well.

"Who are the witnesses?" Finally asking, wholly forgetting about Ikalgo who was still waiting outside. 

"Well, Hisoka invited someone over. I was so worried at first because they are just acquainted with him, but he said that they are better than everyone he knew in his life."

"Wow, such a good life to trust acquaintances instead of friends. Continue."

"And I think I will invite Chrollo to be my witness."

"You're sure?"

"If I bribed him enough not to say a word, then yes." Staying silent for a while, Illumi finally got up. "Thank you." He mumbled, not waiting for Killua to reply.

Then, he left and shut the door behind him as if nothing happened. After a second, Ikalgo burst through the door while huffing. "Spill the beans, sis. He better not have said something to disturb you. Imma slash! What the fuck? Since when Illumi stays in your room for a solid fifteen minutes?!" Ikalgo rambled, going back and forth in front of Killua who was looking at Ikalgo silently, too shocked to say a word still.

"You okay, baby?!" He clutched Killua's shoulders, shaking him worriedly. "ANSWER ME!" The shaking dramatically increased.

"I'm shocked."

"WHY?!"

"Illumi's a pan." Ikalgo laughed lightly, wiping a nonexistent tear before screaming. "WHAT?"

That's how Killua told him everything, forgetting about going to the gym.

They're going to marry… Killua's excited to be the special guest in his brother's secret ceremony. 


	8. Self-Confrontation

Amongst the dark hallways, Killua ran excitedly to his sister's room. He knocked harshly, so Alluka opened fast with a puzzled look. Killua looked at her cutesy babyface and her flurry pink dress that made her look like a porcelain doll. When she saw it was her dear brother, she stepped aside for him. "Alluka! I'm so happy!" He turned to see Kalluto sitting on Alluka's bed, so he smiled at both of them. He loves it whenever he sees Kalluto and Alluka together. They are closer by age compared with the rest of the family; they are in their early teens. Kalluto seldom hangs out with the rest of the family, only stays behind his mom's back. He likes wearing kimonos a lot, but when he goes boyish, Killua fawns and supports. He supports him either way, but he feels when Kalluto wears a kimono or a yukata is only to attract his mom's attention. 

"What's making you so happy, big brother?" Alluka ecstatically asked. Seeing her brother that happy makes her so happy too. In her simple mind, Killua was wrapped by flying flowers. She saw him like that once when he got out of Milluki's study. Before he got out, she heard boy screams and weird voices as if they were watching a horror movie(?) Then, Killua got out all happy as if he witnessed an angel. She'd never understood what Milluki and Killua watched in his study that day.

Subsequently, the albino slumped down next to Kalluto, arms wide open with a happy sigh. He left Ikalgo in his room to play, so he can bond with his sister. He's now happier to find Kalluto here too. "Things are getting better," Killua said when Alluka joined his other side. Both the young Zoldycks eyed each other then looked down at him. 

"Big brother is in love?" Kalluto mumbled. The pure comment had a huge impact on Killua. Both negative and positive due to conflicted reminiscence and butterflies.

"Oh, no. I mean, maybe. No! It's not what's making me happy right now." Killua calmly stumbled, remembering Gon for an instant. "I had a bonding time with Illumi." Both Kalluto and Alluka gasped. If Kalluto is focusing on him that much, it means the topic is really interesting. 

"You are joking, right?!" Alluka screeched, so Killua shushed her while laughing. 

"No, I'm not. I can't tell you how, but I think that Illumi accepts us now, both of us the way we are." Killua said after standing up to express his joy. Alluka needed a snippet of time to absorb what Killua said. Eyes widening, she screamed and jumped on Killua, wrapping her arms around his neck.

Killua hugged her small figure and spun. Their laughs were loud, joyous, and awestricken. Kalluto stared at them silently, observing his happy siblings and trying to be happy for them, even though emotions confuse him. Oh how much he wants to be hugged by Killua like that, but his autism makes it hard to be a favorite for Killua; it's too hard to tell him that, to explain his need for that.

"Oi, Kalluto," Killua repeated when he stopped laughing with Alluka. When he knew that Kalluto noticed him again, he opened his arms wide. The youngest's eyes widened, nervously rushing to jump into Killua's hug, or Killua would change his mind. Upon spinning with Kalluto, Alluka giggled aloud. 

She was happy now that they won't be attacked by Illumi about their sexualities and their true personality. Not only that, but Illumi  _ might _ defend them if they were attacked too. She never knew how that happened, but if Killua said he can't say, no need to say it!

"Guys. I'll do something for you as a cheer for this happy occasion." Killua said, slumping down with Kalluto on the bed when he started feeling dizzy. "What do you guys want?"

"Champagne!" Alluka chanted jokingly, but Kalluto didn't catch up to it, so he gasped. They giggled aloud, and Killua scolded her for a while until someone knocked on the door. 

"Y'all left me to sulk alone. I'm your brother too, right?" Ikalgo feigned betrayal, making the three laugh when he joined them in Alluka's room.

After bickering with Ikalgo for a while, giggling and falling on the disheveled bed, Alluka finally said. "So, my big brother said  _ maybe _ he's in love!" Alluka teased, so Killua whined.

"No, Alluka."

"Y e s."

"Big brother won't cry after this?" Kalluto asked, shutting the trio for a while. When the atmosphere went stiff, Ikalgo sighed.

"If that person made your brother cry, I'm going to decapitate him."

"I won't get a breakdown, guys, chill!" Killua placated, sitting up to look at every one. "I'm strong now."

No one believed him, even when Killua smiled cutely, they never smiled back.

Killua has a bad sense of choosing who to love. Yes, he had a thing for muscular guys, hooking up without restrictions or limitations because he's spoiled. However, that wasn't a perk of who to choose to love in Killua's dictionary, which is a good thing. Even though he tried to be serious about who to love and be vulnerable for, he ended up with the worst choice. A son of a rival company to his family.

Killua always believed that he had the right to choose. He thought Ikalgo would back him up, but even Ikalgo talked about business. This made Killua so mad, so he never trusted anyone. Ikalgo told him that loving a child of a rival company is never the best choice because maybe that boy's love isn't as sincere as Killua's love.

Killua blocked everyone out of his mind because he loved that sweet, unbelievably, and unrealistically sweet teen. They were in freshman year, and the boy joined their school  _ just for Killua _ — making Killua fawn because he felt important to him.

Now, anyone who brings up this topic, Killua gets sick, nearly vomits for real. So no one dared to bring it up, and it was an indirect rule in the Zoldyck house not to bring it up for Killua's health. It was the only time all the Zoldyck family was one together not because of business, but to help Killua out. 

All of that was a plan to lure Killua out, to know the plans of the Zoldyck corporation. Killua trusted him a lot, told him a lot, and nearly destroyed the Zoldyck name and took it out of the market. No one blamed him. His mom blamed him a bit, yelling how hard his grandfather worked to make that name, saying how she regrets raising a stupid child. In the end, she stopped when Killua broke down. 

He stopped eating, stopped bathing, stopped getting out of his room. Everyone tried talking to him, yelling, forcing him out of the bed, but nothing worked out. It was too traumatizing to someone like him. He felt as if he's a huge idiot, especially when he went to meet his  _ boyfriend _ a few times to see if they forced him to tell his secrets. He never believed he'd betrayed him. But he did believe it when he never met him after that.

What made it more traumatizing, is when Kalluto came inside his room one day, crying to hug Killua and feel his embrace again, but Killua pushed him away too hard, too hard for a child. He fell harshly, breaking his wrist. 

Killua needed twice the time to recover, especially when he knew he could never fix his relationship with Kalluto. Kalluto never cried or showed any emotion before, and it was the only time he cried in his whole life. Even though Kalluto wanted to tell Killua how he's fine with everything he did, he didn't know how to say or express it.

Killua thought Kalluto never wanted to talk to him again, but after a lot of attempts and therapy, Killua started getting better. He even started spending time with Kalluto, understanding his pain better, communicating with him better. 

That inspired his art hugely. Killua had a thing for art, but he didn't know his true artistic self until he overcame that pain — when he's seen Kalluto's too. He illustrated paintings describing Kalluto's autism and his suffering, describing Killua's pain of betrayal. That started to become bigger and bigger with each painting, making Killua's goal clear in life regarding his art career. 

But in the end, that pain never leaves, leaving a scar and a trauma behind. Killua's trust issues were a reminder of that incident, his insecurities, and his forever fear of relationships.

Now, all they want is to help Killua cope. He always says he's fine, but they hardly believed that. It's been three years, almost? But the scar is still there. To reopen, it needs an atom of salt. As long as they protect him from betrayal, that injury will never open again.

Spending time together, Killua and his younger siblings, was one way to feel peace. Ikalgo is Killua's twin; it was never hard to spend time with him. That's what they're doing, sharing their secrets confidently with each other. Illumi's a Pansexual, Killua's probability of having a crush, who Gon is to him. It was a little gossip party, and the base was Alluka's room.

"Oh, God. Amber texted me." Killua looked at Ikalgo, too startled. He jumped to sit next to him, curiously investigating his friend's phone.

_ Hey! Have you seen Killua today? I'm a little worried because he hasn't answered my texts since yesterday. _ Ikalgo turned to the confused Killua. "Didn't you say he didn't text after he came from his job?"

Killua was too confused until his eyes widened. "Gosh. I forgot I muted him because I was too pissed." Ikalgo wheezed when Killua rushed to unlock his phone. Alluka and Kalluto were looking at their brother in awe when he read Gon's messages aloud. 

"Heyyo? Beau? I'm back. How are you? After a while he said, you ignorin' me again? I wanna talk! Then after an hour, babe? I'm sorry if I said something wrong? We're besties right?" Ikalgo snorted like a pig after trying to stop his laughter for a while. Alluka and Kalluto were way confused about the conversation. "This morning he commented on my painting in private, but I didn't notice. And in like an hour from now he said, I miss you. Electrify the atmosphere again, please." Killua was reading in a monotone voice, which made it ten times funnier. Ikalgo was laughing aloud for a while, a hand resting on his belly when he choked mockingly. "He texted." Suddenly, Killua's voice trembled in shock, so Ikalgo smirked.

"Oh? About the bet?"

"No."

"What did he say then?"

"Um." Killua looked down at the message…  _ If you don't wanna talk to me, I will stop disturbing you. _

_ Nah. I just saw the messages. Ikalgo told me you're texting. I didn't notice.  _ Killua didn't hesitate to reply to the latest message.

_ So you want me to disturb you? _ Gon texted again, so Killua rolled his eyes.

"I feel like teasing him." Ikalgo suddenly said when Killua was busy talking. Killua's eyes shot directly to Ikalgo who was smirking.

"Don't do anything," Killua mumbled, frowning at his friend because he knows how evil he is. 

"It's gonna be fun."

"Kago!"

Grinning, Ikalgo texted something. Killua crawled closer to his side and stuck his head over Ikalgo's shoulder to see what he said.

_ Sorry, he was busy with me and I had u muted, so u don't disturb us.  _ Killua whined wildly, making the youngest Zoldycks chuckle. 

"Why the harm!" Killua yelled.

"Because I wanna see how he reacts! He made you jelly! He deserves it!"

"BRUH!" Killua slumped next to him with a sullen face. But deep down, he was curious to know how Gon would react. 

_ Oh. U guys r hangin out for a while I see. _ Gon replied, making Ikalgo's smirk wider.

_ Yea. Since yesterday. Killua was upset abt smthn. I had to stay over and sleep with him  _ "Fuck you." Killua mumbled, so Ikalgo guffawed nonstop. 

_ Oh. Ohhh. Okay. _ "Look at that reaction!" Ikalgo pointed at his screen, choking a snicker.

Afterward, Killua's phone vibrated.

_ Am I still muted? _ He said, so Killua giggled sympathetically. 

_ Nah. Sorry for that. _

_ Hope u had a goodnight. _ Killua's cheeks reddened, feeling Ikalgo's face atop his shoulder. "Poor Gon." He mumbled next to Killua's ear, hot air pumping for extra effect.

_ Um, yea. I feel better now. _

_ Good.  _ Gon replied, and Ikalgo feigned trembling and moaning, but Alluka threw her sandal at him. "WE ARE CHILDREN HERE!" She yelled, so Ikalgo whined and rubbed his cheek, where the sandal landed. Then, he continued his inconsistent giggles.

_ U aight? _ Killua texted, cheeks swollen of how red they've become. 

_ Yea. _

_ And Palm? _ He reminded him again, just to change the topic of Ikalgo and him  _ sleeping _ together, which never happened yesterday.

_ She left midday yesterday. Stop talking abt her though. _

_ Why not? _

_ Because why would you talk about a friend of a friend? _

_ Uhuh? _

_ Talk about meeee! _ Ikalgo wheezed, and Killua giggled aloud. "He's so fun to talk to," Ikalgo admitted, so Killua hummed. 

_ Okay? How was yesterday? _ Killua typed, so Ikalgo rested his head on Killua's shoulder to read. Kalluto and Alluka continue their holiday assignments in peace, ignoring the horny teens in Alluka's room.

_ I'm so tired. I even met someone who I didn't wanna meet. _

_ Who? _

_ Uh. Someone. _

_ Another ex of yours? _ Killua texted, a little bit pissed again. He shouldn't be, but he couldn't help it. Gon sent a few dots to confirm Killua's question, so Killua rolled his eyes.

_ Hope u had fun then. _ He replied, but he tried to play it off as if he didn't care. If Ikalgo sensed the negative energy from Killua, he might freak out that Killua would break down again.  _ Not at all. Take that idea outta your mind, beau. I only have fun when I'm with you. _

_ I'm so bored of that. _ Killua texted, waiting for a reaction from Ikalgo. However, the pink-haired was too silent. He read the messages without a reaction, slumped on Killua's shoulder.

_ I'd love to call and make it more interesting, but I think your 'friend' would mind. _ Ikalgo finally snickered. "He has to fear my power, or how would I protect you!?" He objected, so Killua smiled warmly.

_ Tentacles is fine, and he doesn't hate you or anything. _

_ Killua, tell me. R u guys together or smth? _ Ikalgo snickered again. "Yep, he's frightened of my power." Killua giggled for a while.

_ No. He's my friend. _ Gon continued Killua's text, turning the whole friendship to a dirty meaning.  _ With benefits. _ He said.

_ What?! Ew, no way! _ Killua replied, but Ikalgo was wheezing so hard at Gon sulking text. Gon is too upset about his relationship with Killua. He carried his phone, startling Killua, so the albino dumped his phone to look at Ikalgo's chat with Gon.

_ Bro, I'd never fuck my younger brother. We're like siblings chill xD. _ He sent, transforming Killua from pale to pink. 

_ Oh. You're reading our chat? _ Gon replied, which made Killua too embarrassed as he observed.

_ Yes. I'm kinda worried about my baby. If you playin' imma slayin'. _

Killua screeched, shrieking at the stupid rhyme Ikalgo did. Ikalgo slapped his shoulder playfully to stop him from whining and moaning agonizingly.

_ Can you like… take a selfie with him…. _ Gon texted, ignoring the threat fully. "Oh, em gee. Someone's too curious right now." Killua looked at the chat and glared at Ikalgo.

"Don't you dare."

"I won't. I won't interfere in that. You send him your beautiful face whenever you want." Ikalgo shrugged the suspicious look of Killua to reply.

_ No. He's mine now. _ Killua waited to see Gon's reply because he was typing for a while.

_ You said you won't fuck your brother. That's incest, bro. _ The teens lost their minds for a while, wheezing hysterically. "He's worried! Poor Gon!" Ikalgo chanted.

_ It won't be incest because we aren't brothers by blood, man. Thought you're smarter than that. However, I won't do shit, I said. He's like a brother to me, stop shitting yourself. _ Ikalgo texted.  _ I could send a picture of me to tease you about my hotness. I can swap Killua from you by ease if I want. Ya wanna see? _ "Bruhhhhh," Killua whined, but he was smiling. Gon stopped talking to Killua, so he could talk to Ikalgo. 

_ No, I'm not interested.  _ Gon replied. "He roasted you like a chicken." Said Killua, and Ikalgo rolled his eyes, clutching his phone like it's an important challenge. 

_ Okay! You're just scared to see the challenge, uhem me, so you won't freak out further right? _

_ No, you said that you won't fuck him. So, I'm alright with that.  _ "Wow, so blunt," Ikalgo replied, eyeing Killua who was blushing stealthily. "I wonder when you guys reached that level. It's too early?"

"I'm as shocked as you, okay? I did nothing, I swear." Ikalgo raised his eyebrow when Killua waved his hands defensively. 

Alluka was too disturbed by the talk, so she took her brother's hand and left the room for its invaders. They didn't even notice when the teens left.  _ Tentacles, I'm really curious to know more about Killua.  _ Gon texted again when Ikalgo didn't reply.

_ Oh, yea? And you expect me to sell you my bestie's secrets?  _ Killua heart clenched for a bit at that, looking away to try and forget. 

_ No. I want him to tell me about them himself. I just. I want help to come closer to him. I'm interested, and help a friend out, can you? _ Killua looked again at Ikalgo's phone, profusely sweating.  _ Please? I know that he's reading by the way.  _

_ How can I help you with that? I don't really trust my baby with you either. Gain my trust first. _ Ikalgo puffed his chest, trying to be a parental figure once in his life. Killua didn't mind so. He needed protection because it hurts to be an idiot and vulnerable twice. 

_ How can I do that? _ Gon texted.  _ I'm telling him about my exes because I wanna be clear with him. Because I'm serious. _

Ikalgo was a little pissed off by that. He pushed Killua away, startling him. "Now's ya gotta have your beauty sleep, baby. I wanna talk with him alone."

"Bro, what? I wanna see." Killua didn't notice how hoarse his voice was until now. It startled both Killua and Ikalgo. His throat was dry, which happens a lot when he's anxious about something. At the cue, Ikalgo frowned, and Killua huffed and laid down, back facing his bestie. 

_ Serious? How serious could you be in an online relationship? _ Ikalgo turned serious. He wants to test the waters, to know Gon's motives. He wouldn't have cared if Killua was messing around, but his reactions reminded him of that freshman Killua who was madly in love. Now isn't as much as that day, but if that continued, it might be worse. 

_ Uh. I never thought of that honestly.  _ Gon replied.

_ Listen. Or see. Whichever works for you. You never thought about it because you never intended to be serious, Gon. Don't play around Killua if that's your intention, I swear I will find you and I will kill you if you hurt him. _

_ Wow, everyone's threatening me as if I am a sheep. All because I wanna be with Killua. _ Ikalgo was taken aback by that. Who threatened him?

_ I don't know who would threaten you for Killua other than me, but you have to know something. All of us know that you love messing around, it's kinda obvious. But when Killua loves someone, he truly loves them. If you don't deserve that, then stay away PLEASE. _

_ I don't know if I deserve it. _ Gon wrote after a minute of typing.  _ But I can't stay away.  _

_ Bro? _ Ikalgo wanna curse, wanna cuss, and beat Gon's face to feel calm.  _ Selfish much? _

_ I don't know. If Killua isn't okay with trying online dating, we can be friends. He could've told me to stop, I will. Really. _

_ Pfft. Try? If u wanna try online dating, then try it with someone else. _ Ikalgo said.  _ I won't hesitate to date Killua to make him stay away from you, don't try me. Killua would be too embarrassed to refuse me. _

_ Wtf. You're crazy for saying that.  _

_ I'm protective. And I know MORE than you. I know stuff that you're in no place to know. _ Gon stopped texting, but the green dot was still vibrant next to his name.

_ I'd like to be in a place where I can understand Killua better. And if he likes me, I won't break his heart. Promise.  _

Ikalgo reread the text for a while, sneaking a look at Killua to see him asleep. He sleeps so fast, or maybe because he didn't sleep a lot yesterday?

_ I'm watching you, Gon. _ Ikalgo said, thinking that their conversation will be done like that, but Gon typed again. 

_ And to make Killua happy, I'd like to be friends with you too.  _ Ikalgo frowned, but he sighed. The phone in his hands rested, but his thumbs weren't moving. He was a little speechless after that. He doesn't wanna talk more as the conversation revived all the bad memories.

_ Whatever. _ He locked his phone, gently shaking Killua. "Killuaaa! Wake up! THE GYM IS WAITING!" Killua tried pushing him, but Ikalgo didn't budge, throwing himself on Killua to suffocate him. "We can go apartment hunting too!" Killua's eyes fluttered.

Ikalgo grinned, kissing the air when Killua woke up. "Why?" He asked dumbfoundedly, making Ikalgo soft.

"Remember our promise? To live together at eighteen?"

"Why, of course."

"It won't hurt to skim through some of them now." Killua grinned excitedly, jumping off the bed to rush to his room. Ikalgo went down to talk to Silva, telling him about them going to the gym and convincing him that they won't be late. 

Killua put his Nike shoes on and checked his phone to see a message from Gon.  _ Talk to me when you can.  _

Killua remembered that he left Ikalgo talking to him, so he made a mental note to ask Ikalgo about it later. On his way down the grand stairs, he met with Illumi who took him to a corner. 

"January seventh is our day to leave. We already decided that it's going to be in Zaban City." Killua nodded, and both of them parted ways. Ecstasy for his brother’s marriage is unbearable. He needed to blow some steam at the gym anyway.

°•~~~~•°

Killua was running at a speed of 8 on the treadmill, beating Ikalgo's score who stopped and panted. There were four in the gym, excluding the teens. It was great not to be near Corona to train peacefully. 

The gym was huge so all of them were lost, sometimes forgetting that they weren't alone. "Fuck. That was something." Ikalgo mumbled, inhaling and staring at Killua enviously. The boy wasn't tired yet, still running and continuing to slay Ikalgo's best record. He rolled his eyes when Killua didn't stop, waving his hands and going to lift some weight.

Killua always found himself in running, not always. That was an exaggeration. He sometimes found himself in running. Putting on that rap music and running nonstop. He directs all of his emotions to stomp harder, to run faster. Even though painting is everything to him, working out is a nice way to change from time to time. He worked hard with Ikalgo to build those bodies, and make those six-packs.

All because of what Ikalgo said years prior.  _ "If you hate yourself for being an albino, then do what makes you love yourself." _ It seemed so cliche and weird, but once Killua started doing that, he started loving himself more.

Working out, eating healthy, putting on makeup, dressing sexy. He did everything he thought would make him comfy, and he didn't care what others thought of him. A day he wears like emos, and the other he wears baggy clothes— that's what he always wanted, to stay comfy. 

Makeup was a barrier to covering his insecurities even though Ikalgo explained how that is only a temporary solution to him. He doesn't wear extreme makeup, because he believes in staying himself. Maybe an eyeliner there, and dark eyeshadow for clubs, that works. He hates the taste of lipsticks, so he didn't put them often, especially when they could form ugly smudges. His favorite and forever blush was adding a light color to his cheeks. Maybe pinkish to suit his ivory skin. It gave him some life as an albino. Ikalgo offered to dye Killua's hair a few times, but Killua was too afraid of that. 

He wasn't sure any color would fit his sensitive skin even though he hates how bright his natural hair color is. Luckily, the gym is warm enough not to feel the cold. And the workout was pumping energy into his veins. His breaths were inconsistent, but he didn't stop.

All of a sudden, his phone rang. Assuming that it's his worried mom, he picked up. "Yeah?" As breathy as someone running for miles, Killua said.

_ "Oh— Am I interrupting anything?" _ Killua was puzzled, so he skipped one step by fault and fell off the machine. 

"Killua?! You okay?!" Ikalgo ran to help Killua sit. Once he made sure that Killua was okay with a minor chin injury, he imagined how he fell on his chin, butt pointy. And he couldn't stop wheezing. "Oh my gosh! What happened to you?!" Asked Ikalgo.

Killua was blushing hard, listening to Gon yelling if he was okay and asking what happened in his ears. "I— I'm fine." He said for both Ikalgo and Gon. 

His bestie noticed the creeping blush in his cheeks, so he decided to leave and continue weight-lifting. In contrast, Killua remained on the ground to talk to Gon. "You startled me."

_ "Sorry! What happened?" _

"I was working out," Killua grumbled, grasping his ankles in his Criss-cross position and sulking embarrassingly. "I thought you're my mom."

_ "Now I'm your mom? I'd work as a daddy—" _

"Shut up. I will hang up—"

_ "Ok! Ok! Sorry!" _ Gon laughed heftily, so Killua calmed down.  _ "I hope you didn't break a bone or something. I'm kinda shocked your mom uses discord." _

"I didn't break a bone, don't worry." Killua stood up and headed towards his towel to wipe the sweat then put his bottle of water under his chin, so it won't swell. "Mom doesn't use discord, but my phone is in vibrate mode and I picked up using my AirPods. I didn't notice it was discord. It usually buzzes when someone rings, so I only have to touch my AirPods to answer."

_ "I see. I'm kinda fascinated right now. I'm too lucky to call at this time too." _ Killua put the towel down, sitting in the seat to calm his energetic body.

"What do you mean?"

_ "The way you talked at first was too hot." _

"Gon, I'm in public," Killua mumbled, slightly embarrassed, and looked around the empty gym.

_ "Are you wearing a mask anyway?" _ Gon asked. He was concerned for sure.  _ "When you didn't reply to my text about talking, I thought you muted me again, so I tried calling." _

Killua let out a sigh, feeling a little guilty. "I didn't mute you. I was just busy working out."

_ "I honestly thought you're… uh." _

"Shut up." Killua directly replied, blocking any possible dirty talk. He doesn't have to do anything dirty to be breathless, but Gon is always dirty.

_ "Ok— Anyway. I just wanted to talk." _ Killua smiled. His heart was a little fuzzy when he heard Gon stumbling a bit for the first time. It feels good for his heart to talk without being shy for once. Gon and his idiocy and straight-forwardness make it too easy.  _ "I shouldn't be disturbing, but I might be busy for a while. I really wanna talk to you about something, Killua. And I'm so serious about it." _

Killua straightened. What did Ikalgo say to make Gon  _ that _ nervous? He just hopes he didn't cuss him out because Ikalgo has that habit of turning to a killer mode when he's mad. "You can tell me anything, I guess."

_ "Not now. I need you to be comfortable, and I need to prepare myself for it." _ Killua's curiosity was high. He was too curious to know if what he's thinking is right.  _ "I think we should delay that for later, but what I wanna say now… please think about me more." _

"Wh, what?" Killua stammered. He never thought that Gon is blunt enough to say something that sexual. Maybe he didn't mean it that way? But even with Killua stammering like that, Gon didn't correct him.

_ "Until we talk about that again, think about what I am to you. Because you really need that for our talk. I'll do the same." _ Killua twiddled with his fingers shyly, and the way he was blushing attracted Ikalgo back to him. He put one of the AirPods in his ears, which startled Killua a bit.

"Uh, okay. I think." Killua mumbled and stared at his bestie. Ikalgo was raising an eyebrow suspiciously, but Killua was worried about telling him anything else. He does  _ want _ to hold into Gon a little longer? Even though he made a promise to take everyone's approval of whom to love from now on, he feels worried now that Ikalgo and others won't give Gon a chance.

Just a selfish teensy thought to keep that to himself.  _ "Okay! _ " Gon seemed a little cheery afterward.  _ "I'll leave you to work out now. I'm glad I heard your voice. Love you!" _

"Bye…" He hung up and waited for Ikalgo to hand over the earbud. Once done, both of them went to lift some weight. Weirdly enough, Ikalgo didn't question nor ask about their conversation. And Killua was thankful.

"When are you guys going to that marriage ceremony? Did Illumi say anything?" Ikalgo said, lifting a few kilograms in each hand.

"Yeah. January the seventh. I'm so excited for him. My stomach squeezes when I imagine that something might go wrong." Killua mumbled, trying to lift something heavier than the one in Ikalgo's hand. 

"Stop. Don't lift heavier stuff until you're used to the current one."

"I'm used to it!"

"Liar!" They bickered about weights, loudly cursing at each other inside the gym. They easily get into fights when it comes to someone's health or fatigue. “I’m sure nothing could go wrong. Just don’t tell any of your homophobic bitches back at home, and no one would cause you any troubles.” 

“I hope so. Illumi never smiled before, you know? It was genuine when he smiled at the end of our talk. I… I never thought my brother would be that attractive when he smiled.” Said Killua. Ikalgo tittered, throwing the would down with a loud thud. 

“Guess they weren’t wrong when they said love is like magic. Just don’t get too carried away. Also, make sure to snap a picture of them. I wanna see his soon-to-be-husband.” Ikalgo continued to ramble when Killua didn’t bother to talk. He usually enjoys Ikalgo’s one-sided conversations. “I hope they suit each other. Oh, boy. What if they matched suits? This would be amazing. The priest is gay? He must be. Hopefully, it will be in a church, but I think they’re signing marriage documents in the court of law. Oh! I’m so excited to see you in a suit! I didn’t see you in a suit for a while. I think you aren’t going to be too formal? Your dad might be sus!” Ikalgo made noises when he went back to Killua in a suit. “Make sure not to wear the blazer. You’re hotter without it. Don’t forget eyeliner! And snap as many selfies as possible. I love Zaban. It would be so good to tease Gon by sending him glitched selfies, so he won’t be able to see anything of you. Or like we can glitch all of you but keep your nose popping. This would be hilarious!”

Killua kept on smiling at all the crazy ideas, sometimes snorting. But whenever Ikalgo mentions Gon, Killua can’t help but think about what Gon just said.  _ To think about him.  _ As promised, both the teens went back home before twilight. Killua rested but his mind was raging ever since Gon asked him to think.

Who is Gon to him?

Well. They're a month — or less — online friends who are sexually joking together. Nonstop. 

How does Killua feel about those jokes? Absolutely happy. His heart tasted amiable happiness before when he loved and crushed on a lot of people. He's familiar with love, and he knows Gon is his type… How would he feel if Gon asked him out? Impossible. Whale Island is two plane stops away from him. If he's correct, it takes four hours to be there by plane, maybe more. 

Would he try dating online? If it is for fun, if it is with Gon, then he's craving it… Admitting that to himself mentally made him feel blank. He got up to shower, but he filled the bathtub with rose petals instead. It is the best spa solution for his body. He sank and rested. 

If Gon wasn't too far, would he give him a chance? Killua was too deep into his thoughts. He  _ knows _ that he will give him a chance, but it stopped being his choice alone after that incident. Everyone has to agree.

No one forced him on that. It was Killua's decision. Although his dad told him it's up to him, and he will only give advice, he still wanted all of them to agree first. Maybe he was too young to love, and now he's mature, but he's still insecure about it.

If it remains online, no one needs to know about it. It was an advantage. Gon doesn't know anything about him except his first name. He doesn't know where he lives, what he looks like, what he does except painting. It feels the right thing to do to renovate his feelings. Just loving someone who could never be a harm to him because he's so far away. Asking that question mentally again, would he date Gon and try dating online? Yes.

As long as Gon doesn't ask for personal information. Because if he did, Killua is going to block him and leave Asteroids Server behind. He doesn't want to revive the pain because of Gon. Until now, all of Gon's concerns are poured down on Killua's shape and what Killua likes and what Killua does, just what Killua wants to tell throughout the time. If he asks about his family's business, his family's income, presses about where he lives, and any related topic, whether they are friends or lovers, he will block him. 

Everything was settled upon finishing his bath. He sat naked with only a towel after turning the heater on. After the heart's confrontation, he felt genuinely better. 

He does want to try it out with Gon…

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yes. You were waiting for the meeting, I know XD prepare yourselves for the next chapter then >:3
> 
> Also, I want to say welcome to all of my Wattpad followers on AO3. I'm so sorry about the Wattpad massacre that happened to us there. And I'm sorry to those who lost their accounts, stories, and drafts. I'm not going back to Wattpad after the major loss of my content and followers, but Wattpad authors who can't find my new account, It's GonKilluLuciel1. And I'm posting all of my backed up stories on AO3, so you won't miss them!
> 
> I made this account for my followers who are still searching for me there. I made a discord server for everyone to help them adapt and adjust to AO3 because the majority of authors finally decided to leave Wattpad after the massacre. And I'm here to help you all to back up your stories and transfer them to AO3. 
> 
> Good luck, guys. And I hope that those who lost their stories and account to be coping. It's really a huge pain 


	9. Karma

The anticipated morning had arrived with its calm weather and ascending sun. There was a calmness about waking up wrapped in the blankets, eyes slowly fluttering to close and succumb to sleep again. Killua knows he should wake up, but he was so tired after spending the night talking to Gon. 

He called again, and they lost the track of time like always. It was fun, utterly fun. But now, he has to focus on what's important, aka his brother. To go to Zaban, they need an hour, which will get them down, and so they take a ride to court.

Allowing the thought to sink into his sleeping mind and awaken him, he kicked his legs and arched his back for a stretch. A soft groan left his dried lips when he felt the pleasure of stretching, then slumped down to look at his blue-whitish ceiling. The winter sun penetrated slowly throughout the blinds, so Killua decided to sit up and stretch his limbs again. 

Right then, he knew it's around eight in the morning. He clutched his fully charged phone to scroll through the messages. AmberJajanken commented on his painting, smothering it with love. 

Killua couldn't help but smile. Even though Killua's painting was a child crying and clutching the shirt over his heart, bloody background colored in black, Gon's compliments were too positive that shed a light into the darkest of his drawings.  _ This is so emotional. I love how it describes the incursion of pain inside all of our hearts. Fantastic! _

Killua giggled, setting his phone aside to go and have a morning bath. He stripped down in front of the mirror, looking at his silky body like porcelain. The look of himself, which would've been perfect if he wasn't an albino, made him a little sick. He ran his hand on his hairless arms, a little depressed how all the masculine perks in his body were demolished. 

One of his bullies once said, "You shouldn't pursue a gay man. Follow a straight one because you're considered a female." It wasn't the right time to remember, but that memory was also followed by Ikalgo screeching and grabbing the bully from his hair, taking a few strands out, and cursing aloud before adding, "I'll make you hairless. You featherless chicken!" 

Killua smiled, turning the faucets after stepping into the cold ground of the bathroom. He noticed that there weren't any rose petals. He ran out. Just great. It's a nice way to start his morning. Succumbing to soap only, he sank into the water, wettening his hair and trying to look pretty for his brother's wedding. 

Apparently, Illumi told their dad that they're going on another business trip. He's taking Killua because there is an important client who requested meeting him. Very convincing, because clients usually ask to meet Killua. Funny enough, he lacks any press presence, so there weren't enough pictures on google about him. A perk of being an introvert. Most of the Zoldyck family pictures are in conferences, which won't be that apparent unless someone specifically searched the family's name.

Killua raised his leg, sponging it smoothly. He heard someone coming inside the room, and the door of his bathroom opened. "You're not ready yet?" Illumi looked down at Killua who was drowned by bubbles. "I'm the one who's going to marry, but you're the one who's having the grand bath."

Killua giggled, rubbing his hair and whistling. "I'll be ready in fifteen."

"You better. We have to leave as soon as possible." With that, Illumi shut the door, leaving Killua to blow his bubbles. 

As promised, Killua did his best not to fall into the trap of his thoughts. Nonetheless, he was still thinking about what he wanted to have with Gon. Going to his wardrobe, Killua took the ready outfit and threw it on his bed. They're going casual not to attract many eyes. 

When he was drying himself, Killua remembered Gon's seductive request last night.  _ "If you don't wanna tell me how you look like, tell me something so relevant about you." _ Killua looked down at his white jeans and a grey collared shirt.  _ "White." _ Was Killua's reply to Gon's inquiry. 

Gon didn't question even though he sounded confused.  _ White _ . Of course not Killua's personality, or his purity because white for an artist mostly represents cleanliness like a canvas. But white is what represents Killua a lot. He's an albino with white like snow hair, ivory skin, and he wears white a lot. It was the best way to describe himself without being too obvious. 

Wearing the clothes with black flats, he looked at the mirror once again to make sure nothing was messy. He fastened his collared shirt under his pants and fixed the expensive branded belt. Then, he grabbed his white vest to wear it atop the grey collared shirt. Formal but not formal enough. 

Subsequently, Killua walked out of his room, clutching his grey coat. Illumi told him it wouldn't be that cold in Zaban so that they might leave their coats in the hotel. No need for extra clothing since they will come back home the next morning.

He went down the grand stairs, looking at his phone to find Gon sending texts. He wore his coat and unlocked his phone.  _ Hey! Morning! _

Why is he awake? Killua usually wakes up before him since he's an hour after him.  _ Morning, early bird. _ Killua texted, finally reaching the main floor. Gotoh must've put their luggage in the car already, so he didn't bother to ask about it.  _ Why are you awake so early? _

_ It's seven! I also have something very important to attend to _ . Killua went inside the living room to see both his father and brother sitting and drinking coffee before the fireplace. 

"Good morning." Said Killua. Illumi stared at him, something soft in his eyes. Killua couldn't describe it because his brother was hard to understand. He never wears emotions on his face.

Both of them reply to Killua's greeting, and Silva dials the kitchen's number. In less than a moment, the coffee table was full of luscious food. The three of them had to share breakfast before the huge departure. 

Silva and Illumi, the two least favorite members of Killua's family. It's a shocking plot twist that Killua ended up sitting with them. "Don't make the customer upset, Killua." The teenager grumbled, giving his dad a fatigued look. "I know you hate dealing with our salesmen and customers because of your ' _ being cool' _ phase but don't cause trouble to your brother."

Killua brought the pancake dish to his lap and poured the delicate maple syrup atop the butter when he contemplated a teasing and indirect reply to toss his dad's way. He's not intending to tease his dad but the passive listener in the room. "I'd do a good job, Father." Killua smiled and set the maple syrup glass down. He slit a puny part of his triple-layered pancake and shot his brother a look. "The customer is so intriguing. Illumi guaranteed that I won't feel bored."

Illumi's eyebrows flickered upside-down, but he was able to maintain a monotone stare. "Definitely."

Upon eating and expressing etiquette appropriately, Silva hummed. "Your SUV is ready for departure. I made sure your three-day stay at the hotel is perfect. If you need anything else, make sure to contact me, Son." Illumi approved and showed his gratitude by his dull and recurrent speech. 

Amongst the chatter, Killua checked his phone to find Gon's recent text.  _ I might be offline for the day. Don't worry about me, but I have a wedding to attend! >:D _

Killua smiled at the coincidence. How Karma easily helped them find things in common. Even though a vast sea separates them, insignificant coincidence draws them closer. Both of them are going to enjoy a wedding today, which is great. 

_ Hope it's Mito's wedding. Your mom deserves her soulmate. _ Killua rethought his choice of words and decided to make it sassier.  _ But she has to take care of you all the time. Give her a break, idiot. URGE her to go on a blind date _ .

Gon sends a few laughing emojis. Both of them know that Mito has no intention to fall in love, and it wasn't Gon's fault in the first place. Gon explained it to him, explained why he's living with his aunt instead of his parents.

His mom died of disease, but his dad never thought about raising him alone. Killua knew the topic is much deeper than the shallow part Gon gave him, but he didn't press it in case it's sensitive. He just knew that things aren't that great with Gon and his dad.

_ It's not Mito's marriage, I wish! But, it's someone important to me, kinda. I idolize that man. _ Killua looked at his brother. Now that he's intently staring,  _ creepily staring, _ he could see the soft ivory hue on his brother's pale cheeks. That little bead of sweat on his temple; shimmered pointedly due to the corner light next to his brother. 

_ He's nervous. _

Killua's smile widened, but both of his family members were busy talking. 

_ Guess what… both of us are gonna be so happy today. _ Killua texted, but he didn't wait for Gon's reply. Hence, his brother stood up and gestured for Killua to follow. 

It's about time they move.

Illumi almost peed himself from anxiety, only Killua could sense. "Be safe, and don't hesitate to fill me in with your trip." Said Silva.

After the farewell, Illumi directs Killua to the SUV. Crossing the gardens and heading directly to the gate, where the SUV range steadily waited with a soft humming engine.

Gotoh bowed when the two Zoldycks appeared and opened the backseat door for them. 

"Hopefully, we will arrive before ten," Illumi said upon going inside their Range, Killua hot on his trails.

"I'm sure you didn't mistake any calculations." Killua nonchalantly replied. It feels genuine how Illumi is nervous; he never sweats or squints or tightly presses his lips. Killua's learning new things about his big mighty brother. To Killua, these are enough signs to deem his brother as nervous.

"I know. I never make a mistake." Said Illumi. Killua rolled his eyes and twiddled with his phone until he couldn't handle the stiff posture of his brother.

"Illumi. You look like a fucked up bride though you didn't reach  _ that _ bed, you know?! You're making me nervous!" Illumi's eyes widened, but his lips were tightly shut. He looked at Gotoh by the rearview, then he slowly turned to look at Killua as if he just committed a crime. "What?! I'm saying the truth! Gotoh won't spill, though."

"I knew I shouldn't have told you." Although Killua didn't make it obvious,  _ not that obvious, _ Illumi was too stressed that any butler could sense the shit that was going down. However, Gotoh is a trustworthy butler, and he'd never snitch on them.

"Seriously,  _ relax," _ Killua said. He turned his torso to face his brother when he added. "You were always so composed that it's hard to look at you now. It's painful." 

Despite Killua's mockery, Illumi maintained his natural monotone face. Sadly, he couldn't control his sweat glands. "Brother, it will work out well, alright? I mean… no one will dare to mess that up for Illumi Zoldyck."

Illumi let out a sigh, looking at the blurry houses by the glass of his window. "I know. I'm just thinking about what will happen next." A pause, then Illumi continued. "Would I ever share a house with him?"

"Oh, god. Into the fantasies of my brother." Killua mocked and rolled his eyes. "Think about that when you guys get bored of living away from each other."

That's true. Illumi had the habit of overthinking things. He'd undergo every process, disintegrate it, and eat it up until he's confident it will work the way he wants it. He's taught Killua that too, but it never worked for someone as creative as Killua.

He doesn't see his inspiration, his decision, his people as a process that should be investigated and split into numerical parts. Some things are found to stay avid and unknown; that what appeals to it the most. 

Just like the future.

You won't know what to come until you live it, but the future and present aren't exactly the same.

Killua had to explain this, to disintegrate it the way his brother would understand it. His brother's shoulders after that weren't stiff but relaxed. Maybe he did need Killua to push him, and it wasn't just a sheepish request from Illumi.  _ He needed him _ because Illumi knew he would hesitate.

"Let's get you married, and everything comes later, Brother." Illumi hummed, lightly thanking Killua for something. Deep down, Killua knew that Illumi's shallow gratitude was directed to Killua's support. Because Killua is here with him.

It warmed his heart.

That bubbling warmth from knowing things he'd never known about his brother. How anxious he could get over choosing something personal. How anxious he is to be disobedient. He's simpler than Killua imagined, overthinks his personal decisions and future.

It's scary how similar they are. It's scary how closer Killua is getting to his brother, the one he detested for years. He might be a bad brother, making mistakes here or there, but Killua was never the good brother either. It's fair to get a little closer...

"We've arrived," Gotoh announced.

The smooth landing in Zaban felt like a dream come true. It wasn't a dream for Killua, but it was for a certain Zoldyck, who's going to marry in a matter of hours. Illumi's calculations were precise as usual. They arrived at the airport at ten, and they landed in Zaban at eleven.

The prestigious hotel wasn't for a three-day stay, but who could object? Their father booked a room for each, but Illumi had other plans with Hisoka. Hisoka…

Where is he anyway?

Without him, Killua would tear his hair apart. His brother is getting so anxious, and it's contagious. "Your hubby is gonna catch up to us here or?" He asked when they went down to the lobby.

Their suitcases were both dumped on their beds, ignored and unorganized. If Killua recalls correctly, they should be in court at twelve. "He should be here somewhere. We agreed to meet in the lobby, but he's not picking up."

Killua toured his eyes around the place and fixed his black mask on the bridge of his nose. His gaze halted when it fell on a huge aquarium wall. It's a real aquarium. "Holy fuck. Look at that!" Killua pointed at the aquarium excitedly. "I already love this three-day  _ business _ trip."

Illumi dialed Hisoka's number again when Killua dragged him to the aquarium. "Don't fret. There might not be any signal." Killua reassured, and Illumi hummed in response.

The aquarium was huge, and Killua was sure that he'd spend the three days sitting on this bench before the glass. The colors of fish, all the types, shapes, and aquatic animals forced Killua to squeak. He's so glad he brought his sketchbook with him, stuck in that suitcase. The overall view is such an inspiration.

"You finally answered? Where are you?" Killua turned to look at Illumi. He felt weird hearing Illumi's scolding tone. It wasn't that different from his usual tone, just a tiny bit agitated and hastily accentuated. "Yeah. We're in the lobby. Next to the aquarium." Illumi guided. "So everyone's with you? That's great."

Relief washed over Killua at the mention of the witnesses. He was worried that the acquaintances would bail on Hisoka. But they were true to their word. Who would refuse a free trip to Zaban to spend three days in a luxurious hotel with all the fees covered? An idiot.

Gladly they were smart enough to become witnesses for Zoldyck's oldest child and his hubby.

"So?" Killua implored when Illumi tugged his phone in his pants pocket.

"They're coming. Hisoka was picking Chrollo up from the airport. They're on the way." Said Illumi. Killua sat on the bench and turned back to snap a picture of a pink and puny octopus. 

He sent it to Ikalgo with a teasing text.  _ The mighty Tentacles is watching meeee. _ Ikalgo didn't reply because he's someone who wakes up at noon.

Illumi sat down next to Killua, but the latter was busy debating if he should send a picture of the aquarium to Gon or wait until he paints it by himself. It is a hard decision because Killua prefers it when Gon compliments him over his paintings. If he sent a picture of the aquarium now, it won't be as fascinating.

But he also wants to show the place to Gon and get a genuine and joyous reaction from the hyper boy.

Right then, Illumi gestured to the front, "There they are." Killua fixed the sliding edge of his mask over the bridge of his nose, then turned to look in the designated direction. A red-headed man with a woman and… a very familiar-looking guy were coming their way. "That's Hisoka, the guy in the middle." Illumi pointed out, but Killua's eyes were unmistakably wide. He wasn't fascinated by Hisoka's attractive appearance. Not his red hair swaying with the motion, no; not his perfect black suit and wide smile, also no; not the brick-colored hair madame next to him, not at all; it's the shorter guy with that infamous wide grin, golden eyes that are unique enough… He wears a navy green vest, black collared shirt, and black pants, but that's not it. Not his raven hair, nothing of that mattered. It's just the fact that only one guy possesses this look. 

It's Gon.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ahhh, BTO is officially 50k+ words. YAY~
> 
> Also! Also!
> 
> BTO will take a huge leap after this chapter >:) Things won't stay the same. Be ready for the flight!
> 
> Thank you for reading and supporting this AU. It means a lot to me that each one of you is encouraging me to continue writing and improving. I've been spending so much time on this specific chapter. It was 5k+ words, and I shrank it to 3k words for a reason. 
> 
> This AU might be a real novel when I get all of my ideas down here. Of course, as a real novel, a lot of things would be more organized, but that's why I'm trying to get it down here first <3
> 
> I hope that you didn't find this chapter boring, and Is Illumi and Killua's brotherly relationship appealing in this chapter?

**Author's Note:**

> Hey! If you want to see the cover of the story (Drawn by me), it will be on my Instagram page and Wattpad account :) both under the name GonKIlluLuciel, and I hope that you'll enjoy the work. Also, feel free to communicate with me anywhere, I'd love to befriend gonkillu shippers x3


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